11/11/07

I know why people feel the way about me. I have a bad rep. I know I need help have admited defeat, my sponsor and I are going tommorow to the place I do not want to go. I made bad choices and pay the cost as such.

I went to get my neighbour fried chicken today, at the horrid main street fiesta. And made strides in honesty, and in therpey and I have love of some degree and need to be more greatful.

I also am going to mhmra today, I have a crush at the present even though I shall not disclose it. I am feeling better today and well I overcame fear also. Made up with brandi today. And well hurt often, and my neighbour has a negative view of being well who we are. I never did the sex thing, but sex for money or sex for drugs is wrorse, I have high standards and even though I had some bad sex and some I regret. I dont do it. I would rather live in poverty or on the streets.

My neighbour whom I have grown to loathe living next door to be has confieded in me more, and I have with her more. I go walking and do my fitness. She also told me she ran into some folks and they told her I was bad news, which I understand and respect and also told others I am cleaning up my life.

I have friends somewhat, and some who dont understand and some who dont get it. I hurt and dont know where or what I am going, but know what I want to do and first things first. I also know I am progressing and maybe need some help getting better and I have someone that is going to pull stings tami at mhmra for more and to do right, and I know where I want to go.

I have let go of the past with chris, and also the abuse and understand I will never get justice for the injustice those dirt bags did to me. And well I am better. I love and live again to a degree and love being alive and I am very greatful for life.

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Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 66471
Houston, Texas 77266-6471
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)