San Francisco Cleaning up, No easy Answer for Reform in Troubled Times

Friday, July 11, 2008.


Questioning hate and Decimation, A Essay on Transphobia, from San Francisco to beyond, an Insight into people’s fears of the unknown and the documentation of Typical Waste of Tax Payer money in California, and San Francisco and beyond.


By Leigh McInnis Gaetjens

San Francisco is a wonderful place, equity the forefronts of the GLBT movement and the pioneering city and metro plex of the GLBT equity movement, Americas most European city.

Trans_Phobia is the result of Segregation, and degradation and Discretion of the Transgender community; peoples negative stenotypes, a few people who have no business as describing themselves as TG, and have serious mental health issues and have zero business transitioning.

We as Transgender women and men, need equal treatment not special treatment, but equal treatment, I hate when I am mistreated weather verbally, physically or emotional or mentally.
The Law applies to everyone; I just want the right to live.


Ill shares some of my life experiences at 6 months in San Francisco.
1.) In January 2008 was mugged with a knife in the film ore district, and told I can be mugged or assaulted and abused my San Francisco Police when I called for service, I was handcuffed and searched, and told they had 4 units looking for the suspect. I was integrated about drug use, protection, and warrants. (which I had none)
2.) April 2008I was mugged on the MUNI Metro and told I was problem prostituting myself on the train, and no report and the law was not enforced again
3.) May 2008 I have been lynched in a communal shower by other women with Hateful GLBT slurs, had a photo taken of me with a camria phone
4.) May 2008 - I have been verbally abused and harassed by other women when sleeping
5.) June 2008- I have had a 22-caliber handgun pulled on me, out of hate and intimidation.
6.) June 2008- I was punched in the face (In clear view of a police officer) On The MUNI / Bart Station for no apparent reason and called slurs and laughed at when I was ok.
7.) I have had a Transit cop refer to me using trans-phobic and hate speech when requesting proof of payment, refuse to take a report for the mentioned
8.) I was groped while wating for food, and laughed at
9.) I’ve been told to “get some bass in my voice and be a man” by a authority figure
10.) I’ve been told by Law Enforcement “ I can’t be raped or sexually harassed, I choose this and do this to myself, be a Man”
11.) Emergency room, upon discovering the female patient who collapsed was transgender due to stress and dehydration was treated poorly, and after signing a waiver of treatment and liability due to poor treatment, was cleaning up in bathroom, was escorted by armed security guards for trespassing in the bathroom. (I was washing the vomit off myself)
12.) I was told by an EMT, to go back where I came from, You’re not local are you the accent is from the south
13.) I was told to go back to my country (given my un-common last name) or whatever planet I came from by Law Enforcement
14.) I was told “Lee” you are a man, you do this to yourself, quit complaining you want to be a woman, but quit complains about how people treat us.
15.) I was questioned about my “alterative lifestyle” and what my “plumbing” is.
16.) I’ve been told I cant shower with women who are born women
17.) I’ve been denied sleep due to others verbally abusing me in a so-called safe place for women
18.) I’ve been told or suggested to go to a means shelter
19.) I’ve been lynched in a shower and had my picture taken, attempted to report it, and be told that Its not rape, and the police cant be called
20.) I’ve been kicked in my rib cage, and upper chest area, and groped for not “wakening up in a timely manner” and slammed into a cinderblock wall and made to face via police lineup and denied bathroom access. And only “women who are born women are allowed to use the women’s bathroom:”
21.) I was punched in the face and looked to see if I was ok, and let go, with no provocation by an individual in a BART station in front of a police officer (I was “OK” and no arrest was made)


The point is in America’s most European city and most accepting place, pain hurts progress, people resist change, in society. Historically it has been done and still struggles in areas with racial integration, sexual orientation and even gender, and religion.

For example, Mitt Romney is the equlaivait of JFK the Mormon for the white house, and the fear of Catholics in the 1960s, religious fear and persecution.
It hurts me to look the other way, but picked up various survival skills from GLBT Pioneers such as ray hill, the prison show, and others and various skins of various drinking related time spent.

It amazes me San Francisco being on the front of obscure, the strange and outcasts tolerates in its liberal view tolerance , rather than acceptance, equity and intergartion.Oh they are sick, oh it’s a fucking escusce. Tolleratance and accountability go hand in hand.

Something is morally and ethically wrong when someone is not PRO Jail and Prison for violence of hate if there is no injury, hate and prejectace is that and illegal, if you are ok and “brush it off” or cool it off.

People need to be accountable for their actions; people if they want help need to give something back. While I disagree with The Governator and The Mayor on some issues. They do have some principal’s correct just misguided actions.

They allow individuals who don’t have much else to do, to hide behind California, privacy laws, illegal young and adult criminals to commit crimes, and be allowed sanctuary at tax paper expense.

It Increases our Police, Fire, EMS and hospital expenses with trips to jail, overdoes, arrests, manpower, new hirelings, and acts of violence where you don’t track or document individuals who have long history’s of causieng trouble and breaking the law.



I propose if people want tax-payer subsided help, or submit to DNA testing for sexual assaults and open crimes, drug and alach9ol testing, and FBI Background checks. If you are getting something free, you should give something in return, to many un-savory individuals abuse the system for illegal purposes.

So Called liberal harm-reduction is labial bullshit garbage, it allows chronic al-alcoholics, drug addicts, and exploitation of women in the sex trades to thefts of copper and curbside recycling ccer, it funds at a time in budget crisis, and is typical san Francisco liberal garbage waste. It allows people to drink use and other wise steal and break the law with little to no consequences.
Lobbyism groups allow the same individuals to time and time again, break the law and have little to nil concqucnes. Brutal discipline, and law got me sober, You ever hear the saying “ You can’t help someone who doesn’t want to help him or herself”
People and Individuals need to be held accountable for their actions, and their effort. While also taking tone such well through actions for change on the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, and far too often even on the flip side of present individuals are hurt, and well intentioned change sometimes is led into persecution such as current immigration reform, 9-11, the patriot act, and reform needs to be brought with caution.

The country is lucky to have a place like san Francisco in the post-911 world, but individuals abuse well intentions, and makes it hard for people who want a change and the good due suffer for the evil, I strongly urge in whatever reform Mayor Gavin Newsom, and Governor Arnold chooses to do, procueed with caution.
History is a great way to change the present by learning mistakes of the past, to avoid making so in the future, I urge good balance and judgment of our elected officials serving the public. I urge individuals to choose the best where there can be freedom, liberty and justice for all. In trolley compassionate, non-judgmental, liberal, but maintaining balance, accountability, and protecting peoples civil liberties fair and balanced.
Something does need to be reformed in our country as a whole, but truth be told there is no easy answer to a complex problem.

However, we find the answers, I give you food for thought with peace, love and justice and the American way. It’s scary times right now and times are tough, be we have faith. I love this country the direction of loss of civil liberties.



--
Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

The Leap of Faith to the Unkown, Fear there of

5/6/08

As of recently I have new private blogs, and some off the internet and On a INTRANET of my choice and likeing. I also am dealing with some spirtualy tough times, but moving forward, Ive made and discussed a bit on how to deal with these issues.

I have a few folks and co-depeants in my life, I have issues to deal with and some abusers, I called a womens hate crime rape place yesterday. I dont have any tollerance for sex workers, transgender whores, or folks that use that dont repsect me, or folks that dont respect my bounderies and respect my life.

I also have more of what I need to work on with me, and know more about myself, and who and wha I nned as an indivual.

I also have a replacement phone has been giving my problems. I took care of some matters today as well, I also have more to do for myself, and program and some personal, educational, employment, finacal goals, and my transitin and some civil matters.

--
Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Life and finding the lost strange little girl moving closer to the Bay

01/30/08

I slept good last night at the shelter, the movie filming about the Milk, and riots and start of the GLBT movement in San Francisco, CA in the late 1970s, I did some extra work for and casting maybe I can be on film and I have much to do for my life, future and family and love.

I talked to MLS and DLG, the nice guy whom I met at connect says my disibilliy could be reinstated, its amazing how laws, regulations vary from state to state. And things are working through the food stamp, and ga worker are reviewing the trust documents with their legal dept.

I have an idea on housing and planing where, to live, they have improved the bart service throughout the night, I have looked a little at parking contracts, lots, and truck storage, I also looked at taxes about 300, plus a drivers lic, fees, and the annual registration might be a little higher than in the lone star state.

My friend might bring some cute shoes tomorrow in 10s, and 11s we will see what we fits. I also got a case management at least temp right, now. And have a contact at city collage, I might be able to get a grant or loan, and go to school and get an A+ certification and study computer science and web design, graphic design, and web application design.

Thats My plan, a lot of the IT and computer company's will pay for SRS with their health plans, apple, IBM, semantic, and even some of the other company's which need engineers, and programmers, mainly women and minority groups (trans genders)

I am getting maimed more, and also folks are kind, and things are happening even slowly, the violence on the streets of San Francisco is rough, I am lasting the harsh winter, the lady who runs the shelter told me the city is keeping the winter shelter open until July which is at (worst case) when my Divisibility with back payment, and housing should fall in, when I will fly to Louisiana and drive my pick em truck back, and other affairs or get it trucked here.

Today I had coffee, sourdough, danish s, an Asian salad, and lots of water, and took a shower at the Trans gender drop in center. Got a therapist, and called my sponsor, and touched base. I also am upcoming in 7 months, sober. And Ive reached a point where the smells, memories, flashbacks, and honesty and caring and passive but firm and assertive and self-aware and accepting is well odd and obscure.

Last night at the Trans gender support meeting and the clinic, I had some Chinese food donated from Chinatown, given a lot of the Trans gender community is Asian here, and funded by the Asian community and other groups no surprise we eat healthy.

I have someone in my life that doesn't have what I have and is a little abusive, but more so. It saddens me to see all these fucked up cracked up, doped up, hopeless, transgender folk. Those who quit caring, the homeless who gave up, the godless, and where I might be now. It humbles you in sobriety but I cant force anyone to want to change or desire to change they have to make that in their heart, and want to change.

My father upon after my arrival was his usual self, denial we had some nasty words, hang up and a lot of yelling. And hes nasty, hes never been there for me (partly for my mothers doing) I don't think he ever wanted kids, or family, or much else. I think he remarried some young Russian gal who needed to become an American, does the whole perfect guy thing wife, kid, maybe he keeps a old photo of me for his lies.

I think he still goes to the ballparks, maybe the OTB, or has some vices even if he sobered up, Hes nothing more than a sperm donor to my mother, he also during some of our heated arguments while in Texas, told me he contacted The Berkeley Police dept, UC Berkeley police dept and had is two friends which are retired FBI agents, if anything ever happens to him he goes missing, he gets hit by a car, falls of a bart platform. I'm going to be the prime suspect, and because his friends are EX-FBI I will never smell the end, of being detaining questioned, searched and Ill have my ass shipped to san quieten.

My father is a jerk, a lier, and thinks not much of me, and wants me to finish what I started here and told me to get the fuck out the bay area. My dad is not any different than O.J. Simpson, a lier, womanizer, con-artist, and dishonest as all 12-steppers are cunts, bitches, and well just selfish. I hope I can make my father pound just as my grandmother, at least my father does call me his daughter.

It would not surprise me if he had a Vasectomy preformed, not to repeat prior (mistakes) anyway the therapist does group and individual therapy here and I might invite (MLS) and offer to let my father attend some sessions, even though I am prepared he wont show up,I think he would be a lier, manipulative, cheat, and bullshit.

I spoke to my sponsor, today and talked to her about some personal, issues, relationships, doubts, and life, love, and fear of the unknown. Monday they have a dinner for us TG folk should be fun, and next Friday is my appointment with my therapist in the Castro which should prove uplifting.

The tigers at the San Francisco zoo, should be released after the security improvements to the tiger and lions. It amazes me they allowed such a open area, the Houston zoo, had more security improvements.

I researched my other options and issues. I talked to Morris with the advocacy office and wanted information about my time spent for my misdo minders, the SFPD Trans gender liaison officer, is doing a class on laws, trans gendered, encounters with the police, and a self defense class should prove interesting.

I might also long term have a lead on an apartment in Oakland, not far from MLS and also from a friend I have that lives out that way a bit. I researched a bit, on bart, on the way to the Oakland wal-mart once where I was going to transfer to many eons ago in a past life.

I also spoke to Nancy B and Carter a bit friends of Bill W, and keeping things going into progress and enlightenment. I see folks with no hope, drive or whatever, it saddens me with the tools here how many TG folk go into prostitution, get HIV+ and do other nasty things, and just abuse them selves, some I feel should not transition have further issues. I became self aware, and accepting at the cost to my personal life, finical security, collage grant, friendships, loved ones, and the Houston TG community and GLBT community as a whole. Fucking up my life.

I sadly even though the severity out here Miss Houston, friends, places, loved ones, those who care, and well yada yada yada.

I met a girl who reminded me of my former neighbor whom I bitched about often, who even though she was wrong sometimes, and used me. (I know I'm a sucker) I saw a young version of her, an exact fucking twin I kid you not. Balh.

I also met twins of various bartenders, sponsors, friends of bill w, lambda center, and other folks I encountered during my path to self-awareness and enlightenment.

I met twins to others and women form Lamba center, Men from Lamba center, met someone at the marina dock, and alano club who has ties to Houston and knows Lamba Center and The Post Oak Club. Wow small world fist meeting at the marina dock, and I run into a meeting where the topic, story and speaker brings up Space City wow, small world on big family of friends of Bill W.

One of the guys who assaulted me had ties to Houston, it goes on and on. I am enjoying the filming of milk and the riots and start of the GLBT movement while keeping my appointments this week, next week and to infinity and beyond, with kindness, charity and life and love I grow to my true inner self, turn the bitch switch off and find inner peace, joy, love, my true self and enlightenment and most of all Happiness and Zen.

The birds here are huge the seagulls, and the pigeons are out of control, its illegal to feed the pigeons in San Francisco, in fact doing such is a Class C Midomonier or ticket misdemeanor with the city of san Francisco penal code.

Its important to notate I will get a back payment, and other issues and affairs I am dealing with while becoming established with the new me, and gaining control of the inner bitch and true self, and the lost strange little girl trapped inside my soul, lost at sea slowly becoming more and more at peace with my self.

--
Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 66471
Houston, Texas 77266-6471
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)