I also reviewing my server content know folks still care read my blog. I think folks quit careing when I quit caring and be a self centered stupid bitch, I turn the bitch switch on and bitch them away.

I don't like being like that I try and be alone, and get like that when I don't go to meetings, and say fuck aa, fuck sonny, fuck them all. I want better and intellectually grasp the concept. But application I over thing things and selfishly want them now, my way or the highway thats being a super bitch.

Regardless, I have made my mind up. I grow tired of the pain the prospect of depression I cope with daily, as do suicide, but I wont do it thats why I blog to share, reflect my past, present future and path to enlightenment. I don't like staying at home my truck is my safe place, its where I feel safe, its my lone ranger to adventure. I urn for a medium to mid size dog a corgi mix, or something 25-35 lbs a medium dog that makes me feel safe, secure and is my friend probably a bitch (no pun intended) given they are smaller and would be more comfortable in my truck with my dream of going to the burning man fest, hosting meetings in my Baja camper.

Maybe even doe some trans gender awareness and activism. Thats my dream on my move to cail, if my blog changes, educates this is my first Christmas totally and proudly out, free of the latter day saint church, free of abuse, free of my abusers but still not comfortable at home.

Ive over come my feelings of hate, wanting to be judge, jury and hang woman. Wanting to take out the 5 males that abused me, accepted the fact maybe Not reporting the crime is a good thing for, me to let go. To move on. To live not exist.

I even have dreamed somewhat of a Gem top shell for my truck maybe do mobile DJ work through going back to school, collage and living in a BAJA rv action, adventure a truck, camper and girl with her dog apples to me. I want a nice pop up with mud tires to go with my 4x4 Baja pickup truck

I urn for one with a shower, toilet and maybe solar and a/c fridge (3way) and a gas LP furnace maybe carry a portable generator or one mounted on, solar panels would be awesome for the fest and a outdoor shower. But sun showers are fun

Even though I have the tough butch ext, I am more of a femme I just don't like to be stupid like some chicks and like my independence which pisses me off I don't fucking have and I did this all to my fucking self dammit. You selfish bitch :-(

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Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 66471
Houston, Texas 77266-6471
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)