Sunday, August 10, 2008

Slept ok, rested well. My body is sore and I am very tired. My back is hurting as are my boobs. I have a minor flu. Per say.
Going Camping to a remote wilderness where I can return my body and soul to nature, is becoming more clear. I have some affairs to get in order. Soon, I did send a e-mail to a former friend whom I have deep resentments and told her some things.

My DL-328 goes through next week, I also need to update my will, and take care of some financial affairs, I also want my will to reflect some change in benefited from the present to go to christen Williams given my huge fear, shame and resentment.

I miss my mother and look forward toward joining her, maybe I wont feel so sad, and blue tomorrow, I went to a debtors anonymous meeting on Friday. I ate ok this morning; I might go to church or to a meeting in a little while. My sinus hurts badly as well.

I talked to my grandmother told her I loved her as my sponsor suggested, I also told her even though I feel like she doesn’t understand me, I know she loves me.

I lookfoward toward the celestial kingdom, the glory or wherever I go.


Anyway I much tasks to perform

Gratitude list
1.) My documents are almost finishes
2.) I am grateful I can admit I need to stop working my own program
3.) II am grateful I know need to write out my 4th step an diet the craziness over with
4.) I am grateful that I have 3 sober people to call every day
5.) I’m grateful to have folks whom love me
A letter to a friend (information removed to protect anonminity)



I was wrong in my transgressions, I committed against you during my days of drinking, I drank because I was afraid, I was angry at myself, I hurt and I was jellies of you, and others. I drank because I wanted to die, and was scared.
I left Houston gave away walked away from a lot. I realized I needed humility and gratitude; I left at very short notice. I left because I could not admit defeat; and poets and I was ashamed of past transgressions I committed against the Houston Transgender Community, I scared others and wanted others to suffer as I did.

I left because I needed gratitude. I want to return, I don’t like the ramped Drug use and drinking here and tolerance. But I have nothing to come home to. I can’t go to my family for my sanity. I am very pleased you achieved your goals. With the TG Center
Las t Summer (2007) when you reached out to me, I was afraid, I found the bar stool. Again. Very briefly. I am tired of suffering, my soul hurting. Maybe I needed to say I’m sorry and actually mean it, Maybe I would like your assistance in returning to Houston if I have a community and place to cove home to that’s safe and supportive.

I don’t want to be abusive to others, myself or even be self-destructing, I want help, and a chance of a life. I am asking you for a chance something that has taken a long time to do. I am very ashamed and scared of my past transgressions to various individuals known and unknown, I am tired of my lies, using individuals to achieve what I want. I don’t like it here, and don’t want to run away anymore.

I want to come home if I have someone to help me and come home to.

You attempted to be kind to me, and reach out well beyond you should have, I was mean and I also admit I was wrong.

I need it, help. In addition, I am willing to work with you,, I also trust you. Moreover, am willing to follow your guidelines.
IM tired of being sick and tired, and I don’t want to drink anymore, I’m just tired, I’m to the point to where I lookfowatrd to the other side.

I want recovery and sanity or I want death, I have some affairs to get in order, or I can return to my mother of nature. Alternatively, Houston and recovery.

Sobriety Date 7-13-2007


I look forward toward working together,



Leigh “LEE” McInnis Gaetjens




Furthermore I continue to feel not connected perhaps these feelings will pass and I will find the acceptance I am looking for further to the north, I also looked at opportunities with the present recession and poor economy in the City Of Angels, which in fact can be a lot like Houston.


As well as opportunities and preformed networking in the Big Apple. Despite the factor that California has better TG equity laws in the first place, but the price is paid for dearly.


California seems to be an interesting state for reform and how they deal with difference and change in old ways. San Francisco is a city of bums, lazy labial drunk drug addicts for the most part, or 6,7,8 figure gratuity students or independently wealthy.

California how change in ways and groups weather ethic, social, sexual oriental gender identity or other relies or protected groups. THE Silent decimation through lies, minulipoution and deception. The using


But I am gald to be here, I feel a bit better now that I had some hot and spicy soup, my
--
Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
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