Monday, December 31, 2007

The reality is, I learned more about myself, did laundry, the non profit is not open today to whom some items will be donated to, took care of myself slept good after the al-anon meeting last night. Rested and took care of myself, had to leave the al-anon meeting to rest and take care of my issues, and lack of rest and sickness in my eye from smog, and to much time out doors, in space city.

Had the new battery installed in my pick em truck today, packed out rested gave the shop vac to manual and others, took care of business and other affairs. Called the folks, installed code, talked to Brandi last night, rested. I also took care of other affairs later and more recently.

Packed more and more into life, the future of the unknown, faith in myself, loving myself and a fresh start. Not to make mistakes in Houston elsewhere. I follow in my fathers footsteps of becoming a drunk, under pressure. Not to mention I have become the bitch my mother was, and the insanity of running with size ours the movie I watched more recently, enlightened me to the insanity I faced.

I also know I am making this move for the correct reasons for myself, life and a chance at being alive into enlightenment, love and myself. If I am going to start transitioning again which is partial reason for my utter depression and panic, wanting what I once had peace with my true self, which drinking, disorder, rasping hell and panic and chaos became the norm.

As we roll into this new year my result ions and goals are as follows

Become more humble, honest, outgoing and loyal and open up more

Accept myself, transition in the city of my new home

Continue going to meetings in sfo and ignore others selfishness.

Love myself, life and enlightenment.

Become self-aware with my new therapist active

Go back to school, live at the Y and old hotel much as my father got his roots as a poor kid from the Bronx

Also be true to myself, and not over judgmental, hypocritical, evil and minuscule and more kind to others.

I also know I might and will in my program of aa and enlightenment come to face those I wronged this is not to run away but because I am unable to get the medical care I need, and want to be treated as a equal, the unawareness

I know upon my arrival with the conucleing housing and other things I found, SFO has a lack of a on-line transgender community, I plan to go into activism, lobbyist, and awareness for Trans gender cause which they treat us more as equals there under law.

I also know I want to help other women and trans women with aa- and medical care, nursing or social work and IT are my areas of interests and general business and sales, I like power, trust and responsibility. I am getting old Ill be 30 soon, and need to work toward my gaols and bottom out more in to humility.

--
Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 66471
Houston, Texas 77266-6471
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)