4/20/08

The reality of life and what I do, is more. The reality of myself, and who I am is what I know more. The reality is what I know and who I know, is what I feel. I discovered myself. And my chapter to my own awaking. I slept good, no plumbing problems this morning in the bathroom, I got opt late late night 9:30 ish, and awoke around 3:45 AM (PST) this morning and continue to the path to enlightenment and inner peace.

The reality is, I look foward to the future, I accepted defeat, that I cant change the past, or resentments about the past. I cant change resentments toward, Houston Area Community Services, The Houston Transgender Unity Community, Chirtsan Williams, (HACS / Transgender)Antique, Victor, Carl. John, James, Elmadean, Tina, Henry, (Wal-Mart 3296) i ALSO know I have to let go, and with working on my resenemtns and starting over with-out repeating prior transgressions, I tdcidded to cancel and rebook, my trip ot phonix for the poruopse of transporting my truck and little proepty seince I purged and walked away.

Many years later, I shallk return to houston to make ammends, but First I must get some managaabilly in my life once again. I had a wondeerful womens meeting, our lady of safe way might get swapped for the Alano Club or The marinia Dock again.

I am unsure as to what I might do, but one day ata time, progress not prefection I make peace withmyself and chapter to my own gnositism.

4/21/2008

In other news, today I ate ok, some (gasp) fish even though vegan, to keep the bitch swithc off I shall, I further progressed and got my health back I have not been eating well sometimes doing a day or two with only a begal for lunch or so, and drinking to much coffee or to little water of fluids.

I supposed I am depressed, and stressed, but still sober. Today was ok as far as producativitey but semi lazy, I ahng out at the center a bit and took care of some leagl forms, and fincial ammends to people places and things in texas. I also found out someone I know from my party days is back in conty and going to huntsville on a 3^rd strike for numrouis felonys.

I also found out more, about past things, and was a bit busy-body as I am very good at doing. I ate ok, rested, and took care of life. I further progressed into peace. I talked to ray, and thanked him, and asked for his plans of 50 years sober the golden soberity. I e-mailed ben some things.

I talked to danille a bit, and moved on but I have been being alone latey, Pushing folks away not calling, I think I found a sponsor that works for me, and I can be totally honest with. I also have a new crush to speak of, that I like, and I contunie further into enlighemnt even if at my nown scoail life a bit down, and mellowing out, and becomijgn less self-centered, needly and busy bodyish.

I love life, I just am leanening to live again, I had a salad recently and also saw another fucked up cracked out transtgender whom “knows me” I dont know you well, I dont asscoaite with people who drink use drugs or at least make a honest effort to stop. Its not my problem.

Maybe sometimes I am a cold-hearted bitch, but at least I admit my faults and admit my fact, and views are not mainstream GLBT or Transgender, or women or my LDS (former) faith.

4/22/08

TODAY went to our lady of safe way MB was disruptive, and carried a “CLUB” into the AA meeting, I stood, up and called 911- at 7:30 AM this morning and SFPD arrived at 8:15 way after the meeting, I am tired of not being safe this week, I have been bothered I hate when drunks hit on me, grope me or otherwise don't make me feel safe inside the church which I attended meetings, I saw Ben is morning who is going to Houston for a conference, which I told to say hi to old friends, and aqauinaces, and gave him some resources to use.

In other news, I slept well had a wonderful shower, yesterday was somewhat productive, I am planning my trip amongst other factors, I also have to pick up my MUNI fastness soon as well. And have much to do, I checked mail some of the Trucks Tax documents were enclosed.

I understand moving, and geographics is stressful for sobriety, but I understood, like hell as selfish and cold hoarded and even as MB was this morning, that could be me, and furthermore I have no Hard feelings toward my biggest resentment myself, but To be damned if I admit defeat to those I associate ith me becoming a drunk.

I am acoutnbale for how I deal with it the meeting is deviled with this. I am tried of MB coming to the meetings drunk with booze in the back pocket, why the fuck should I change where I go to meetings, the next step is to contact the church administration about my concerns, I am not going to let this go. Just as I was in the past, I now am put in a simaulr suituion. I go there to be safe, and sober, and around someone who day after day, drinks, uses, bums coffee and gets out the cold, to use over and over again, AA isn't really the place, county jail or a detox, is the place. And yes I am afraid and no I will not sit idle, that's how I rashionaled my drinking, acts of violence, and other affairs.

You cant help someone that doesn't want it, but you can send them to jail, maybe they will have their moment of calory maybe not, I am powerless over someone's choice not to be sober, but if My safety and sobeeeirty and someone armed with a potetnional deadly weapon and drinking, needs to stop, I will take this where ever it needs to go, how ever far it goes. I don't have a problem, with MB I have a problem with Mbs actions, and behaviors, much as others did with me.

The irony, I'm going to stop my eating disorder thing, take better care of myself. And move forward. I need another meeting, because my meeting is bound by threats of valiance; that stupid far left liberals, try to forgive, why the fuck should I by cookies out of the goodness of my ehart to slow chronic active drug users and drugs to sit in a meeting, that obviously daunt want to change they want coffee, shelter from the cold, and food and go back out again, fuck that shit, Id rather maybe a moment t of sober and reality in jail would give them desire to stop. Maybe getting beat up by law enforcement would help.

It worked in my case, I realized I wore out my welcome and moved forward. Maybe others need a moment of clarity as well.

In any matter a huge vegan lunch nis ion order, I have some banking and other forms to print later at the center, I have a appointment with some civil legal matters and move on with my life, plus soon a trip to the DPS office is in order. Caio.

--
Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

4/12/08

The reality of myself, I picked more about my soul and inner peace. I picked up new maps, took care of a few legal, banking and matters for the summer session at collage. I hurt badly, My body does ache, its bloody hot today.

I also took a trip and pondered a few other things, I feel like life is well a mixed bag of sorts inbetween up and down. I know what I want out off life, and in typical lee mannerism I will go to any matter or means to achive it all or nothing sort of like vegas baby.

Spoke to FN today about life CP did not sell the house in Cypress recently and more

--
Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Sunday, February 17, 2008

The reality of life is not what you do, but what you don't do and who you are and true to yourself. The discovery of my own flaws, and defects and crimes against myself and humanity and having more compassion and allowing myself to higher standards not biblical but not thinking I am better than you or the next person, but desiring better and progress

The chapter to my own personal discovery and chapter to my gnostic and personal spirituality, individuality, overcoming my Trans-phobia, and allowing my inner child to grow without vokkia, beer, or wine or smokes is a desire in it self.

Meetings life to life, day to day, desire to progress, to change and positive optimism, and not draining like the vampire defect and personality I have but need to remove and change, the saying old habits die hard is true but the desire to change is change in self, mongering of your progress and achieving enlightenment zen, and life in it self beyond drinking, resentment, and relapse and insanity is a growth in it self.

Being progress but not refection and choosing the right, even when its hard, which I made, being a humble servant and the daughter of the goddess of my understanding, I proceed out of the deep dark tunnel that you know you have been down and where it leads, and choosing life, enlightenment, faith, chance and facing your fear.

I know I made the right choice, and what is done is done, and I am alive, and the weather is beautiful and progress is happening, I just must remain disciplined, faithful and choose life, and do the right thing, and remain focused and sober.

Laundry got done, took care of some other applications, post office is the plan on Tuesday, finance later, and church didn't happen maybe I need a meeting more and I must remain focused like the inner child, Capricorn border lining on Aquarius.

I will soon be able to fire up my pickup truck and let 298 HP ROAM WITH MY 4 WHEEL Drive tailgate into a garage I found a better deal and look often and not at plans when things come through which they are. I also have a new doctor to continue to prescribe my HRT and joined a outpatient treatment for folks who are sober, and thats good and catered toward my needs.

I found new more desirable housing in a womans shelter that is appealing, ran into a few friends, and some cute dyke's and soft studs hang out there. It hurts to see folks who gave up on hope, and life and fucked up trans genders. Oddly enough in a meeting yesterday we had to close the window due to pot mixed with crack blowing into a 12-step meeting and progress and enlightenment was archived slowly, only in San Francisco does that happen.

I also will get a meeting today, and found a closer borders to get my map of san Francisco, I also might go visit my friend again that lives out in piedmont but wont show up at MLS without calling. And have seen the Mormon temple in Oakland amongst other factors.

I compose this with hope, luck, and faith of a god, godless and my guardian angel of enlightenment, faith and a better life while in youth and progress, doing, not bitching, or suicide bull shit cry s for help, I live and have life, and feel alive, maybe I was uncertain, maybe it was the off levels of my hormones and other factors, but its happening, and I admit I am afraid, of relapse, death and being hurt or going back out at repeating prior transgressions, so I get my cute little vegan ass to a meeting every day, to practice progress, life, and the god of my understanding with other assholes, crackpots, fallen women, and drunks and those insane alike to keep coming back knowing it does work even if other don't.

And knowing my sponsor cares, and love me and I learned I have to put myself first, I have someone I like but she smokes, pot, bitches and has an abusive friend. And fell to the stupidity of san Francisco dark side, lucky for me I had a true friend whom I missed her call and hope she is Keeping up on my blog from the cab of her 2007 Freighter sleeper wherever her owner operate status keeps and and she doesn't jack-knife again.

I also love my family,f friends, friends of Bill W, people who cared, and acquaintance, those I need to make amends to, those who hurt me, and the power of forgiveness, faith and a better understanding of myself and the way the world really works both from San Francisco, to Oakland, To Berkeley, to New Orleans, to Harvey, Austin, Dallas, and the Lone Star Sate truck stops, the INTERNET, global and around the world and my loyal blog readers I wish others the best of luck and enlightenment.

--
Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 66471
Houston, Texas 77266-6471
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)

Life soberity, and progress

02/07/08

Today was nor Hit nor miss, the reality of my own insanity and chapter to my gnostic, I made some progress, I made some progress with the postal issue, mailing some documents and tasks for the week and weekend I also discovered more about life myself and my own program and self discovery.

Watched a documentary today on history of the aids virus and outcome. I also discovered some folks, myself and family members and more flashbacks. And understand what its like to remember and in resentment.

Ive been having flashbacks to myself, childhood and also hurting off and on my life

02/08/08

Some bitch is bothering me I have a stalker in SFO. Darn it not the fuck again, but I delt with it and let someone know, I think she is harmless just some pot head, who is obsessed with me, and that. Today on the way to the doctors appointment which I will not disclose the location and area due to my stalker doesn't know all of my hangouts and places.

Its a crazy X that we used to date (for a half a day than we broke up) who is a pot head and drinks and uses drugs. And is verbally abusive to me, and had kicked me and threatened me with harm, I'm going to discuss it with someone, and already did with another who is also trans gender but pretty abusive and arrgoient much as I used to be in Houston.

In other news, I had some guy hit on me again today on MUNI and say he dates Trans genders and wants to buy me a drink but doesn't know I'm clean and sober, sorry geezer, if I had a winning mega millions jackpot for every time this happened Id be rich.

I also saw on the news this morning they have a groper and MUNI assaults are up on women, I had been groped once or twice on a muni rail and bart, people are disgusting and rude, and have seen it before.

Shoes are on the agenda this weekend, Ive been able to cut down on my sweaters, and jackets and layer up a bit, due to the warmer weather except in the early morning. I saw another SUV with Utah Tags yesterday, and today saw a crossover awd from Montana, and also saw a f-350 with Texas truck on it.

Have an appointment with my threpsit who is also transgender and transitioned today, its a 1^st appointment with her and I think It might work out much as Melanie Morrison at MCC.

I also talked to a few other folks and next week have a appointment with one of the area collages Transgender Leiason Officer, ive thought subsatnce abuse conucling isnt for me. I want something rolling in the cash and I am still young enough to go to collage a Computer science at a 2 year collage and than a 4 year collage seems appealing or computer information systems and maybe an A+ cert, I want something at home quit and predictable where I can telecommute and write code at my space, maybe even work late at night.

Google and some other tech comp nays are expanding into the bay area for diversity in hireling, apple etc also, Had a retail interview recently, and also applied for a few other places ( I have a stalker that reads my log until some things change and I don't have to be around this person as much, and at which time I will seek legal action with the police. Which I spoke to a friend who's nice the GLBT folks shes a nice officer that helped me out when someone was bothering me, before and shes friends with a friend of mine.

--
Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 66471
Houston, Texas 77266-6471
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)

being humble friend of bill wilson long before ZI quit drinking, and lieing to myself

02/03/08

The Insanity of being sick and tired of being sick and tired.

A Look at myself, and the inner bitch of Lee and the Insanity of Being a Friend of Bill Wilson, before I started drinking, A personal self-discovery.

I was a friend of Bill Wilson long before I started drinking, I was insane. I did insane things, I lied, cheated and hurt others my way though my life upon my relocation to Houston I went nuts, Overloaded with pressure from religion, abuse, and my own trans-phobia.

I don't like the fact others where rightfully afraid of me, I had to leave raise the bottom and hope for a better life, otherwise I might have gone back out, back to county jail or state/ fed rial prison. I am deeply sorry for what I did to the local Trans gender and GLBT community as a whole.

But people change and move, on I needed a frest start. I am afraid but more humble from choosing life, and not existing, I raised the bottom to collect life, and build a future. I had chance and chances again. And I blew it, people cared, people still cared, but I could not go on. I go on here afraid day to day living in uncertain times, my bones,hand, and back hurting from bad choices, abuse unreported or afraid to be reported or when I reported it no record of service and being hit or having my ass kicked by law enforcement by choice.

I am tired of being sick and tired, I am tired of it. I see folks here messed up on the drink, drug or instance mentally. I see folks banished from trans gender groups, meetings for reasons or causes prior. I don't want it anymore.

I would rather be “L” (HALT) [Hungry, angry, tried,lonely] Lonely being quality vs quantity and not lowering my standards, I had a lot of the bill Wilson insanity, and I got drunk the first time in my life out of resentment for not listing to folks who cared in the Houston TG meetings and further down hill from there, I survived un-reported suicide attempts, abuse, risks, auto accidents, and abusive sexual relationships.

I did this to me, and pay the price. My bones chill in San Francisco,CA due to the cold winter my bad back and hand and other poor choices. I now live day to day being humble as a servant to myself, and my inner bitch hoping to repair the damage to my life, what I did, and not resentment. I have a fresh start and I am using it wisely.

I miss my friends, items, truck, and all who gave up. I wish I had listened, and I was wrong, but Now I am doing the right thing being humble, and starting over from not much else but having more than I should in gratitude, I had to do what was right for me and walkway.

Life sucks, and what I did was insanely wrong, and someone else did what I used it. I don't have control over the folks who abuse the system here, and make it hard for folks who need help, those who get SSDI or SSI and stay in shelters so they can use drugs, and party, those who stay in shelters and Have jobs etc.

Its wrong, but I admitted defeat for my soul and inner child. And hope one day when I have my life together I can visit, and be welcomed to those I harmed and scared away from me with my Lies, dishonesty and self-destructive actions.

--
Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 66471
Houston, Texas 77266-6471
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)

Life and the prusuit of hapyness and zen in (SFO)

01/29/08

I took some photos this morning, I am looking ok. It hurts so bad, today at the food stamp, and ga office and being unable to reach the disibilliy advcay group today. Its burr cold, I appricate sweaters and mittens and gloves. I need to go shoe shopping soon for something new, I also spoke to the grandmother and uncle today.

The trust and realtes items, are hurting more and more and again keeping me from getting help and services. I also my grnadmother today, told me I chose this thats wrong, I came here for help, to start over someplace less transphobic, and somepalce safe where I can use the bathroom most of my speeding tickets in houston were from being unable to use the proper restroom.

I took some photos today, this morning at the womens shelter and also met some but not much transphobia when I go out for services, I have had other lesbian ggs hit on me, blah. Im hurting, my back hurts, maybe its the hrt why I am so utterly depressed and the remnats of the cold, flu / food posioning or whatever.

Im tired of hruiting and dont want to drink or use, Im sick of it, today in front of the food stamp office I saw a drug deal go down, and someone using. I wish folks could have what I have, met someone who has 6 months and is 3 days away from my 07/13/2007

I got a bit done its rough here, talked to my aunt a bit. Im all alone it feels sometimes good thing about the tg group and clinic tonight, maybe Ill feel better out the cold.

I went to the soup kichen today and had 3 bowls of soup, 2 plates of salad, and 4 oranages, and a few slices of sourdough.

Its better than the usual shit hole, the only thing is this kitchen is and service place is pretty transphiboic, on some of the eveents it says its restricted to “genetic” women or women born women.

The LDS phrofit died, the 13^th in the history of the church, I wonder if Tohmas S Monson will repalce such, I think some of the church leadership accepts us or is devied amongst its own transphobia just as with blacks with the preisthood.

--
Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 66471
Houston, Texas 77266-6471
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)

Today visted the monks corner cafe and wireless amuseing down the street from the last concert cafe. http://www.monkscorner.net/ a buddist hippie spot.

Intresting obscure and odd and well weird. I want to be pretty, being ugly and agron and hurting and fear of being lost into the gutter slime and poverty and left for trash in the big city scares me dearly. I fear being alone lost and left in the cesspoll of montrose, east end or the hoods and slums of houston. soberity is above all , number to is transiton, three is going back to work and school.

I want to be a pretty sexy girl, this agro stuff, I hate myself I am sad ofen due to this. I will post a review to this new estbalshment here soon enough to grow live and prosper in houston, texas--
Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 66471
Houston, Texas 77266-6471
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)

being greatful today

11/22/07

what I am greatful for:

Being 4 months sober before “drinking season”

having a wonderful sponsor who is tough as nails

letting go of resenements

the fog lifting

Reality setting in

Being sober day

Being alive

having people who care

being able to admit and seek help and start being honest

working the coffee bar at the roundup closinbg sat and sun nights and the lamba center

--
Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 66471
Houston, Texas 77266-6471
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)

life

11/21/07

My life and feelings of depression and utter pain have grown more and more, the pain of being someone I am not living a lie, the bullshit, lies and drinking my way to zen. The nasty horrible things, I hurt to turn over to a god, there is no god. Why would god put me through this, why would I suffer. Not for pity, why would god have me born wrong, I accept it but don't accept the crap I did, I hurt every day for sins I committed, I chose to try and find peace again. I don't know why, I did these things. Today at the post office some of the documents I ordered showed up. Flashbacks of dreams and other things bad choices and nasty things I did to others are coming back more and more. I am remembering more and more and wrongs I committed to others and myself and bad things I did.

Its hard to forgive myself, some days I want to crawl in a hole to hie and die, I suffer so badly for nasty things I did, I want to run so far away, the blackouts, bad choices, and sins against other glbt folks and transgenders are utter poison and agony, the utter clarity is horrid. But I chose to get better or go camping and alas never return. Jumping ship from Houston to root elsewhere is not unrealistic or impossible, but I don't feel a need to broadcast it when I do,I know when the time will show up.

The holidays suck to be alone, single, and at odd and at a crossroads. The life I lived, bad choices I made I am angry at myself, and the pain. But I move on. I don't know where I will go but I am grateful to be sober, even sitting here at the coffee shop at Catlaina next to the dark horse tarven another place is painful and utter agony but I make it.

I know I am alive because someone maybe my mom, god or some goddess kept me alive, I should be shot many times dead, blacked out or overdosed in my apartment, I have clarity and want life to feel the lost self inside and I struggle to rediscover my old self, accept it again and live it. Sometimes I feel the agony is I lost is she died, and I die sober but that is not a option and unacceptable.

I know I will accept myself and love myself and move on away from the lone star state, (and the beer) also when the time is right, I will know and take action into doing and be.

Today the letter showed up, I went to the zoo, and I ate breakfast with my sponsor quavos rancheros was fucking awesome today, and ironically enough I saw someone else with a car just like hers younger and with the two stickers on the back as well.

I had someone offer me a drink today and I promptly and proudly refused, I also had someone sexually make pass at me in a crude and nasty way and told them where to go, (hell) but in a niced matter.

Blah Live in the moment, and not the dream or bullshit.I am grateful for being alive, having a wonderful sponsor and being in the moment, also the letter came today for the paperwork I need for the gold card and mostly filled out thats my task on Friday and get to shock my wonderful therapist (unless she checks my blog) this weekend with the awesome news,

I am afraid of rejection but hope things work out as I deep down know they will, I want help and am going to any heights to get it. I slept good last night asleept before 9PM and awoke at 5am back in bed and struggled after not sleeping for 2 days and have to set up and get the paperwork for the roundup this week

Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 66471
Houston, Texas 77266-6471
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)

my life and day and disgust with the estblashments

11/14/07

Awoke early this morning after not much sleep after leavening Hollywood late last night, went over to the center to be rejected, and to be well put down poorly. And I canceled my appointment later, and I later squeezed in and told melaine the bad news, made the 12:15 meeting at 12:45 after making the 6:30 am meeting and picking up my 4 month chip, and I made it to the mhmra center at 7:45 only to be rejected.

Its fucking disgusting this country land of the free, land of equity and equal rights and home of the brave, and we have grown so lazy, dis-hearted and lost all compassion You can get help if you keep popping out kids, and cost tax payers more and more money. But joe or jill smhoe the avrgae joe cant get a damn bit of help and compassion.

Our health care system, social service system is disgusting even in Texas it is more acquainted the building is located in a school much reminded me of woodland west elm entry back home a old school built in the 60s or 70s and many extension cords and old doors and cinder block walls. Back when schools toward the end of the cold war were also built as fallout shelters.

If I go on a rampage and kill a bunch of people ( I'm not going to just a manner of expression) people will say why didn't she get help? The signs are there, its easer to do crazy anddo that fall into the trash on the street. And in a related matter I came in there, a guy on parole who just got out of prison dint have any papers was told to go there down the road from the parole office only to be butt fucked and told to have bills 60 days like a fucking computer the damn numbers you punch when you call your outsourced tech support company you cant get though the red tape.

Texas is acquainted and the jail bond failed for the new inmate processioning center in Harris county due to blacks are fed up, lib rials are fed up with the acquainted system, it needs change for minor groups and GLBT folks and trans genders. Its set up to fuck you, well fuck the lone star state. And Texas pride and other hogwash.

I would rather live in fucking a shit-hole hotel in the bay area and struggle to be treated with dignity, and equity I have matters to archive here and goals, which I plan to carry out, but the lone star state one day will look like a lone star in a galaxy far, far, away.

You wonder why we have high profile people that snap in Harris county and The 7 County metro area , Andria yates, Clara Harris, and the list to go on for eons. I made bad choices, and make living amends and respect the boundaries given I broke them and poor choices, I want help went to get help. Now I must try to cut through red tape to get the GOLD card, maybe Ill be in the fucking golden years before that happens, after wastering a day doing nothing and waiting and waiting. Only to be fucked out of my time.

*I have to take my truck to the shop to get some minor repairs I havent waxed or washed it in a about a week or two and I have this black soot on it, the emissions here make us sick, we are the cancer captiol of the lone star state, smog and other things, the roads are falling apart from the infucx of katrina evacs.

The traffic is getting worse, and we stand long and proud the laughing stock of Austin. Vote kinky dammit we need a honest Texan for a change, kinky is conservative pro glbt equity, anti state sponsored religion, and librial enough to care, and the common man and Texan not to be in the deep pockets of the establishments of oil cos, and more for new roads, rather than the toll road deal. Kinky is my Canada and a true ind pedant not the flip flopping grandma.

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Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 66471
Houston, Texas 77266-6471
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)