Wednesday, April 23, 2008


4/23/08


The reality of myself, and who I am as an in divudal sets clear, I discussed with ray, how much though I dont idol him, worship him or woriship 12-step meetings, I have been icolating, and wanted to tell him I love him, I think I would be in jail or prison or drunk or dead or have gone on a viglantie spree, if I had not found (again) when I was ready the fellowship of AA.



The reality is, I have much to commit, for myself and what I need to do. I plan and take on to much it is one of my flaws, but on a postive note, I put others before myself, and I contunie to progresss, into enlightment and zen. I signed up and contacted someone for the rent control canvising for the city upcoming election.


I further more went to my morning meeting, and ave a few other commitments for myself and life and progressive enlightenment for myself. I spoke up for myself, and further more others spoke up as well, ray taught me the proper


I ate ok, some grilled veggies, and also drank water and of course coffee, sent e-mails, called a few old friends, I also am going to do my DPS drivers license soon, and travel soon, and go pick up my pickup truck in Phoenix pending transport.


I have an appointment with a worker and therpsit, and other things. And other things, enrol met at the collage in a few weeks an appointment at the law center, this moring, some other lady stood up as I did in fear, the board meeting and we will do something about it, amazingly the group as sq whole or at least today doesn't feel unsafe, but about 1/.3 or us do.


Not to focus on that, but the group does agree each day he is drinking in the meeting, and carrying multiple cornfield weapons needs to be addressed and asked to leave, one day at a time. Seems to be the consensus, now he feels I am “working against him for the police” I fear for my safety, now I am in the postisit others put me i9n, but I am being assertive and confidant which I did not before, I used to be a drunk, paranoid, homophobic, trans-phobic, cold heated bitch, and that is changing one day at time 9 months 14 days later, it works!


Furthermore, I am making progress and becoming more secure withmyself without drinking, or abusing drugs similar to Barry bonds, one of san Francisco's shame, who disappeared form AT&T park like a Mafia style hit, without a trace.


Eyes with out a face, but I have voice, I slept well and took a shower and worked my program and took good care of myself, and continue to progress in my program and working my life.














--
Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

No comments: