Enforcer of the night, goddess of Houston Texas The Dark Angel of space city rides off in her lone ranger into the sunset
I hurt knowing in Less than a month the time of action, reaction and choice sets in as the day draws closer to god, faith and some powers at be someplace, somewhere. I hurt knowing my right and wrong what is right and whats not.
I am having flashbacks of myself, the past, present and future. Possibly Houston despite the painful memory's and choices will work. Or can work if I work it. The life might be ok, someplace in a god or I prefer a goddess or some temple, faith and fate will kick into interpersonal growth and self discovery, love and self acceptance within myself, life, love and start to live again not exist.
The growth of my life myself god and a higher priest and or priestess, some power, someplace some where It continues to grow, bleed,l scream and discover. I know I am alive, but I Feel dead inside, my bag of bones, I slash down and bash my brains on the ground, But sober I shall, into Hell, or heaven only a god of my understanding shall tell.
I hurt knowing how bad I once was, the power of ego, lack of self-will and pity party, and boozing my way through medication, death, birth, and pondering into the future, not reliving the past I am gone, gone with the wind, the blood of my heart, mind, body and soul bleeds into the cesspool long gone and forgotten of the streets of Texas, Houston, and Harris county, the barker cypress and addicts reservoir I drown, the sam Houston toll way I smash into shame, forgotten who is to blame?
Do I really live, I don't feel alive in side, My colt 45 trembling at my side, I honk and reload and shoot the foe, of the past, present and future only to be lost by a pack of wolfs and wild creatures, off road, on the road and on and off. I stray around the interstate, us highway, farm to market roads, state highways, local roads, county roads, brown fields, oil derelicts, rednecks, yuppies, law men and women, Texas rangers.
On the seat of my Lone Ford Texas Ranger, I lie, The AK 47 by my side, the pipe bomb of narcissism dead by the hide, or cattle, the lonely gunshot that rattles. The single shot of faith the leap without bound and enlightenment the termination, and failures lie before me the girl who never was sleeps tight with the single shot she bites.
She cries at night with the 9mm by her head praying for life, and to be alive in her mind, body, soul and passion, she try to bring the courage into life and fashion. To hold on she must, to ride off into the sunset she shall, the lone ranger all jacked up she rides, in her 4x4 she goes west as she shall, interstate 10 westbound, up interstate 5 she rides the lone ranger into the sunset the fx4 emblems glistening under the full moon, like a werewolf she thrives off conversion, blood gets spattered lesbian bonnie and lee she shall, with the dog behind them she rides firearms by her and her companion she rides.
The vampire in her sucks the energy out of those she encounter, they abolish her, to all she encounters, she seeks revenge in her narc ism and ego and greed, its all about her not be. So she slaughters males, cops, people who care, she only is about her, and has a thin hair trigger, shooting left and right through being a terrorist, she slaughter with the pen not the sword. The death, body count and terrorist she leaves behind.
She slaughters her abusers, rapists, priests, sisters, and others like her. She makes poor on her word due to being a coward and greedy, a lier, narcissist, poet, and mind over matter, she has a spiritual hair trigger her AK47 of a mouth is the reason, that death is in the season in the air tonight, looking for her next victim at night, living and lieing, though terrorism, break a leg here and there, fire a gun or fireworks off in the air.
Break here and there, launder some money, take care of a person there, Red rum this, abuse that, beat the shit and get the truth out of the enjoyment of torturing others, and scaring the shit out of others as well. She might as well be in hell. She cant live with the faith and the bad girl thing does not cut it anymore, lieing down she pulls her kit and prepares to die on the floor, the pump action shotgun is not needed but she wants it is the season.
Maybe she committed some terrorism crimes, maybe it is all left behind. Maybe she shot the glass, at those in her past, framed those rice round and round, firing all around. The stick of TNT left in spite she gives a evil terroristic grin into the light. Left in the air tonight, she shoots all in spite, for it is the season, round em up and kill them for the reason.
She slashes a wrist there, cuts one on a nasty toilet on a forklift there, minuipltes this one there, and leaves that redneck out in the cold in disport, hatch this hatchet that, kill that one and don't do that.
She is a Texan by the oracle, of stupidity, so she shall get her 15 minutes of shame for the world is not to blame but the bitterness inside, she kills all at her side, for no other reason than the enjoyment of power, privilege, fear in the hearts of men, who abused her and she abused her self and did not listen. She is a vampire and helps terrorize others on the street, living out of a suitcase, boxes, and a truck on occasion, luxury hotels, and motels and rv parks, and army and police surplus shops are in season.
Gun depot, mom and pop she rides in stride, just put the bottle down for good this time, now fast aproching 5 to 6 months sober a choice now must be made in stride to keep leaping from life to life trying to fix what once went wrong, or keep going along in space city or the bayou city. Or shoot em up and fire up her pick em' truck and shoot across the open highway for a road trip with god as her god, savior and co-pilot along for the ride, keep shooting side to side.
The bitch and redneck and fucking attention whore is gone inside, she rides with her switchblade, and baseball bat at her side, and occasionally a 38 by her side, she wonders if she can ever live again. Or die trying or hop a train , or a amtrack, or maybe a greyhound or go back to hired help, putting fear and intimidation in the minds of men, her social path does not need to begin again.
Help is what she seeks, the holidays suck, she does not like the slut next door, whoring around left to right, she has more self will and pride than that, mind over matter, and damn sure her scams, and cons don't work, but she does and works hard, just lost the integrity in it all.
She is a selfish power, bitch the switch is off and that is agony, sometimes victor, henry, john, Enrique, james, Almaden, carl hurt the most. Her racism, and haltered and stereotypes of blacks, Mexicans, and inter racial is by what they did to her, long ago at west Jefferson high school the hurt her.
She views her self as a vampire, vigilante, Gothic, lesbian who hurts and brings fear power and control to the world, showing those who don't break the law, that they get her wish, as an enforcer here and there, while they honk she reloads destroying, all that oppose, with the pen not the sword she lies alive before to tell her story in a timeless fashion she is alive by gods passion.
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Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 66471
Houston, Texas 77266-6471
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
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