Picked up my voter registration conformation card today, it came via postal mail. In addition, I didn’t go postal.
I nodded off a bit at the meeting this morning, but am ok. I also have been having some spirituality and personal things I am working on and toward. I talked to MLS about how I am too hard on myself, if I ever become incapacitated due to injury or accident wishes, and asked if she would be sure that they would be carried out given she was a very close friend of my mothers, she was with me when I was born, she drove me to the hospital when I was born in Oakland in 1981.

Also she is lesbian and someone whom I have a connection with and community with and someone whom I feel would act on my wishes in the event and someone I could trust. Trust is an interesting topic per say, I need to give some to get some. I should be quiet and listen more, be in the moment, I discuses in therapy my co-depdancy issues. Called my sponsor and left my gratitude list, went to the 7am meeting at the alano club this morning again. I have been going there 2 or 3 days now. Moreover, I feel so much better going to the am meeting.

I am going to rest a bit before my Bart ride to the east bay later to take care of business. I did some Photoshop work for a client, and designed some flyers for the same client. I had someone check into my mothers background and things when my parents are / were fighting I maybe just need to know from an unbiased prospective, I will see what is dug up.

Yesterday with my photographic memory and OCD I freaked out a newcomer and someone else, who seemed a bit well coots. It is strange how we get together. I need to let go of my past bad deeds, and quiet relieving the past and focus on now, and the future. My program is crap, and I need to be more humble.

I still grave over someone I cared about, someone I felt I bonded with and was rejected, maybe not so much in anger but more so in love, caring, and a broken heart. I also saw someone today whom peaked my interest in curioousity.

Moreover, as of late I have discovered that I love someone or at least have an attraction to someone, but this someone is taken, and would be a bit forbidden and hugely unethical for them and me. Maybe its just a quiet fantasy and I need some time alone to ponder it.

Anyway I’ve been pretty ok in my productivity today as far as the in and outs are concerned, I ate a healthy lunch of fruit and veggies, and soup. Regardless I push myself pretty decently as far as life is concerned.

What I don’t like about San Francisco.
1.) I don’t like 90% of the Transgender / transsexual individuals here. Not having electrcisi is fucking nasty, some are borderline committable.
2.) I don’t like the ramped drug and drinking and panhandling, I think individuals should be held accountable for their actions and not felt sorry for or be supported in their addition or self-destruivitve habits with tax payer money.
3.) I don’t like the polical climate, I’m pretty liberal, but some ideas are insane’
4.) I don’t like all the bickering, gossip, and so much diversity feels a bit weird
5.) I have to readjust politically, economically, socially to make it

But not everything in life is fair the above list is by no means complete or understood, or finished it’s a life long process of making lists, and being sane, calm rational, HALT and taking care of yourself

Maybe I just need to find compromise and conncetion in the community
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Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
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