Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Progress in San Francisco


Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Slept well last night, awoke this morning, Cleaned up, untagged my hair, and fixed it nice, I’ve been roughing it for a few days, I cleaned and groomed myself, have a few things to finish up tonight. Have some items to pick up at the drug store as well, bills to pay, duties.

Doing some step work with my sponsor this weekend, I also have some other goals to achieve. My garnishments have further increased in various matters, which I am forced to make amends to for past transgressions in California, Texas and Louisiana.

Had a wonderful 7am meeting at the San Francisco Alano Club, Saw Tammy today as well. I wrote some code, I am going to get a California DMV Printout as well. Got a photo of a guy pissing on the market street. The un edited life of San Francisco Downtown and The Tenderloin and South of Market areas, I posted this my blog.

My life sucks, but I am accountable for my actions, and inactions. My sponsor wants me to follow through with a few items and also I have a trip to Athron, CA upcoming to handle some affairs. A taxi driver position is a doorstep to better things, even if alas a bit dangerous in the troubled economy, and the dangerous Hunters Point and Western Addison as well as the Tenderloin.

I am off to have a happy new year, and to fast as well. My partner wants me to go out for new years, but alas I decline she and I are becoming more and more distant in life, my growth and innerpersonal enlightment, and further discovering life and what doesn’t work
--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Slept well, had a rude awaking while sleeping last night. Ate ok, saw someone who gave me gratitude today. Spoke to my sponsor, not much else going on. Just getting through the holiday season.
--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Received a reply from the LDS church was interesting and much as I expected.

I made some posts to some forums, got up about 3am today, cleaned up and did errands, took care of business, plan to go to a meeting in the height today, I also did some coding and am looking forward to being a taxi driver as a stepping stone to greater things, talked to some MUNI drivers this morning, still plan to go back and get my CDL, I’m impressed with their transit discounts and benefits they get, as well as gender reassignment is covered.


I spoke to my sponsor, who wants me to get off my ass and do something, my again friend I’m worried about I think she may be in trouble and went out last night, she might be a potential future 12-stepper. She’s strong and independent and ran with the rough crowed and learning about how the world really works, she’s twenty-four, reminds me of when I first started to find myself.

I broke paths with my support group, they let me go, I found a common interest and persona I don’t like TG support groups other than anonymous online forums. I expressed my anger and resentment toward some individuals, but moved on with my life, the fact and how they treated me broke with something I learned hard.

I’m finding my interests are changing with transition, my personality and truth be told I like to be left alone, and be focused on service, duty, and being kind to others. I had tea this morning at my favorite coffee shop or rather one of them
I might drop by and say hi to Tammy at the Alano club. I spoke to Kathy from lambda when I wanted to call and wish sonny a happy mass even though has an athaithist.

I’ve moved on with some things, I lesbian on castor st made a pass at me, I also was completed by women on my legs. I had some lesbians in a bar checking me our yesterday as well. I don’t go in the Castro much, maybe I’m too metro sexual or something.

I brought closure to my disagree and past transgressions with the following groups and have moved on with my life
1.) Houston Transgender community members whom I hurt
2.) The marina dock with a selfish individual that made a transphbic comment, and sexist comment
3.) Castro Country club with a individual who made a trans-phobic racisi, and sexist remark
4.) The pacific center whom was supportive but I made a comment
5.) The church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints
6.) Lambda Center with an individual
7.) My father whom never filled that role and lives in San Francisco and works with his lies at UC Berkeley
8.) The SF LGBT center with an individual whom didn’t treat me fairly and accused me of something
9.) The Alano club with an individual whom made a sexist remark
10.) Myself (forgiveness)
--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Progress in San Francisco

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Slept rather well, alas a bit late, made it to our lady of safeway at 7 this morning, filled my service commitment. Stil thinking about the asain girl I have a crush on, I came out to her a bit, but its not right. And I cant handle the relatshinshop built on common trauma, and stress, plus shes bisexual so its possible.

Moreover, I am going to take the city permit process and become a San Francisco taxi driver, I talked to my sponsor and some of my friends in Berkeley, and Oakland as well as my diesel dyke friend, and all suggest it and three of them have worked as Taxi drivers, its just a step in the direction I need to take to better myself.

I must admit San Francisco General treated me with respect, when I was sexually asulted, and initial didn’t know my cirmstances or I was TS, also some folks in Berkeley don’t know either, I came out and disclosed to one person whom is gay, but do admire given we have similar soberity dates, and go to the same meetings who by doing so the person admires me even more because he knows how rough I have it.


I spoke to DLG is still sick, I spoke to MLS this week as well, I might go to the Alano club today, I just plan to be a litte alone right now, I need to do some step work on some bickering that is takeing place on Yelp, with a selfish womanizer, pig who was disrepsctful to lesbians, and transsexuals, as well as anyone who doesn’t fit his right wing adgenda, and has to admit my faults to fight back in yelping.


I added code to my server, I also took some photos which I plan to upload this weekend, I got a few great captures with my new digital camria, It amazes me how cheap flash memory has become. I saw my EX this past week, I felt indifferent, as well as someone whom I have a very big attraction to and crush on in the program even if not on the best terms.


Anyway I am greatful to have a support circle of friends even if I prefer to explore alone, (other than working with my sponsor) I have some things Im working on in 2009, some of which I wil blog about later.

The reason I have my website, blog and other things are to express myself, and maybe one day write a book from passages written between 2005-through current. Im pretty popular in the blog and as a out net personality even if Im selfish and treat people like crap sometimes

I sent the e-mail to christen recenty at the advice of my sponsor briefy thanking her, and saying im trying to move on with my life,.


Ill be out and about, I might go to the movies to see Tom Cruse be a nazi.
--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Friday, December 26, 2008

Friday, December 26, 2008


I have something, I want to write but will hold off. I am a bit angry about being sexually assaulted earlier this week, and the fact the scum might be a stalker from my website, or someone from 12-step meetings based on what they said to me.


I have some goals I am working on, and plan to achieve, and other things that I want to finish before 2008, and into 2009. I hope an individual whom I have resentments toward self and also jealousy toward, we can find some common ground for me to move forward and coexist.

Im really enjoying the cold weather, my christamas was ok, and I have plans today.

I also have some work to do with my sponsor.

Not much else to say, just another day.
--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Its Christmas, Im alone, I went out a bit this morning, I plan to go to the DMV and get a printout, I also am going to after the new year, enroll for the Cab Drving Class, I also have an electro appointment next week.

I spoke to DLG; I called a few supporters in Houston. I added some code to my site, I also might go to the movies today, something about tom cruise playing a Nazi excites me, some of the guys at sparks found it Interesting of my hormonal and sexual arousal reaction to a peanut butter, cholicate, and caramel with collocate ice cream old fashioned shake.

Moreover I slept well, and told my folks I loved them, I recently met someone who is illegal and I have feelings for, and is stuck in the states against her will, I don’t think shes bi or even lesbian but we are very close, and she also was recently sexually assaulted and robbed and her parents are glad she left her country, I feel sad for her, because Ive been in her shoes in 2006.

I might walk in golden gate park today if I don’t go to the movies, or I might go out to the queer beach. Or I might just stay inside and write code. I am uncertain as to how my day will plan out. I plan to try to fit a meeting in today somewhere.


But whatever, Life’s not easy but Im strong.
--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

I was sexually assaulted yesterday, didn’t encounter any trans-phobia at SF general, got checked out they took a report, slept 4 hours, awoke, took care of my affairs, than did laundry, I also made contact with the Mormon Bishop and will share some e-mails in a bit. But first,
My attacker may have been someone or a stalker from my blog and/or AA. I sometimes obscure things, or delay posts. In addition, I did not get the snickers when they found out I was a Transsexual, and also initially they had trouble locating me in databases. I pass my gender role even better and better. IT feels good to be back.

More recently, more of my blackout in San Francisco a year and half ago is remembered. I also spoke to my diesel dyke friend. Who is a big part of my continued sobriety and establishing myself positively in San Francisco.

I’m grateful for
1.) Health
2.) Being assertive
3.) Youth
4.) Beauty
5.) Pride
The List
1.) Mail
2.) Call sponsor
3.) Write code
4.) Do work for client
5.) Laundry
6.) Meeting

I moved on from my disagreement, with christen, and made closure in those matters. In January imp going to problem take steps to become a Taxi Driver in San Francisco, I also plan to do a few other things.

I vet made some progress in some fanatical areas in my life, I also had an amazing experience on Sunday looking for a replacement razor, the unit and cartages are hard to locate had luck at 18th and Castro Walgreens.
I spoke to DLG is sick, I also want to speak to whoever hurt me, that you’re not going to scare me away from blogging. I made progress not perfection. I was abducted by two police impersonators in a ex police auto with fake badges, the guy who forced me to perform protected oral sex I may know from aa and may have been stalking me. He knew details I shared in a few meetings in the East Bay, as well as things from my blog and website.


Here is the attached Letters to and from my Mormon bishop even though I’m not Mormon, It’s still part of my 12-step work.
************************************************************************************************************************************************************
es we could, I don't know if that's something I'm ready to do. I wish
to discuss that with my therapist and sponsor. My website, blog and
other sites cross linked and googling me would be a best way into my
insight.

I had a very bad and unwelcoming experience with one of the members in
the family ward whom I still see in the city. on my last time I
resided in San Francisco and Led to a relapse. I do want to build a
relationship, and share my story of how I feel the church failed me. I
don't ever think Id be able to come back, as the church is not very
accepting of individuals as myself.

The church was a big part of my drinking and "death wish" I disagree
with various church policy's and also at least one of the
dis-fellowshipable offences in the church hand book of instructions.
which more insight could be gained.

I had a bad night and was sexually assaulted for the 3rd time in my
life, and was unable to speak with you long. I would like to allow you
in my life, but I have great pain of walking though those doors, given
an abusive co-workers, failed relationship, and a abusive employer led
me to start binge drinking.

I Joined the church as McInnis Lee Gaetjens in Harvey, LA in 2001, I
attended high school with a member, I was officaly baptised in 2004,
By elder jeff jones at the West bank Ward In Harvey, LA shortly after
my mothers death.

Between 2005-2007 I was active and eventually less active and left in
the church in Baton Rouge, Houston, Dallas, Austin, Salt Lake, New
York, Los Angles, Portland, and Seattle as well as rural east Texas
wards Started drinking Post Katrina, when the abuse started and Law
environment was unhelpful. I was struggling with issues, and suicide.



My name here is my legal name and Ive gone though a lot of changes
from 2005, Ive been sober as of 7-13-2007 at Lambda Center in Houston,
Texas, was in the Harris County Jail in Jan, and served 45 days
between April and may of 2007. for disorderly conduct, resisting
arrest, terror threat.

My blog / website attracts 20,000 - 30,000 hits a month, and have
many loyal followers. Since its launch in 2006, Ive taken some info
down and used it for political reasons, I also own many other domains.
I disagree with the church on Prop 8. and it made me angry.


I belive the person who attacked me may be from an aa meeting and may
have used some information off my blog to hurt me, but it will not
stop me from being true to myself and allowing me to blog, and post on
the web.

with the help of google you can find one of the letters I sent to
church headquarters regarding prop 8.

which I also was unable to deliver to you


Leigh "Lee" McInnis Gaetjens
PO Box 425081 San Francisco, CA 94142
(713) 578-0016 www,leemcg.com * leemcg@leemcg.com (415) 678-0859

Sunday, August 24, 2008
Bishop Or Branch President
San Francisco YSA Ward
1601 22nd ave San Francisco, CA 94142

Subject: prop 8 from a (prior) member whom was NOT ex-commutated

Dear Bishopric of San Francisco,

My (Prior) Name was McInnis Lee Gaetjens; I was born on January 18th
1981 to Kathryn McInnis Gay and Martin Clark Gaetjens, to good
parents. My father in my youth started binge drinking and became an
alcoholic. My parents split my mother went back to her hometown of New
Orleans, LA. My father was originally from New York City. My Parents
moved here in the late 1960s/ early 1970s.

I was a convert to the church in Harvey, LA at the west bank Its ward,
under the bishopric and later branch president of John Friday whom
served there for a years and later resigned due to being displaced by
his job with hurricane Katrina.

I was semi-active in the New Orleans YSA ward, the the Brays Bayou YSA
Yard in Houston, Texas. I fell away from the church in Louisiana long
before Katrina. I do believe in the church, but my Transsexual /Gender
Identity and sexual orientation, caused me much comfort, with
relocating to Houston, Texas for my job after Katrina. For a while, I
was with the Sam Houston YSA Ward, under Bishop Craig Petty.

I started binge drinking around Christmas 2005, and drank until
7-13-2007 off and on, struggling with my issues, I am writing this
letter to this disgust and questionable legal status of the church as
a 501(c)3 non-profit meddling in police rallying and activism.

I also can tell you from personal experience in cities I have visited
many people don't speak up, about the pain, I drank because I was
afraid, I was abused at my job in Houston, I was abused in my
apartment, I had my home violated, and was blackmailed and extorted
due to the state of Texas, my drinking and self-distortive behavior.
It is likely I will never recive justice for my hate crime and sexual
assault by co-workers. I could not turn to the church for help,
however I do know many closeted members even some married and on
bishoprics, high councils, and other callings.

The point is the church teaches that we are supposed to be kind and
loving, and respectful of individually, many of us commit suicide,
adultery or drink or fall into other vices. I think the church should
change just as it did with African Americans and the priesthood in
1978.

The church widespread discirmaties in a state, and sponsors
discirmation for voters and individuals freedoms and civil liberties .
The local leadership and high counsel and headquarters in salt lake
city should allow us equal privileges and rights

I would like to sit down and discuss this matter with you

I can be reached at

(415) 678-0859
Leigh McInnis Gaetjens is my current legal name
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
LEEMCG @ LEEMCG .COM
WWW. LEEMCG.COM(blog/photos/art/webpage)

For the most Part, I still do believe in the church but why should I
worship where I am actively persecuted against, and I do follow the
principles and teaching of the church, with the exception of some,
which discriminate and are old and dated to GLBTQ members.

The reason I became sober at Lambda Center in Houston Texas was due to
having a vision, similar to Joseph smith, I was in an auto accident,
and was Tazered, beaten, and handcuffed and lost 3 hours of my life in
cardaric arrest, heart attacks and blackouts in Jan 2007 ,

Furthermore, band as a direct result to my actions served sometime in
The Harris County Jail Saw my (dead) mother, relative and also was
told I was loved, and still feel my heavenly father, and know he loves
me for the real "me".

it angers me that I am unwelcome to worship in a church whom actively
discriminates against Transsexual-women, and I left, I would love to
rejoin, but why rejoin if I am unwelcome.

Your sister in Christ and Sobriety,

Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens




WWW.LEEMCG.COM - Loud & proud
"Born Californian, Raised Cajun (With Gravy & Lagniappe), Came Out Texan"





> Hi Lee,
>
> We could talk on Sunday January 4 in the afternoon or Monday evening
> January 5. We meet at the building at 22nd and Lawton.
>
> Bishop Laymon


--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Friday, December 19, 2008

A day to get MILKed, loss and morning of a austin, texas ledgend

Friday, December 19, 2008

Slept ok, still a little sick, enjoyed watching Milk yesterday, going to drop off and print my resume at some places, I also have some errands to run and fate will maybe take me to north beach today and the tenderloin both of which I dislike very much so the crazy drinking at night in North Beach, and the Tenderloin piss smell, and crackheads and junkies.


I send an email and thank you to MLS, I also am somewhat on goals, I had coffee this morning to my delight, and have a bit to do and I need to keep this entry short, I have a meeting planned for later this morning, and something to drop off to a friend in Bayview, so a very busy day.

I also attached a few emails I sent to loved ones, part of the reason I have a website is to share, document, and inspire others reality tv style, uncensored.

she was an acquaintance of mine, whom I met a few times in Houston,
and a few times when vi sting DFW and Austin, she spent falls in
Houston, the sad part is she was given services, but denied a place to
sleep, she couch surfed with me once, when I worked for walmart and
she froze via hypothermia to death in the snow storm in Austin. I also
once gave her a ride, and bought her dinner in 2005, and 2006, I met
her in 2007 again at the Houston GLBT Caucus while doing database
entry work.

The city of Austin, parts of Dallas, and Houston as well have various
nondiscrimination ordnance's, which are not all ways enforced, I have
even been discriminated against in the east bay, but generally folks
accept me, given Years of hormones, Hair removal, and starting
transiting and hormones under 25 (24years old) I started pre Katrina,
I wasn't out yet.


I found out she died yesterday after I had advance tickets to see Milk
at the Castro Theatre so it was very upsetting. that someone was deny
ed a place to sleep, and slept in a winter blistered and died, she was
an amazingly brave person, I am brave in some ways,


She was often in Houston for day of remembrance and also I knew her
from working with the equality Texas PAC similar in nature to Equality
California. Despite my bad blood with some members of the GLBT
community and some of my controversial more right wing political
views, not all folks shun me in Austin, Dallas, Houston, New Orleans.
I even am controversial in San Francisco, with some of my political
view points,and my support and friendship and membership with the Pink
Pistols, and NRA

I watched milk at 1pm yesterday with a friend at Castro theatre, I all
most cry ed in tears, I have only seen one movie in the bay area"Iron
Man" .My sponsor said I needed to do something fun and take some time
for me


I'm going to send you a list of folks, that have been positive role
models, inflludantional or friends or aqaunces whom I would like
notified in the event of my murder, death, or if I go missing for an
extended period. Its an unfortunate reality that I face,Hate and I
have a few various individuals whom inspired me.


I may send it to you in Microsoft word format on a cd-r, which in the
event Dan, you don't hear from me for an extended period Id like you
to report me missing with SFPD, which is also an additional reason I
sent you photographs of myself.

I also want you to know in the event I go missing, or unheard of this
person I do keep in touch with

Luanna Rogers LMFT
3850 17th st
san francisco, ca 94114
415-934-7727


Obviously shes a therapist










http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/news/texassouthwest/stories/121708dntexgale.709fa3f0.html




Transgendered former Dallas mayoral candidate Jennifer Gale found dead in Austin

01:46 PM CST on Wednesday, December 17, 2008

From Staff and KVUE-TV reports

A body found near the University of Texas campus this morning is that
of perennial mayoral candidate Jennifer Gale, Austin fire officials
said.
AHNA HUBNIK / DMN
Jennifer Gale

Ms. Gale, 47, a transgendered homeless former Marine, had run
unsuccessfully for numerous public offices in Austin and Dallas. She
finished ninth out of 11 candidates in the 2007 race for Dallas mayor.

In Dallas' 1995 mayoral race, she earned five votes as a write-in candidate.

The body was found in front of the First English Lutheran Church in
the 3000 block of Whitis Avenue where Ms. Gale was staying, and
officials told KVUE-TV they feel certain the body was that of Ms.
Gale.
Also Online

11/28/07: Also-rans in mayor's race seek respect

City Hall Blog: A 'gentle soul'

Austin police said the medical examiner's office had not identified the body.

A crew responded to a 911 call and found the body, fire officials
said. The crew performed CPR for at least 30 minutes but never felt a
pulse.

Ms. Gale gained fame in Austin by repeatedly running for multiple
offices, including mayor, City Council, governor and Congress. Ms.
Gale was also known for attending municipal hearings where she
presented arguments in song. She planned to run for Austin mayor in
2009.

Ms. Gale ran for Dallas mayor in 2007 and wanted Dallas to legally
recognize gay and lesbian unions, turn the Trinity River Corridor into
a working farm and extend publicly subsidized health and dental
benefits to residents.

WWW.LEEMCG.COM - Loud & proud
"Born Californian, Raised Cajun (With Gravy & Lagniappe), Came Out Texan"

another email
I think austin is a great place, I ran away to san francisco, with a
friend I had a place than lost it, I came out in Houston, I made bad
choices there, and did some time in the harris county jail for
misdeminors. IM a soft-butch and a bisexual though lean lesbian, Im
very femmie, but butch when necessary.

I think you should network with the site www.transhouston.com they are
doing some great things in the community in Houston.

Ill share about my selfishness, I made bad choices in my transtion,
some men abused me I was raped, I was scared and didnt go foward to
the police, and let things get over my head, I didnt quit an
emotionaly, physcaly, and sexualy abuseiving working, living, and
community suitution.

The shelters in SFarevery accomidateing, But 90% of the girls here,
have drug additions, HIV, felonys, work as prostuites (we have a 50%
unemployment rate) or have a co-dependant male relatshinoship that is
unhealthy.

I have none of these, its hard being on your luck, but I dont have a
future in Harvey, LA. I walked away from my home, truck, job, becuase
who I am is important.

I obey the law, and go to AA meetings daily.amd work to better myself.
Best of luck in starting a shelter.


And yet another

Dear Dad,


Thank you for everything you did for me.
I hope some day I can make amends to you
I am trying hard to live better



Goodbye and happy holidays

Your daughter,

Leigh


PS: I hope the photos I sent to you found the way to you well ( i
wanted you to have proper photos of me)
, the medical health directive if Im ever killed or seriously injured
my doctor and legal team has copys of it and is aware of my wishes,
please see to it that I am never butchered and burred as someone else
whom is long gone, when I was a diffrent person


ere is my primacy care doctor

http://www.lyon-martin.org/




Lyon-Martin Health Services
1748 Market Street Suite 201
San Francisco, CA 94102


In addtion it was prepared by


http://www.transgenderlawcenter.org/
Transgender Law Center
870 Market Street
Room 823
San Francisco, CA 94102
415-865-0176 phone
877-847-1278 fax

415-565-7667
415-252-7512 (Fax)
--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Progress not prefection

Thursday, December 18, 2008

I Slept well, had toast and coffee this morning, I have some code I want to write, I’m meeting some of my faineance goals, I also plan to lay low for a while as well. I saw the SFPD Officer who mistreated me in Jan 26,th 2008 didn’t even reconsider me, was very nice and didn’t even know I was TS keep in mind this is the most redneck, son of a bitch SFPD Officer I ever encountered.

I moved on from my resentment toward him, I made a complaint to the Office of citizen complaints, and put it to my own personal Jesus.

Furthermore, an Investment for a new computer is in the works, or an additional laptop. I also applied for two apartments not sros, this week where I can live all alone and cook. I also ran into a old friend, who wanted me to go to LA with him, to run high power assut typefirearms, from just some guy who likes me between a source in east Oakland and also the guy whom deals in high power handguns near civic center. I declined, I am going legit. And have been out of my shady past for long enough where Im safe.

Recently at the San Francisco Public Library I got my hands on a copy of the Sunday Houston Chronclie and red something in an advice column which is one of my former sponcess who is a chronic relapser for 20 years, Her well to do parents want to cut her out of their estate, its sad its like the 4th person I noticed that I knew the details seince going straight

When Fishing season starts I might try to get work down at the docks, which also I know a few rough and tough guys, Last night much to my displeasure, I learned more about drugs in AA and in san Francisco than when I was in the club scene, I never did illegal drugs, though one time a guy slipped me a Mickey.

Ideally I think IM going to take the cab drivers class and end the co-dependency, and other issues. I miss my ex-girlfriend in the East Bay, she took advange of my financially over a summer romance, we never even slept together but we shared a bed, cuddled and had some amazing conversations but I was foolish enough to get attached to someone I knew I was not compatible, I think she moved, and do worry about her.

In addition, The SF weekly has a great article about the shady folks in Fisherman’s wrf, Yetesterday I listened to some struggling women talk about drugs, post cards, It odd with my present cirmstances and sometimes having to reach out for help, I know a lot about The San Francisco Underworld, I don’t spend my free time in it. I went legit.

I sent the e-mail to christen per my sponsors request, I also removed some content via Google and other parts which to make amends with my Latter Day Saint Past. Given my online activism had YSAWARD.COM shut down, much to the disgust of my former Mormon Sisters and Brothers. I also found out me leaving had other lesbians in my ward come out, or may have been instrumental, in doing such, the one thing my father has told me seine relocating to SF is “I am a increbatilve brave woman” he is correct. I am brave, and my suffering and agony is what keeps me brave.

I had a friend with a Law enforcement background do a bit more digging on my father. If he ever relapses and hits or does anything to his new wife, I will see to it that I do everything in my power that he spends the rest of his life in San Quentin. He has never done right by me, his rejection towards me even if just given some things I told him a few years ago. Has made it where, to if I ever get partnered, adopt kids, or anything else, I don’t want him around me, as well as his lies about my mother doing coke, and the lies he made when I was eighteen and in foster care.

I was given the 411 on the true nature of his visit, on a former caseworker’s deathbed, due to an illness a few years ago, I drove to Louisiana, and the caseworker had files they kept after leaving. He is a lier, and if I ever find out her abuses his new wife, I am to do everything to make sure he given his age dies in prison, because it’s not the first time. I don’t trust him, and he is still doing wrong by me, I gave up on him a new year is amongst us and I have many resolutions.

1>) Get a NEW place to live alone, or buy into a better c-op
2.) get working part time maybe as a cab driver
3.) go back to school and get the IRS issues taken of, as well as the articles of incorporation sent to the collage for various finance accounts
3.) Buy a new laptop for collage in the summer



Furthermore, I found out something else about someone I hurt that I am jealous of, our bad beef and everything nasty, mean and hateful I did to her, was out of fear, and well wanting what she had. I don’t plan on having any contact with her in SF. I am keeping a ubber low profile in the next few weeks, however we bumped paths three times, I also said a simple hello which she has a good reason to shun me.

More, importantly I have forgiven myself for what I did in Texas. Moreover, am moving forward that’s my new years resolution, It sucks being alone during the holidays but given present cirmstances, I am being a lot more careful who I trust, allow into my personal, professional, and program. Maybe I will not always have to be a lone rider, outlaw, ex diesel dyke.

I discussed with my therapist about some issues about my transition, fiancés, and other issues, I also spoke about SRS, and a few other issues down the road. I looked into a few other matters. I sent the letter to my support group, expressing my feelings and made amends and gave the info, but also gave them farewell, and that uttery made me end friendships/

More, over I think I might go finally see milk today, I need some r&r and haven’t had any fun for monthes, I think Ill take today off for me, because I need to feel better. This morning, I accidently scared a poor woman, when I droped a series of magazines on the floor. I feel really bad for her, I used to be so scared, insecure and jumpy when I was newly sober, and in Texas, SFPD in general treats me well, and I avioid contact with them as much as possible.

But I have contact when I walk in on things, and sometimes my street smarts pay off. It also saddens me that I have had to give statements to the police against people I know, some on the streets, some of whom acted violently toward me, My how the ties have turned.

Threes a under twenty five, transgender woman, whom is much like me at that age, she’s butch, lesbian but also lateen, looks like she deals, but doesn’t use or drink, and also moonlights as muscles, vie also seen her dealing in firearms, and also breaking legs of individuals. I would like to reach out to her but unsure how. I mean the tradition of attraction rather than promotion, imp going to discuss with my sponsor. I really don’t find myself in a position to deal with more drama.

I’ve also decided to cut back dramatically my ties to the SF GLBT Center, as well as TEEI and Clair Fairly not for any reason, just I need my space and I’m the DIY type of gal, and don’t need groups, I’ve also decided other than the commitments I have, and my membership at the Alano Club, imp going t start attending new meetings.
It also sad that SF can be Trans-Phobic, it’s been suggested to me in more conceptive meetings that I’m unwelcome and to go to first place (which I don’t recommend for anyone). Ive encountered transphoobia from the old manger of the Alano Club (the new manger is cool), and the former Manager at the Marina Dock.

The Incident at the dock, prompted me to retaliate, it was an emotionally bad time, and when with a ex-girlfriend who was post op, and the same age Twenty Seven and very stealth and not active in the GLBT community. S
FPD questioned me about it, I was wrong for what I did but was also honest with them about what happened and also saw my part oof what I did wrong, but I didn’t deserved to be called what tony called me, or physically touched in that manner or denied women’s meetings even though I don’t like most other women or myself it’s a place I share things, Irish tony can butt fuck himself at his redneck arrogant concretive new club house, and is a right wing nut job

I don’t like the marina anyway, too stuck up, I also don’t like the northern district, despite I looked at an apartment in the Western Addition yesterday, fuck the tenderloin (tender trash, ghetto, crack central, and parts of SOMA. I like parts of bay view and hunters point despite the bad rap, I have strong street smarts. And protected myself with focrce in a young punk from Oakland looking for trouble, my training at Urban Jungle in Houston Paid off.

Regardless, I have a lot of something, to do today.
--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
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Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Updates, slept good, feeling a little less under the cold weather, updated my site applied at a 2nd apartment today, did some job hunting, also did some stuff for school and work.

I don’t have much else to say, I saw a friend whom I like and dislike his arrogance, and selfishness also applying at the apartment, I talked to my contact at the collage yesterday. I have therapy today, and might finally go see milk on Friday or this weekend at either the castor theatre or the Sundance cinema.

I spoke to an old friend recently in aa, and caught up a bit on the times. Next month will be eighteen months sober, and twenty-eight years old, young, and bright-eyed, and full of hope and optimism. I might go out to Christmas diner alone, or drop by the Alano club, and bring munchies, I read a dear abbey column this morning about well being selfish and selfish spouses that made me think about things.



I sent an email to someone who cared that is in my past per my sponsors guidance
Here is it for reference
Hello XXXXXXXXX,

Thank you for everything you did for me.
I hope some day I can make amends to you
I am trying hard to live better


Goodbye and happy holidays

Leigh
Information for board and griveance
Why is this spam/nonspam?


Leigh McInnis Gaetjens

show details 12:24 PM (2 minutes ago) Reply

This is the information for the board of the pacfic center, despite my
disagreement, I want to make things right on good terms, by tieing my
hands like this after i do such, it is unliky ill attened your groups
often, its wrong, its also wrong to have crossdressers and closet
cases who dress male leading a transexual support group in my opnion,

we who live 24/7 and under go HRT, and are in gen Y and X have much
diffrent issues

However I may pop up as I am able but I plan on starting my own
informal group outside the city (east bay)
for Transexuals only and Gen X and Gen Y age range


I still think this is wrong, and a severe breach of my confidentialy and privacy those events are supposed to be open to all tg folks, and your wrong to force this relase of confidential information, and as a result i feel potrayed and will not be attending the groups very offen, i ment it when I said you could go to hell.





Luanna Rogers LMFT
3850 17th st
san francisco, ca 94114
415-934-7727

Anita see to it that this information gets properly passed along thanks
--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
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Tuesday, December 16, 2008

It makes me angry that People have so much prejudice, and over-judgmental, what the fuck are wrong with us as human individuals, some of the greatest minds in documented history, both good and evil, have been called nuts, have had issues or insanity, drinking,. Yet became pioneers both rich, and poor, both bold and beautiful.
Moreover, I feel California and the bay area is like that, they need a little less talk and lot more action, lazy San Francisco Librials don’t always practice what they preach, and unbelievably California does have its right wing nut jobs.

The shoe throwing insult at President bush, was disgusting and distasteful and shows how much of a laughing stock, and the downgrade of Americas society, now I’m not christen anymore, I believe in a god of my own under staining. Nevertheless, biblical prophecy has written about this, and I personally believe it’s a dark time for the once great United States of America.

I wonder if President Elect Obama will be the great leader, which I think he has a tough job ahead. On the other hand, will he be the Obama nation that some predict leading into the Biblical so called New World Order, and 1984 Police State?

He has a tough job ahead of him
I slept well last night, awoke at 3:30 am got ready did my back exercise, took a hot shower was in Berkeley at 6am ish via BART thank god for BART exrider Program during these wet times. Had breakfast with a friend, and then went for coffee at tullys, than Rode BART to the Oakland hills for my doctors appointment around 10am.

I have to ride the caltrain later this week for some brief business in Athron, CA. I also have therpey later this week, I have a busy life and push my life forward hard, I networked with a friend on a fourm I belong to about things.

Spoke to dlg, and also left as message for ML, and MLS, sent a few thank you cards, and x-mass presents out as well. The Hollidays suck, but its good to know Im not alone.

I also have a call to make to the board at the Pacific Center in Berkeley regarding a matter or two. I hope my photos received well to my father
--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger
Sent an email to christen under the guidance of my new sponsor, which is working out great. I have a drs appointment today in Oakland, and might meet with a friend in Berkeley, and I have laundry to do, Bought a new blouse online it came in, I also am enjoying the shoes I got a steal on ebay, that are dressy, comfortable and too good to be true price, and they are mary janes.

I made more closure, in Texas with my sponsor at orphan Andy’s yesterday, I also wrote some code for my website.

What disgusts me in the lack of unity in the Transsexual community here and the Transgender community as a whole, It disgusts me the bickering amongst ourselves, I also told my sponsor with my current housing suction is working well, and I flat out refuse to live in a sro or even worse in the tenderloin. That neighborhood can littler go fuck itself.

My partner in crime potentially is very ill right now, and hurting with their disability. I added some new data to my private intranet as well.

Most TG folk in the city are either one of the following
1.) Addicted to drugs or drinking issues
2.) Have serious mental health issues and need hospitallztion
3.) Actively working in illcit street work, or drug dealing or sex trade
4.) Have a pimp for protection
5.) Live in utter poverty and under employment
6.) Have a good quality of life, and are stealth, and have no unity for their sisters and brothers who are struggleing
7.) Are to afraid to see theres live beyong the tenderloin and the city and county of san francisco

It’s sad that the San Francisco GLBT Center is in such disrepair, and shambles it reminds me off some off those redneck meetings houses, some of those old 24 hour clubs (pasadenia,texas), or when I used to clean vomit up at detox centers in Texas.


It’s a shame that Americas most European city and liberal place for gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgender individuals is so biased, and bicker amongst our own radical polictal views, maybe one day that will change, I’m no leader, but I speak things others are too chicken shit to speak out, but I do work hard, and am loyal.



Its raining, im mildly sick, and im out today when I could be at my base of operations working on my resume, and finances, and collage and irs issues.--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
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Monday, December 15, 2008

Monday, December 15, 2008

The Individual that hurt me in the morning meetings, Mike came in this morning, I can see how my defects and violent drinking past came into progress and hurt me. I am afraid of him, the way some individuals are of me, the best action is to stay away, and back down .more so with my seventeen months of sobriety I am attempting to practice these principles in all of my affairs.

Furthermore, Mike came in today and harassed me at home base of operations; I plan to go to SFPD and file a report, and next time have the police id him and obtain a restraining order against him. I also, had a good meeting this morning.

Slept ok,feeling a little less icky, talked to someone about my eating disorder. I spoke to more of my supporters back in Houston at various affiliations I had off and on over the years. I documented more of my website and how far I have come as a person.

I also also while composing this have another potential psych ward escapee harass me, it makes me wonder was I ever this bad in my dealings with my fellows. Moreover, sadly the answer is yes. The solution I have no answer, just know one day at a time I learn.

I have a bit to do today, and some monetary goals I am attempting to achieve, as well as other matters. I have a few employment prospects though now I have stopped looking to do some serious soul searching for anger, resentment, and myself.

Furthermore, I am going to work on more for myself, and just need some r&r before my appointment with June tomorrow in the east bay.

I have therapy wends day and am going to discuss some underlying issues and other matters, I’m just grateful today for life and to be in san Francisco.
--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger
Monday, December 15, 2008

The Individual that hurt me in the morning meetings, Mike came in this morning, I can see how my defects and violent drinking past came into progress and hurt me. I am afraid of him, the way some individuals are of me, the best action is to stay away, and back down .more so with my seventeen months of sobriety I am attempting to practice these principles in all of my affairs.

Furthermore, Mike came in today and harassed me at home base of operations; I plan to go to SFPD and file a report, and next time have the police id him and obtain a restraining order against him. I also, had a good meeting this morning.

Slept ok,feeling a little less icky, talked to someone about my eating disorder. I spoke to more of my supporters back in Houston at various affiliations I had off and on over the years. I documented more of my website and how far I have come as a person.

I also also while composing this have another potential psych ward escapee harass me, it makes me wonder was I ever this bad in my dealings with my fellows. Moreover, sadly the answer is yes. The solution I have no answer, just know one day at a time I learn.

I have a bit to do today, and some monetary goals I am attempting to achieve, as well as other matters. I have a few employment prospects though now I have stopped looking to do some serious soul searching for anger, resentment, and myself.

Furthermore, I am going to work on more for myself, and just need some r&r before my appointment with june tomorrow in the east bay.

I have therpey wendsday and am going to discuss some underlieing issues and other matters, Im just greatfu today for life and to be in san francisco.
--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Sunday, December 14, 2008

I spoke to a friend in texas, Its clear Im unwelcome, I also after I finsh my affairs I plan on leaving san francisco for brighter horizions elsewhere, which I care not th share, my website is still up. I also plan on avoiding a individual whom is on her happy little merry way here right now, I plan to lay low and get out of town maybe even leave the state for a bit.

I have a friend I plan to stay with in anther west coast city for a bit. But at the least im going to change some habbits, and hangouts I don’t want to see her. Unless she trys hard to find me, its clear we have bad blood at the moment for the most part ive backed off and also made some amends and removed some offending conent post more later, I have a train to catch soon.
--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
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Sunday, December 14, 2008
My blog gets aprox 10,000 and 30,000 Hits a month, I’m a pretty popular blogger and Net Personality, just to think back in 2005, 2006 I was unhappy in the bottle, between Chances, Numbers, Dan electros, Rudyard’s, Montrose Mining co, JRs, South Beach struggling to find myself in Houston as well as occasionally the popularity, and the BRB.
And the historical reasons I launched MY website was a disagreement I had with an individual and a to have a safe a place to express myself and explore myself, and also document my life reality tv style via a blog , I had a disagreement similar but not as extreme and being sober I think it’s wrong what they want to come back.
Now I should Note, I did not repeat transgressions or hurt anyone in Houston. Or cross boundaries, and they are being assholes, yet I respect their wishes and I am welcome back, but I will not allow them to talk to my therapist,
the reason why we have confidentially laws, are clear for respect and privacy, it’s wrong to ask me to stay away for six months, which I go to this group in another county far away from San Francisco on the Train.
Furthermore, the wrong part is after six Months if I don’t breach my confidentiality and give into their demands, They are to call the police and have me arrested and will obtain a trespass affidavit,
My answer is to attempt to come to a mutual compromise, but they are being assholes, which some members on this so-called board are not transsexuals, they are cross dressers, drag queens, and queers but they do have some amazing ts folk who side with me, but not the majority.
I have always been an outlaw, outcast and a topic of debate in the GLBTQ and Transgender community as a whole, with some of my political viewpoints, commentary,
In addition, some of my onions that groups should be tailor toward active transsexuals rather than transgender individuals, which we have many individuals in the San Francisco bay area, that are not infact, transgender, and need other issues worked out.
The other day, I ran into a friend from the Harris County Jail who was with a former business partner of mine from Houston, who wanted to set me up with running firearms, and getting back into the loan sharking, extortion, etc. I declined, I reformed my life. Im proud of myself. I got out of that lifestyle.
Had a fight with a friend last night, and was very angry. I thought I’d also bitch about some other issues which is outrageous and unacceptable, the San Francisco TG community has a 50% unemployment rate, I recently had an interview doing something I did not want t to do in a mixed crowed place 50/50 gay and straight and employees as well as working as hired muscle for special events but the reason they don’t want to hire me is because I might offend or confuse some of their heterosexual clientele.
sometimes I’m decimated against if I allow my sexual orientation to be known, sometimes I’m discriminated against due to past offences in Texas, I was decimated against above of who god made me as a person, that hurts.
Sometimes just seeking medical care is a chore, and I am subject to description it takes folks to get fed up much as Icons Rosa parks, and Martin Luther King Jr did to stand up, not be afraid of the law, and to take action for your rights and to stand up for yourself.
Ill share about some of the discrimation, I was turned away from a battered women’s place in ale media county once because, I was TG, I needed a safe place to stay for three days, and to get some help in reporting police brutality by the San Francisco Police Department Northern District and violation of my civil rights in Late Jan 2008 and Early Feb. 2008.
The point is we don’t have unity, or leaders who are willing to risk all as I am, I am amazing brave, and a leader, and self starter, I have my fathers liberal roots and desire to run away from new York city to the bay area, my mother’s Cajun New Orleans liberal aptitude, and a Texas style redneck shoot em up to where Law Enforcement doesn’t intimated me. We need more folks like Ray Hill, Phyllis Frye, Christen Williams, Theresa Sparks, Julia Oliver, Clair Fairly, Terri Waller, Valerie Shields, and others not mentioned.
Some of the individuals I listed were largely instrumental to me coming out, and people even if estranged from I highly respect. I feel a lot of my anger is not handling rejection well, I hope one day, I can return to Texas (ideally Houston, Dallas or Austin) move to LA or Alternatively, Portland or Seattle.
I am glad I still have some supporters, informants of goings on and others In Houston. I keep tabs on individuals and the happenings in the community even have made political contributions and donations given activism, even if controversial activism and I admit I’m not always right or do the right thing by my friends, and supporters. Nevertheless, I’m loyal, and in the TG Family, and I work and try too hard.
I slept well, I am still a bit sick, have to recharge, I should be performing domesticated laundry tasks today, but I am a lazy cunt. Moreover, don’t have the Entergy today. I need some r&r. But being the tough as nails former diesel dyke, which I flushed down the tubes, I am going to do some programming and send off a few documents today.
I used to believe in Liberty, Justice, and equality for all. Despite being an asshole, pig headed right wing nut job. I used too believe in tradition, now IM a different reformed person.

Anyway its wet rainy day in san francisco and I know Ill be ok. Im just another screwed up individual living in a world unaccepting. But IM sick of it, and want to find a partner in crime who fills my defects in my personality.
But don’t we all?









--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
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Saturday, December 13, 2008

Saturday, December 13, 2008
Slept well last night and but I’M a bit sick, met with EW my wonderful sponsor, I also dreamed a bit off horses, Texas, and ranching, I’m a bit sick for rural east Texas and my gas guzzler 4x4 pickup truck. I spoke to DLG a bit today.

ATTEMPTED TO fill my cold meds, was declined by my insurance company, times are a changing with the weather, I still have my old allergy meds to tie me though. I also spoke to MS today in Houston, Texas, and ran into an old friend from Lambda center when I attended a 2nd meeting today with my wonderful sponsor.

I’m feeling a bit under the weather, where I live all the other women are sick and as am I, blah a place full of sick women, I also added code to my site, is continuing to grow in popularity even my blog.

Talked to my sponsor about my defects and anger, I also had a good appointment with my therapist this week, and next week things are switched around a bit. I have my doctor’s appointment in the east bay later this week, and a long Bart and ac transit ride as well on the agenda, I also might do some cycling and walking this week, weather permitting given I have a minor cold.

Furthermore, I am just glad to be alive, and learning to be grateful for what I have and to let go of the past, and to be fearless and through.
--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Friday, December 12, 2008

Furthermore, I recently edited some content from my website from way back in 2007. I manged though activism, and outrage to shut a site down, and did the right thing, in practicing these princibles in all of my affairs.

Moreover, I did the right thing and took some of the offending content down.

In addition, the Ranger Station, which Ford motor company was suing, got the issues ironed out, I also found out that the issue, which was using ford trademarks on t-shirts, and decals, the relatshonship was worked out.

Furthermore, I had a wonderful doctor’s appointment this morning, and had something a of a spiral experience, form a life experience. I lost my new proud at&t tilt cell phone, It found its way back to me and I did not panic or just go insane in my bitching rant.

Furthermore, today is an awesome day, but moreover quite well. Finances are getting a little better and more into the spirit of the overpriced bay area.

All in all it’s a great day to be alive.
--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger
Furthermore, I recently edited some content from my website from way back in 2007. I manged though activism, and outrage to shut a site down, and did the right thing, in practicing these princibles in all of my affairs.

Moreover, I did the right thing and took some of the offending content down.

In addition, the Ranger Station, which Ford motor company was suing, got the issues ironed out, I also found out that the issue, which was using ford trademarks on t-shirts, and decals, the relatshonship was worked out.

Furthermore, I had a wonderful doctor’s appointment this morning, and had something a of a spiral experience, form a life experience. I lost my new proud at&t tilt cell phone, It found its way back to me and I did not panic or just go insane in my bitching rant.

Furthermore, today is an awesome day, but moreover quite well. Finances are getting a little better and more into the spirit of the overpriced bay area.

All in all it’s a great day to be alive.
--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Fireing up my personal jesus

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Slept well last night, awoke early this morning, I continue to grow, lately I’ve been sick, and my body is achieving my years of abusive behavior, working as a loan shark, diesel dyke, and my shady shoddy past is a thing of the past.

I talked to someone I miss being so aggressive and dominating, I miss bar rooms, bar fights, and being an outlaw. Nevertheless, I don’t want that anymore, I deicide to move, on and end my past, and grow as a person, and as soon as I get my life together, I will do such things. I grow as a person.

I worry about being alone, and a bitch, I left Houston quickly and abruptly to better myself and work a good program, which I have to good degrees off and on, working step 12 rather than Texas two stepping, and practicing the principles I learn in all of my affairs is hard.

I just need to be in the moment, and grow as a person, and just be in the moment, I often forget how lucky and grateful to be in the Mecca of San Francisco and to experience a second chance at life sober.
I sent the documents to the auto finance company, and the insurance company to take care of miss hap when I bought my California auto insurance policy. Furthermore, I grow as a person.


I spoke to DLG who gave me the updates on the snow, in New Orleans, I feel like my adult life is just begging at age twenty seven, next month Ill be celebrating my twenty eightieth birthday, and eight-teen months sober. (7-13-2007 sobriety date) and (1-18-1981 birthday)

I made amends in some matters and talk about my pain and trauma, I might talk to ray hill for some inspiration on a non-profit in the east bay that discriminates against Transsexuals in total disregard to California non-discrimination law, and the city of Oakland law and that hurts because I was born in Oakland in Alameda county not far from where this takes place, I want to give something back but I’m not in the position to get arrested.
Activism
I’ll break the story, I also might mention it to a few friends and confidants in the GLBTQ community to get some insights if to be angry tired and pissed off. I want to bring change; I have also been playing phone tag with the local Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormons) which is a prior religious affiliation and partially with the abuse at work, home and my loss of faith, values and belief system, which is wrong how they discriminate against gay, lesbians and transsexuals.

Furthermore, an article in the San Francisco Bay Times, and the San Francisco Bay Area reporter writes about president elect Obama’s Transgender EDNA, hate crimes protections, if that day comes soon, or later in his prediction, I plan to go to the Local FBI Field office, and talk about what happened to me given I had no protections at the time,

Just even to be able to sue (civilly) victor, john, henrys, enquire, Carl, James, elm dean would me a lot to me, I don’t even want money, I want it to help other Trans-women in similar suctions and to pump a lot of money back into Texas, but I need to get my life stable which I’m working on doing as we speak.

I think the right wing nut jobs, rather than an tax break for the big three automakers, which I am a proud domestic car buyer, to give tax breaks to individuals would be good for the economy rather than to print more money, or to give tax breaks,

I think the government should take over the big three and sell to bmw, and other makers which we shut out of the American market with overregulation, and taxation of the 1970s, and 1980s and the 70s oil crisis and get some awesome euro inspired trucks and cars for the common man and woman with a touch of American horsepower pickup trucks here.


Obama is going to help the economy, change things a bit, and help others. I see him along the lines of great presidents such as Lincoln, Washington, Regan, Clinton, Kennedy, etc.


Here is my gratitude List for today
1.) Grateful to be alive
2.) Grateful to be sober
3.) Grateful to be young, bold and beautiful
4.) Grateful for my health, and prime fitness condition
5.) Grateful to have a program
6.) Grateful to have friends, family, and people who care about me
7.) Grateful to be able to talk about my feelings in a positive manner
8.) Grateful to



The list
1.) Copy name change and send to finance company
2.) Send documents to dan
3.) Go to therpery
4.) Eat well and drink lots of water
5.)



That’s all I have for today, I’m a bit sick, and my hormones have me a bit dried out and need to take care of myself, I cried a lot this morning in the bathroom. I need to get my health up and go to bed very early this morning.

I have my doctor’s appointment next week in the east bay, plus a date this weekend in the east bay.


--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

pride, progress not profection

Slept a bit late last night, woke up spoke out a bit this morning, and reached out more for help, I also added some content to my website(s). Furthermore, I have been working on my IRS issues so I can go back to college. I saw my father recently he did not see me.

I sent some photos back to Louisiana, the folks do not have a house cleaner to help mom, I wonder with pat gone, how the house on North Friendship in Harvey will look in a few years. I am in San Francisco and Dan is all alone as am I.

I think I’m going to get used to being alone, I have some finical goals I want to achieve, working step 12 at the present moment with my program, practicing the principles I learned in all of my affairs, not 2 stepping, imp 12 stepping.

Moreover, I did not have any nightmares, had some digesting problems recently, been eating healthy and feeling better about my life.

Applied at the apartment yesterday, I also contacted someone about a place in the mission close to 16th street, maybe I’ll see my father in the am, more, given I have someone I’ve started seeing in the east bay. In addition, we spend time together in San Francisco, Oakland, and Berkeley.
Stayed awake and watched dumb cheesy game shows by Marv griffin yesterday after having a rough night’s sleep and very bad nightmares, PTSD, and PMS is a bitch.



Gratitude List
1.) Grateful to be alive
2.) Grateful to have food clothing and shelter
3.) Grateful to have folks who care about me and a life
4.) Grateful to be in excellent health and prime fitness condition.
5.) Grateful to have money in my bank account and income
6.)


The List
1.)Copy Insurance documents for auto finance company and mail
2.) Pick up photos in Oakland
3.)Print documents at Kinko’s for employers for IRS Tax issue
4.) Send of resume
5.) Work on website, and write code



Furthermore, I have been thinking of the person I was, where I came from and how I got where I am now in both the spiritual matter, and geographical matter. I miss BMCD often, but we spoke, I spoke to a few individuals from my support group, which I might not go back to, just keep in touch.
IM glad to have friends who care about me in Oakland, Berkeley, Freemont, Dublin, Piedmont, daily city, alameda, and other areas in the bay area
. I am a lot like my mother, I even look a lot like her, and also not surprisingly we have some of the same defects of charter. I was working a shitty program for a while.
--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Progress not prefection

Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Today awoke at 1am, this morning. Showered and cleaned up and looked nice today. I spoke to TW, VS, and WF this week. I have a little followed up to do. Had three guys before 8am try to hit on me between 3am and 8 am, I had a taxi driver lust after me, I often have them in the early morning.

I had a few other people checking me out. I also am doing laundry this morning, I have a cute pair of Mary janes I got on sale, and a leather coat I purchased down in the Mission District. Next week I am barting to Oakland for my Drs Appointment, I also am going to Oakland and Berkeley this weekend for a blind date.

Moreover, I have been thinking of my plan in life, looked at an apartment this week, and talked to DLG about it. Also spoke to my counselor, which made some suggestions for me. I do and am very lucky to have what I have for myself even if just faith of the better life, American and California dream.

Furthermore, by letting go absolutely, and moving on from the lone star state. Even if just in the moment today is humbling in itself. Honestly sometimes I don’t know at this point if my life would be any better if I returned to Houston tomorrow, I think I made the right choice, even if at times spiritually, and emotionally its difficult.

I can be very stubborn, and presently being tough as nails, sober, and emotional stable, and keeping health and fitness and taking good care of myself, and having faith keeps me going. I found out the male pig in the AA meeting, others found out about his asshole ways, and threw his selfish trans-phobic, womanizer ass out.

This morning downtown, I saw a bunch of tweakers, crack heads, crackpots, and other bull shit I put up with in San Francisco on a daily basis, I also thought I would share some of how I voted locally on November 4th election

I was in Favor of the Community Justice Center the bullshit with aggressive panhandlers, drugs and other far left labial garbage of taxpayer subsided so-called waste of “harm reduction” is a waste of money. Maybe I’m just too much of a civil libertarian, and old fashed redneck woman to see the light in helping people, that don’t want help. Moreover, making it difficult for sober, sane folks trying to survive.


I also was in favor ironically even if ray hill and I disagree of more jails and allowing crime victims the right to have more input for parole, and sentencing.

I think it is great at least the drug treatment proposition passed, though personally I believe an active addict belongs on city our county jail.

Maybe I just want to bitch a bit today. I have achived a bit and am on a difficult journey.
--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Monday, December 8, 2008

Progress report

Monday, December 08, 2008
The reality of my sobriety, this morning was walking through the Castro before a meeting walked in on a smash and grab, san Francisco’s finest responded fast, and the tweaker was arrested and I was questioned, and found not involved with it.

Furthermore, the person I want to become. Is clearer, I desire to be less of an attention whore-ish, self centered-selfish bitch. And more charitable, kind and pleasant to be in the company thereof. The Houston Police Officer whom was gunned down was a nice officer, who let me go on a minor traffic ticket once.

Spoke to ray hill who saw milk again. I also have been talking with sponsor whom grew up in Houston, Texas. And knows some folks that I am still on speaking terms with. I got tired of being alone, and was able to achive more here than I was in Houston, yet still feel home sick for the lone star state.

Moreover, I think my resentment toward christen, guilt and shame is best dealt with by staying away, The reality as it stands is I am unwelcome and need to back down, I don’t always have to be right and need to learn to practice these principles in all my affairs.

I installed some new php, sql and other code to the server, I also backed up files today. I also have to send some documents to the insurance company, applied for a new apartment today. I also attempted to call in to my sponsor. I went to orphan Andy’s this morning for coffee.

Furthermore I updated and am working on leemcg.com and leighmcinnisgaetjens.com as well. I also backed up photos to my backup server. Currently my mood suits Led zeppelin. Ran into a old friend shelly today. Whom we are a bit friendly she was headed to Oakland on Bart to get some um, work done.
Spoke a bit to my former religious past whom I moved onward from mainly I’m what missionaries call just friendly, I moved on from Organized religion and the so called fear establishment of oh my god!
Recently linked up with an old friend via yahoo messenger is married and doing well, never thought this person would grow the fuck up.


Gratitude List
1.) That I have oppertunitys here
2.) That I have friends, family and people who care in San Francisco, Oakland, Berkeley, Portland, Seattle, New Orleans, Baton Rouge, Dallas, Austin, and Houston.
3.) That I keep in touch with my own personal jesus
4.) That I have a plan and commitment to my plan
5.) That I am getting things achived.



The List
1.) Mail documents to finance company
2.) Turn in early to finish work tomorrow
3.) Mail copy’s of documents to DLG
4.) Get extra keys for PS and USPS for DLG and MLS
5.) Give log on info to MLS and DLG
6.) Give contact info for MLS and DLG
7.) Make some amends with pac
--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Friday, December 5, 2008

photos of my bike on livejournal

Friday, December 05, 2008

The reality is, I have a place I am going to apply for on my busy week next week. I have a lot to do, Have an appointment at Lyon martin, I also have a lot I’m working on. Its rough no one ever said my journey would be easy. I miss my grandmother this year, Its my first Christmas without her. I really miss her.

I sent some photos home to DLG, MLS, and MCG. It feels good to still have some family left. I had to make difficult choices, and I did this to myself and made bad choices in Houston, Texas. I spoke to someone and had some resources with my hardships.

I thought I’d share more about spirituality, I did contact the LDS Bishop with the YSA ward, I mentioned somewhat of my background, But I have no intention of going back, mainly I wanted to be what Missionaries call Just friendly.

I think it’s wrong the assumptions of child rape, and polygamy, and also the vandalism of lds churches, even if the catholic church was very much as involved, but the lds church as well in blocking prop 8. I wanted to offer symphony to vandals whom are destroying church property around the bay area and the world.
also have made some contact with the local lds leadership and let them know how I feel, but also feel the vandals destroying the church property here in the bay area is wrong, two wrongs don’t make a right

Furthermore My therapist referred me to another nonprofit which can help me renter legitimate employment rather than hanging around bookies, loan sharks, money laundering or other illicit activities.

The list
1.) Post office
2.) Copy documents
3.) Work on website
4.) Lyon Martin
5.) Update resume and send off cover letter


Grattuide list

1.) Grateful to have a wonderful therapist
2.) Grateful to have this opportunity I’m working on
--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger
Friday, December 05, 2008

The reality is, I have a place I am going to apply for on my busy week next week. I have a lot to do, Have an appointment at Lyon martin, I also have a lot I’m working on. Its rough no one ever said my journey would be easy. I miss my grandmother this year, Its my first Christmas without her. I really miss her.

I sent some photos home to DLG, MLS, and MCG. It feels good to still have some family left. I had to make difficult choices, and I did this to myself and made bad choices in Houston, Texas. I spoke to someone and had some resources with my hardships.

I thought I’d share more about spirituality, I did contact the LDS Bishop with the YSA ward, I mentioned somewhat of my background, But I have no intention of going back, mainly I wanted to be what Missionaries call Just friendly.

I think it’s wrong the assumptions of child rape, and polygamy, and also the vandalism of lds churches, even if the catholic church was very much as involved, but the lds church as well in blocking prop 8. I wanted to offer symphony to vandals whom are destroying church property around the bay area and the world.
also have made some contact with the local lds leadership and let them know how I feel, but also feel the vandals destroying the church property here in the bay area is wrong, two wrongs don’t make a right

Furthermore My therapist referred me to another nonprofit which can help me renter legitimate employment rather than hanging around bookies, loan sharks, money laundering or other illicit activities.

The list
1.) Post office
2.) Copy documents
3.) Work on website
4.) Lyon Martin
5.) Update resume and send off cover letter


Grattuide list

1.) Grateful to have a wonderful therapist
2.) Grateful to have this opportunity I’m working on
--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Thursday, December 04, 2008
Furthermore, I had a productive day yesterday and spoke to my sponsor this morning. I also have a plan of action. I also continue to grow had an interesting expanse this week in the world of young transsexual woman.
Experience #1
Was in the main branch of the san Francisco public Liberia had a bunch of asshole construction workers make a slur at me ignored them.
Esperance’s #2
Had a guy call me “pretty young thing” and some old lady snapped and ousted me
Experience number #3
Had some punk drug dealer say that woman hit her face on the pole

I am enjoying my pink curser.

Gratitude List
1.) Grateful to have food, clothing and shelter
2.) Grateful to be sober
3.) Grateful to have friends, family and loved ones whom care about me
4.) Grateful to be alive.
5.) Grateful to have a program and the 12 steps

The List
1.) Copy documents
2.) Send documents to dlg


Furthermore, I talked to my sponsor about my Transgressions toward christen, and am making amends by moving on with my life, and leeting go of the past, and working my steps and program in all of my affairs.
--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

The trip to the San Francisco Housing authority was a bombshell, and reality struck me in. I think im going to aim for a co-op of some type after I get my finance, and legal issues ironed out. Furthermore, I continue to grow as a person and my journey.

I Purchased a bicycle via craigslist. It works well, and I enjoy it and feel like a kid, I posted a photo on my blog. A pink 26 women’s cruiser with a 7 speed shifter, I do need to add a front brake, and buy a helmet I brought a medium duty u lock and am going to upgrade to something stronger given its flashy.


I am going to drop in with Clair today. I also am going to follow up a few places for employment, and Leeds I discovered. I had a good bike ride to bay view, and through the finance distract this morning all the way up to castro. .Breaking for lunch and to drop by before headed back to homebase, and to drop off my bike at the storage garage.


Then dinner, tv, and some r&r. I think. I have some goals I wish to achive, and I am working on them. I also have a few other things, I am working on. Equality, better housing, and the califrornia dream.
I added some content to my site and updated a few other things I also added a few photos for irony
--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Slept well last night, awoke early this morning, I continue to grow as an individual. I miss my family, I miss my grandmother often, I daily want to call her, and cannot, I wish she was still here. But people grow old and die, and she died just how she wanted in her sleep, or just starting to wake up sort of.

I continue to work on things and making amends, spoke to BMCD last night, I also have been growing in recovery from the most fucked up form of christen religions, Mormonism. I guess Ill make it here in San Francisco, I worked hard to build roots here.

I continue to grow as a young woman. I talked a bit somewhat, and opened up alas a bit more. I have a plan of action for my future, which I discussed with BMCD last night she’s OTR in Wisconsin, I owe a lot of my continuous soberly in san Francisco to her

She purchased her own truck an 1999 volvo, pretty basic but comfortable. And is enjoying life as an owner operator. She is a good friend to have and I owe many of my positive choices to having her as a friend in the city of San Francisco.

Furthermore, I look for someone to fill the better half of whets missing in my life, family, and love. I met someone recently whom I strongly suspect is an semi-active potential future member of aa. She is thirty three years old also a transsexual-woman post op with five surgeries. She is someone whom we have an attraction and lives out in the Richmond district of San Francisco.

Im glad I filed and sent the medical health directive, more recently to family members. Incase Im injured giving power of atty and to maintain my appearance and refer to me properly so Im not cut up like many trans women are.

Furthermore the prop 8 bullshit and the LDS Involvement in the matters which don’t concern them. Have a present employment, educational, and other adgendas on my planner, I have a lot to achive it just takes time to get there




Gratitude List
1.) Grateful to be alive
2.) Grateful to be sober
3.) Grateful to be in San Francisco
4.) Grateful to have friends, family and loved ones who care about me
5.) Grateful to have food, clothing and shelter

To Do List
1.) Follow up with interview
2.) Call sponsor
3.) Meeting
4.) Update will and send to individuals
5.) Send documents to finance companies for name change.
--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Slept good last night, awoke early as usual. Took care of business, have some banking and matters to take care of this morning, went to our lady of safeway meeting, saw a shit load of cops this morning doing a robbery case.


The sf weekly did an ok story but a bit broad sided toward the scantuary city policys, I do think it helped even if show some areas where the Transgender community needs to overcome its sterotypes. I also think we grow.

I have a lot on my adgenda this week, Check in at hud, check with the bank, cosmetic work to be done, doctors appointment at lyon martin womens clnic. I also spoke to MB he didn’t know I was trans, asked me, I think he even has more respect for me now, I am a pretty brave person and individual and obviously pass well.


Furthermore, I grow.

Grattuide List
1.) Food, clothing and shelter
2.) Money in the bank
3.) Family, loved ones and friends.
4.) To have my health, youth and beauty


Im sending some photos home to the folks who have not seen me in a very long time. I also have some other things Im also photocopying a health care directive as well to send to MLS, MCG, DLG and MM



The list
1.) Banking
2.) Send photos home
3.) Look at new shoes
4.) Preparation work
5.) Send off resume
--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Friday, November 28, 2008

I thought I might add my new phone should be arriveing shortly and than Ill be moving it over to in market and closeing out a dark chapter of right wing christen, latter day saint nut job gone wild, not a very happy place, earlier in the week I destroyed my old texas, and Louisiana social security cards, drivers licenses and moved on beyond past transgressions, no pun intended. Closure is good, I mentioned to my sponsor my transgressions and how I was able to move on which pleased my sponsor.

Furthermore I discovered moue about myself I emailed my resume to borders, and also will try to follow up today at blockbuster. Furthermore, I will discover more about life. Talked to my sponsor some about my living situation.

I also composed a few other documents for some things, I had some photos printed of me off my photo bucket for the reason of sending home tend to relatives with the documents incase I’m injured soon as well, so family, loved ones and others can have photos of me. I also plan to retake my dam photo yet again soon 

Moreover, I am going to mail some of these documents, and the photos to DLG, MLS, and MCG, and a few other individuals. In January Ill have 18 month’s sober, as my sobriety date remains 7-13-2007 Houston, Texas.

I also have someone whom is TG and Lesbian oritend and we might start dating she’s a post op I believe, we might be a success story, I think the attraction and some common interests are there, we plan to meet for coffee, we also are in the same age range 25-35 crowd, shes a bit older than me, Im twenty seven she is thirty three.

Onward, getting my geek on. I Purchased an at&t tilt or HTC Tytn II as its known and has gps navigation hsdpa, 3g, wifi, and is an awesome windows mobie smartphone, and has the blackberry email service. And is highly hackable and has a keyboard, touchscreen, and other nifty features.
--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger
Friday, November 28, 2008

Had a wonderful meeting at our-lady of safeway this morning. Had a wonderfull speaker. I changed some code on my website and have some thoughts and thinking about where to go now?

I also have been working on a few other things, I destroyed my outdated Louisiana and Texas ID and documents as I no longer have any need for such things, I moved on and my sponsor is proud of the closure I found.

I awoke about 2am this morning, and cleaned up and groomed and things like that. I also updated some files on the server. The best way I can bring closue to my right wing christen past, is to let go of transgressions in Texas, Houston, New Orleans and move onward.

Things come quickly, sometimes slowly.

Gratuide List
1.) Grateful about my job prospect
2.) Grateful about my friends, and support
3.) Grateful about being alive
4.) Grateful to be able
5.) Grateful to be sober

The list
1.) Mail / post office
2.) Mail photos home
3.) Call friend
4.) Meeting
5.) Send resume out to employers
--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Thursday, November 27, 2008


Slept well last night, awoke early this morning. Not as early as a planned, I continue to grow as an individual does. I continue to grow this Thanksgiving Day, what am I thank full for.
1.) Escaping Mormonism
2.) Escaping religion
3.) Hormones / transition
4.) My income
5.) My family
6.) My sponsor
7.) Escaping and moving on from Texas.
8.) Life
9.) Being alive
10.) Health



Im just doing ok
--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger