Freedom from bnondage, of self and progress not prefection

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Slept ok, last night. Went to The Emergency room, at San Francisco General Hospital last night due to more dizziness, cramps, and fatigue. Its odd. It might be also transition related, I have had the hiccuips also as well. I feel better this morning, I also feel some of the issues may be my body adjusting to changes.

I left the emergency room, in disgust. My blood pressure and salt levels feel a bit up to normal.

The also further more, my back started hurting, and I have had another health issue, a early bedtime, water, and rest today is on my own personal adgenda. I lost it, I need to stop pretending to friends, people in the program that life is ok, and manageable. I also should reach out to new-comers more, do my step work, and call sober people.

I think the reason, which is part of the problem I think to much, is I don’t want to let go, and get of the crazy bus. The MSPD is helping somewhat. I started running a bit, and went hiking part of yesterday. That’s one of the great things about San Francisco is the exercise opportunities.

E-mail drama
I also thought while browsing craigslist I found an interesting post with some search criteria, to someone I used to be friends with and close to, but lied to me, and also she sent me a reply
You are totally psycho, dude! And by the way, at least I'm not cowering and hiding myself away from the whole world, not dating, just because I've been hurt in my past relationships! At least I don't live ruled by my bitterness and residual pain. Whatever, asshole...leave me alone. I wish nothing to do with your kind!!




Here is my reply

At least be woman enough to use non-fake photos. I will be happy to leave you alone, personally I find Trans genders, and the GLBTQ community as a whole Disgusting with the exception of transgender men, queer women, and dykes, goths, punks, emo, and I just reinvented myself. and find 90% of transgender women I dislike and most dislike me. At least I don't scream at people, when our rights are infringed on, not every battle is worth fighting.

I would rather be alone and bitter my whole life than to be in a relationship that doesn't meet my utterly high standards. Pain is my pleasure, I let go of my pain, but you lied, and lie to people, those photos are not you. You should be woman enough to admit it.at least I don't sit in a closet all day, I am financially UN-co dependant, and take care of my own affairs, at least I am vegan, veg. at least I don't allow people like you to drain me as a vampire, we are so much alike its unreal, and we drive each other crazy, you just cant see it.


and Just for not dating, I have love interests in the East Bay. at least I'm not so chickenshit about Oakland, or Berkeley. At least I desire a good life, I am aware of my defects of ch rater, and I am working on them, at least I am.

"whatever, asshole...leave me alone. I wish nothing to do with your kind!!" at least I am sure in my sexual orientation and what I want out of life, I’d rather be strange and a asshole, and bitch, which I am very good at being, than to be co-dependant living in a closet in the hood'

The reason I reply ed, was due to my disgust and proof of you lying using other peoples photos. Have a good life, I wish nothing to do to you either, leave me alone as well. I have a life out site being TG and know what I am, and don't base my life in GLBQ issues, Mostly LQT issues. I also have a life in AA, and also in my church, and a few hobbits and trade groups. at least I am starting my life over and don't sleep till 10 or 11 everyday. and stat up till 3 playing play station games, and I know who I am.



Gratitude List
1.) Grateful of the weather ( I like the cold)
2.) Grateful for having a wonderful therapist and doctor
3.) Grateful I know who I am and what I want
4.) Grateful for knowing that I need to work my steps, call people, and work on gratitude
5.) Grateful for knowing I don’t need to bitch everyone out my life




This week I have an appointment at the doctor up near Piedmont, I also have a few other things to do this week, mail, documents, DMV and other issues. I also have to compose a few other documents. I am going to run a few other things given the sentsive nature of affairs and other matters.


I talked to DLG/PMG they left New Orleans for Abita Springs, and did not go to AL, for pats sake. I also e-mailed MLS . BP and MS are well in Houston watching the storm.








--
Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
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