The truth is, I recently made some transgressions, poor choices out of wanting the fairy to wave the magic wand, now I have some creep and a few creeps calling me. Some pig headed fuck doesn't want to leave me alone an understand no means no. I grow tired of this bullshit and being fucked with.
In other news, I am sick and tired of following society stereotypes, and rules. I don't want to be someone I am not anymore, I am willing to be humbled and bottom out more by shutting the fuck up and be dumped into the garbage of the cesspool of the street.
I am willing to jump ship to archive my goals, and desires. I don't know if I will the best thing I can do for me is to cut all family ties and start over elsewhere from rock bottom where there is better trans gender awareness, laws and protections I have pondered, mediated and prayed for this humble feeling.
I am willing to rough it out where there is a shelter that will take me, cut ties to Houston, Texas and the Trans gender community locally who I have hurt badly. I make this choice in my sane mind. I have been rejected 3 times trying to get help for things and have given up on the state of Texas, Harris county and the city of Houston. Its selfish to be put in with a bunch of males, and men and be hurt and further psych trammeled in the rest. The united states economy stinks, and funding sucks due to a war we have no reason being part of thats bush shit.
I am growing tired looking forward to my birthday on jan 18th and traffic court a week or so before my birthday.
To whom it may concern:
I am composing this letter of my sane mind, and of my own free will. I want to let you whom I sent this letter to how I feel. I shall remain very brief, in my feelings. I hurt I am alone, scared and tired of being sick and Tired, I am still sober, and sane as of Friday July, 13th 2007.
I have tried to get help from the state of Texas, Harris county and other resources I have been denied over and over again. I am tired of being sick and tired. While I am and have considered self-termination, I chose life, I wanted to share with you I am NOT going to harm myself, or others and I am alive and well. But I must walk away from what I had once what I have now for my spiritual journey for myself, and interpersonal growth.
Please know that I love you and don't want to cause you any further pain, and that I am alive and well and want you to know that by me leavening my possessions, items, truck and other things behind. I am alive and well and of sane mind and body. And please do not try and find me.
I love DLG, PMG, MLS and thank you for everything you have done for me. But I must do this for myself. Please do not try and find me. For Christan, and others I have harmed locally, and scared and terrorized and done verbally, and death threats to other local people. I am not mad at you, I am leavening so I don't cause you any more pain, or harm. And I know you love me and understand more. Thank you.
I want my father, and MLS to know That I am not going to look them up, my father does not need to call law enforcement or his Friends that are in the FBI over our fights. I want to ask that DLG and PMG does not try and locate me to please leave me alone. And never try and contact me. I am grateful for what You have done But I have to do this for me, please treat me like a adult and person and respect my wishes.
I want to tahnak Nancy B, Kathy F, and Shannon for their support, My wonderful therapist Melanie Morrison, and others who helped, I love you and I am grateful for you. But please leave me alone Please don't try and find me. I need to leave this town.
I have left for more than likely CA,OR,WA or Canada or possibly Co or parts of the pacific north west. I want you to know I love you and please respect my wishes I will contact you when I am spiritually ready for the task right now in my dealing with my trans gender issues, depression and hate crime and staying sober is more important to me. I cant harm myself, much less anyone else sober so I have left to seek help and I am going where I can get or try and start my life over. I love you all and Please respect my wishes. And pray, hope to your higher power or god of your understanding for such matters.
I also want to thank Christan Williams, lily Reilly, the glbt community center, lambda center, Houston area community services, faith, god, the church of jesus Christ of latter day saints, taft street coffee, inversion coffee, cafe artiste, mid town bbq, dennys, the city of Houston, state of Texas, Harris county, etc.
I am leaveing to start over in humble, and simple surroundings Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers I will celbrate my 27th birthday as my true self after traffic court.
I would also apricate if you must dig into my life here please dont. I have not been totally inciona and commited some acts, and the flashbacks and bad memories haunt me badly and hurt and hurt dearly.
I have to continue my path, program and soberity start over humble, simple, and without much contact from my past and cut ties and maybe long term come back to visit. Its my program and I have pondered over it the plan and date and trip is set
--Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 66471
Houston, Texas 77266-6471
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment