Saturday, August 16, 2008

Slept good for a few hours after the support meeting at the pacific center in Berkeley, V makes me a bit uncomtorbale its odd, I do like her as a friend and maybe something more she drew that boundaries last night, but I right now her reassurances are causing me more harm than good.
I also think tomorrow I might take a day of r&r and recoperat6ion for my health and rest, like real rest using one of my means on escape at least briefly. I saw someone I reconsider whom arrived a while ago, and is using drugs again, and drinking I can spot someone on something like that, it saddens me to see the massive addition and health issues.

I also like V the fact that one she was on the job, makes a difference with me, anyone whom has a job that services the public, protects lives and property, works in lobbyism, activism, or gives time and service has some extra bonus points if they are in that profession for noble reasons, and remain honest, loyal, committed and decade to servicing the public

I dreamed ok last night, it also saddens me two vets home from Iraq, are hurting, the unlisted states government is not always doing well by vets. It’s disgraceful for individuals whom chose to service their country whom have difficulty readjusting to civilian life. It thought hat post-traumatic stress disorder might me one of them, I saw bits of my really old self in a few of them.

It saddens me that people tolerate discrimination , but also its hard to turn the other way, from the blue wall of silence, to individuals whom bicker amongst themselves weight its gay men, to lesbians, to transgender women, transgender men, bi0sexuals, gender queers, or ethnic groups, religious beliefs, political subcultures’.

The reality is on Gender, Gender Indenity, and Sexual orientation discrimnation. That it is largely based on “serotypes” that the individual works in a profession, personality, appearance, polictal views, and how they do and what they do things. The reality is, that is how sexual orientation started, gay and queers were harassed for non-conforming. The GLB community as a whole has begun to be run by rich predominantly white males, whom want it as their community. They want the “T” taken out some of the lesbians are more supportive others alas are not.


As for prop 8 in California the ballot amended outlawing Gay Marriage, I was concerning voting against it given HRCs, and years of decimation in the GLB community as a whole, but I have started to lean toward abstaining on the vote, I don’t want to do anything to harm our community, but even if it could harm it by not voting, I may vote for other ballot measures but abstain on Prop 8 given my viewpoints.

I also this year allowed my HRC membership to expire out of disgust, but did not go protest the HRC dinner, lack of given, and also some reasons where current social economic reasons. Some of my viewpoints here express some of my consertive approach, but also liberal heart.

Some don’t like that I don’t follow the leaders, and the truth be told, I don’t dislike many individuals, I just am selective in whom I choose to associate with, recently I’ve had to cut some ties do to it being spiritually un-healthy friendships, and relationships.

Furthermore, I also express the desire to express myself, somewhat un-censored, but I’m becoming older, wiser and prefer to listen more. I need to find balance. The reality I am containing to grow spiritually and better my individual self.
The fact I don’t believe a lot of the far-left liberal garbage in California, but support liberal causes. But also think a lot of the GLBTQ community needs to remember their roots and treating us as 2nd class members, and always finishing last.

The reality of also the fact is hate is felled and many events go un-told, un-published, and victims give up in attempting justice, the decetewraring American economony, the poor minatance of our highways, roads, and mass transit, the high Entergy costs, increased consumer costs, and consumers struggling just to buy staple items shows the upcoming possible collapse of our economy. The reason this increase hate, and anger, is individuals have more free time on their hands, are more irritable when struggling to make ends meet. People do things when angry, under duress, or in situations like earthquakes, fires, floods, hurricanes, and wars.

We need change in America, I used to be very patriotic even long before 9-11, its part of why I always wanted to live in Texas before I came back to California, I also used to believe in equal rights and justice for all, and the American way. Now I becoming more and more disgusted to even be an American, if I had the opportunity to leave the country, or date someone aboard in a country that more repsenttied some of my librial values, yet was consertive enough for my views, I would walk away form American in a heartbeat.

Gatitude List

1.) Grateful that I have the ability to express my feelings
2.) Grateful that I people care about me
3.) Grateful to be around individuals whom have the type of life I want to live
4.) Grateful to have food, clothing and shelter
5.) Grateful to have family, friends whom I can count on




--
Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

No comments: