Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Had a good meeting this morning, continued to grow, had a big scare left my purse and documents in the alano club, was able to regain access to the club. I also grew more for myself, and continue to grow.
The thought of going back to an ICE Deportation center scares the shit out of or being in a CCA facility. And in part the memorys I have are swiss cheased, I assume the individual I saw was not my father, as given his e-mail response, he does not want any contact with me, I suppose I will do that, and the feeling can be forever mutuial.
I also was able to recover the documents and other items. I suppose I got what I wanted freedom from bondage, and I make my own rules in the world we read about growing up from co-dependacy from as bill sees it medation book.
Furthermore, I contunie to grow again in mr the documents and other items. I suppose I got what I wanted freedom from bondage, and I make my own rules in the world we read about growing up from co-dependacy from as bill sees it medation book.

I left to texas to achive new things, cut old ties, humble myself and rasie the bottom. I hate being so much like my mother. I didn’t like my mother and how she carried her self. I resent her and well don’t have her to tell.

I also left Louisiana because I needed distance, I suppose as an outcast, I read in the bay times, and bay area reporter about another FTM podcaster whom and I share some polical views and did get to briefly meet at the Pride fest.

Prehaps the guy I met even though he had University ID was an admirer, maybe it could not hurt to get my foot in the door at UC Berkeley, in spsirt. He might have been in the CS or CIS department, networking for personal gain, professional gain, eudcatiuonal gain is allways good for me.

Anyway the blogger and podcaster and I were againt Gay marrage, per say he feels the GLBTQ community as awhole becmae run by rich white males, whom have their own agdneda. The fact is GLBTQ individuals are persucutired for not fiting gender and sexual orientat5ion steortypes, HRC has largely abandoned us, and I even have allowed my HRC memebership to expire in disgust at their dealings with EDNA.
He is againt prop 8 for the reasoning that we need equity for all, some of his wording and viewpoints I find disgustting such as quotes “some men have viganas, and some women have dicks” is a bit offencive, b ut so am I, and ppeople like him, bill o’reilly, michal salavge and howard stern and indivudals like Marvin Zinbdler and Ray Hill I like beucase they break norms in jourialsm for their virew points or the public good.I further continue to grow with more spirtuality for myself and grow as an individual into enlightment

Grattuide List
1.) Greatful for being able to have some fear and grattuide for finding someone and refraining from syaing something self-destrucive (90% of my trouble is from openoing my mouth, my blog, website, or not opening my mouth or spekaing up unill its to late)
2.) Greatful for being able to have a place to stay, safe
3.) Greatful to be able to boost self confiudance
4.) Greatful to ber able to start working on some finacnial goals
5.) Greatful to be able to work on other goals

Furthermore, I contunie to grow again in my program. I suppose I lost my father for good, and I have to accept that, Ill shove him aside in my virtual lockb

To do today
1.) Check post office box
2.) Mail Letters
3.) Do step work & call sposnor
4.) Eat, remember to HALT
5.) Take R&R





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Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
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