Sunday, March 23, 2008

I spent part of yesterday in the ER, and was sick most of the day, and eve and was sick off and on. I was given some fluids via IV due to dehidration and lack of fluids and over-exustion and serve fatigue, when I was brought in after being totally hummiluated chokeing on my own vomit, and body fluids, I had to re do my laundry and rest more and relax, as well.

I was sick and am tired of my abused body and being worn out, I over did myself as well. And am working hard on takeing care of my self and soul and mind body and spirt, talked to DLG and MLS yesterday, I also spoke to a friend at the law center, and took care of myself and soul

I also am going to look at a place or two also some other things, I have been looking at other factors and and slept ok, and drank water a bit and recharged more so as of late, and slept ok, and took care of myself and did what I had to do, and slept well and drank water, and took care of myself. This morning upon my awkaeing at 4am, and out the door by 5 or 6 am, I had 3 guys hit on me, 3 offer me rides, and propstened twice also.

I also took care of what I had to do, I have to pick up some things, and than go get my sweater as well, I slept good today, I think and I also have to look at housing and make my way to the collage next week. I slept well and cleaned up my face, I also am looking at places, people and work, I also have some issues to take care of with my medical expences.

Myself I have more going on and on-going with my life, and slept well and Ok, and I feel sick, dizzy and disorineted, and commit to do more for myself, life and well what I need to do for me, and myself. And what I need to do for me, my soul and my progression and not prefection and life.

I also need to progress more into my inner child and gnosticism, I made a new friend more recently that is ok, and I have been moving on Ive concidered nurseing, or can or nursieng school, or helping others, or working with drug / alchalo coucneling or as a therpsit or doing actvism work. I really want to help and carry my message to others, I dont want the drinking, I also was terrosied of the IV mainly due to the fact I worry about relapse or going back out drinking or having more than a drinking problem a drug problem, I sobered and cleaned up the old fashioned way as Bill wilson did, I dont think rehab or detox places work, I think you have to do it of your own free-will.

I feel very close to bill wilson, I also had a spirtual expearance which led me to such, yesterday I was afarid and I hate some toast and water and cofffee this morning, I slept ok and rested well. My health is in ok and better spirits, I also saw a few other things this morning and rested well.

I need a meeting this morning and that is on my adgenda today as well and on my list and progress not prefection for myself and inner child and chapter to my gnosticism and inner progresses and faith. Progress not prefection I reach enlightment for my soul, and inner self and true self.

I grow more and more, and while I spent time in the ER I did not make it to the bank in time, and continue to make progress not prefection and reach enlightment for myself, and continue to live, grow and prosper and reach life. I also want more life for myself and to be alive and choose life which I do day.

I have a huge resentment toward my father, and mother, I bitched out my dad and I feel bad, I blame both of them for what they did to me, I feel potrayed just as much as did with christan, I also am tough as nails, I do worry about my health, I have a lot to, and I dont like lie around when I am sick and feel sorry for myself, and take good care of myself and do what I need to do for me, and my soberity and program and what I need to do for myself.

--
Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger