11/12/07

I told my neighbor last night that I accdiently had her food that feel out the bag when the drunk homeless guy almost called a accident, lately ive been a bit bitchy goddess of the universe type feeling when I am sick I am well brutally honest.

I slept most of today with my nasty sinus infection and committed to melanie I will do the mhmra and my sponsor before thanksgiving as a result of not going today I committed to go tomorrow and forfeit our appointment or see if she can squeeze me in later in the week, kathy has been a good 2^nd sponsor for me tomorrow I pick up my 4 month chip.

My neighbor was honest with me even though it upset me. I was honest and I am becoming more honest, and grateful and kind and less attention whoreish and working on myself. I abused myself. Yesterday some drunk guy was driving down weigh when I went out to get more medicine and well chased after me he didn't like I called him a drunk and a few obscenity and remarks, today some guy was talking on the phone and I was selfish and pissed him off and he opened my trucks door and avoided a fight.

I know I am kind and more conservative and nice, and well want something more. I have leared forgiveness and ray and I see more and more on issues. And I talked to hima bit tonight. I hope I can repair damage I have done. But I have to fix the cobwebs in my brain.

I have committed to leave here at some point my dream is in science and engineering and Information tech. I want to maybe get a A+ certification before I leave here, get working at good grocery store whole foods has good gender incigve policy's. It my plan, eventfully maybe transfer so the bay area go back to school more, or possibly move to DFW or Austin. I have friends in other areas.

I uploaded some more content to my site, also talked to my neighbor and have more well honesty even if maybe all along I was angry at myself and selfish in my own twisted way. I don't sleep much anymore I resent not taking justice, but also Have decided against as much as I wanted to take the law into my own hands regarding victor, john, henry, carl, henry, james, elmadeans mistreatment of me. In the end they got their own shit. Elmadean went to jail, john got fired, and james got busted also.

The others will get it one day, just not from me. I have to learn to live, trust and go back to casual conservative me and I left a lot in that apartment behind due to not wanting to put up with the abuse, my safe place is my truck, thats my zone I don't like to stay at home just because my home and my truck has been well taken from me to speak.

I want a roomies, but no pets I want someone to be at home and cuddle with but not a big fluffy pet. My neighbor and I have become closer and she confided and me and I did in her, I might take her to a meeting now and than. I just need my solitude at the present. I hope I can make a living amends, I have sort of changed habits to move away from areas not wanting to run into people I have wronged even though I know I will sooner or later when my power gives me such.

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Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 66471
Houston, Texas 77266-6471
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)