my feelings and postive thoughts, affermations, and not being a selfless bitch today

10/24/07

My wonderful sponsor wants me to write daily about things to be grateful for. I am grateful to have a wonderful therapist, to be sober, and not be getting in trouble. Working my very painful list of those I have wronged. Working on myself, tax, debit, job hunting and faceting my very much pain and starting over toward transition and boasting my fragile confidence, and inner soul.

I met someone whom is also trans and we care a lot about each other from out of town but in the lone star state, I am hurting very badly with the pain.

I am glad, to have sobriety, a roof over my head, a truck and people who care, and some who care and had to let go of me for ethical reasons, their own sanity, and also because of bad self-distractive actions to myself, and others out of personal safety and the greater good of a community as a whole.

Hopefully they will contact me to make amends, or fate will bring it. But I am actually shy, quiet and laid back. I am learning a lot about myself. Or think I am.

I ate a stuffed salsa , jalapeno veggy wrap today, and had a baked potato. In other news. I e-mailed my father today. And send brand the ghost stuff for haunted Houston when she keeps on trucking. Talked to Jennifer late last night.

And prayed and cleaned house, My neighbor has been missing for almost a week, I never knew how much I missed her, and oddly enough a tire and rim showed up. I wonder what the fuck is going on if she moved out, or is drinking or using drugs. I hope she is ok.

I've been thinking about GM lately, wondering if she is still sober. But I need to be alone,I have been saving my chips for her. I think about her a bit. We became to close to fast.

I also went to two meetings today one at lambda, another at primary porpoise. And hung outside at Taft street today. And mailed some packages and sent some bills off and did some job hunting.

--
Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 66471
Houston, Texas 77266-6471
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)