Tuesday, August 05, 2008

I love my father I had a lot of anger and resentment toward him, I have some dirty laundry I am cleaning now and in my best interests shall respect his wishes. I also have a few things to do, talked to someone else recently.

I have the pacific center on Friday. I have been going to the Alamo club more often, it’s a place to relax I need to listen more and be less domnatnating.

I am not angry at my father, just was tired of holding in years or resentments, I shall respect his wishes. I just want to feel loved, yet I push away those I loved. Perhaps I feel portrayed by parents, maybe I am angry. I suffer with clarity of my sobriety, I’ve had some memories from my early childhood of my parents fighting, my mother yelling at me.

I guess I really did ruin a realtshionip or a chance at it, perhaps if I work on myself, I can work on others I told my sponsor I don’t like to let things go, and use whatever means necessary to achieve my desire result, I have been doing better about walking away.

Not due to resentment, my spiritual experience recently. Shows what happens with resentment. I do not even bother to go to SFPD about my stalker or abuser due to the irony is I am not any better in those areas. I need to admit I am powerless and have ruined this for myself. Its best that I do what I need to do for me. Walk away.

I love my father I would never hurt him, he means a lot to me. I was angry about just the negativity, I was razed about him. I hurt and still feel like I am caught in the middle, when I speak highly of him PMG speaks other wise at a hobbible person he is, shes biased, and doesn’t want to admit it.




Hello Leigh,

I hope that this e-mail finds you well. My last communication to you indicated that I wished you good health, happiness and that you keep away from me, my friends and family.

Please discontinue contacting friends of mine. Pals of mine on Facebook have told me that you've been in touch.

Your history of instability, irrationality and violence are not welcome.

You've said far too many hurtful and threatening things to me and about me. Many of your allegations have absolutely no basis in truth.

I'm not saying that you're a bad person. I can't risk my health and recovery by having any contact with you. I will view future contact from you as harassment.

Martin Gaetjens








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Lee McInnis Gaetjens
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