I have some unpleasent tasks to do later today, and do not wish to do them, but I will, I have other tasks to do later, and at hand. I did not remeber how much pain, I caused others, and fear when I drink. I know I was wrong, and I know I am not any better than those who wronged me, I have to go to the atty later and take care of unpleasant tasks soon.
I also hope my friend is still sober, and others are as well. I feel badly for chewing someone out yesterday, and dealing with pain and a big disipointment yesterday, but I have laundry, and groups and homework to do tonight.
I also went running at 3am this morning, and stoped by my po box on the way home, more crap in the box, a large envlovpe full of more stuff to do.
this weekend, I think I might do some maintance in the carport, air filter service, maybe even take the dashboard apart to do some work and fix a rattle from the last time. and change a bulb as well.
A letter from a close friend and worker:
I hope you are going to meetings and finding some sense of serenity.
I have been changing some gears lately in my own life for my own health, well-being and welfare. Admittedly, I have been totally preoccupied with my own concerns right now. There are many pressing issues I must address. I wish things were simpler, but they are not right now. You need a strong sponsor. Someone you can respect and will listen to.
You may have already learned that sponsors can be extremely fallible (which I have certainly learned lately); and that putting all your eggs in one basket may lead to disaster. Often, it may be necessary for you to go by the seat of your pants when it comes to AA and meetings, etc. That is another reason it is a good idea to go to all kinds of meetings. For me it is totally necessary for my peace of mind. You are definitely narrowing the field of expertise if you don't.
I am grateful that I have gotten to know you and I certainly hope that you are and will experience all the benefits of contented sobriety. I wish I could communicate some of the benefits and rewards that I have gained, but right now I am still trying to put all the pieces of the puzzle back together the second time around. There are some scary changes that I am going through myself.
I'm sure we will cross paths somewhere soon, but in the mean time, please focus on developing more faith in your higher power. I am tired now and need to go to bed. Without knowing what I can offer, I will call you when I can, but with no guarantees right now.
--
Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 66471
Houston, Texas 77266-6471
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
Posts
