Monday, Janary 12, 2009
Today I had some business to do at The Federal Building, I actually passed with an older and younger Federal Procreative Service Officer even was checking me out.

Nevertheless, I thought I would make a few confessionals. It’s something that occurred to me, at one time with some of the girls I used to make rounds about when I drink alone, in Houston I was invited with some VIPs on a few occasions. Once I was shy and scared, perhaps from Law & Order SVU: Fallacy and watching the Gwen a

Recently with the wonders of Face book, I discovered more about myself. I discovered some old High School Friends and Foes, not a chapter I want to remember. Nevertheless, I’ve made some outing in the closet.

I mean all of my life I have treated friendships as dispensable, usable and also just removable. I don’t even know how long I will remain in Frisco, I don’t like it here, even if it’s a GLBT Capitol of the United States of America. I dream of Los Angles’.

I have more photos I am going to upload soon.

But I want to state something to people I’m geographically separated from, family members, loved ones, and even people I’ve hurt or people that still care about me even if you’re not in my life for whatever reason.
This is my informal statement:
“I love you, I am grateful for everything anyone has given me, for once in my life I am alive, I am being myself. Please just let me find myself; find my place, path, and way. I am not angry with you, I hope you can forgive me from the bad times, and remember the good.

I want to make amends, and love but I need my space and to be alone. In addition, if anything should ever happen to me, either by someone else’s hands, or not. Give them a chance for forgiveness, but also make sure they pay for what they did to me. I loved life and lived. I know who I am as an Individual and that is priceless, and I am an incredibly brave woman”
I suppose the nightmares are better, lately my legs have cramped up, I have started my new diet, and working on my exercise commitment, and changed my lifestyle a bit.

Today I was shocked from my paper guy, in the BART station it went up from twenty five cents for the San Francisco Chronicle to Fifty Cents Inflation is a bitch.

Recently on one of my excursions for personal and work, and pleasure to the East Bay, I witnessed an gender variant individual being hassled by a Transit driver, I felt poorly for keeping quiet during Trans-Phobia, but they were nice to me and some folks in the bay area Im stealth to.

I honestly don’t like being angry, alone and selfish, attention-whorish, and so much like my mother with the fucked up childhood she gave me, and my father abandoned me. But I can’t turn back time. I only make the best with what I have, one day at a time.
--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
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http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
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