Its just after 5pm on friday, I have discovered something my therpsit says I am EMO even after she didnt know what it means, 2 other people have told me that. So I accept I am, I am a ungreatful, selfish emo bitch.
Anyway I have admited defeat, I remebered more recently a wrong I commited, the da-javu I had another person hit on me today, and got invited to two more halloween partys, and I thought for my friend and loyal blog reader I would explain everyday is halloween, excpet today.
Its a joke about the titled song from ministry as follows:
(Everyday is) Halloween
well i live with snakes and lizards
and other things that go bump in the
night cos to me everyday is halloween
i have given up hiding and started to fight
i have started to fight well any time,
any place, anywhere that i go all the
people seem to stop and stare they say
'why are you dressed like it's halloween?
you look so absurd, you look so obscene'
o, why can't i live a life for me?
why should i take the abuse that's served?
why can't they see they're just like me it's
the same, it's the same in the whole wide world
well i let their teeny minds think that they're
dealing with someone who is over the brink and
i dress this way just to keep them at bay
cos halloween is everyday it's everyday o,
why can't i live a life for me?
why should i take the abuse that's served?
why can't they see they're just like me it's
the same, it's the same in the whole wide world
o, why can't i live a life for me? why should i
take the abuse that's served? why can't they see
they're just like me i'm not the one that's so
absurd why hide it?
why fight it? hurt feelings best to stop feeling
hurt from denials, reprisals it's the same it's the
same in the whole wide world
In other news I have been dreaming and admiting defeat, and hanging in there, the atty and others who need, documents and other things dont neeed them presently, I talked to brandi late last night, got hit by a old ford econoline rusty blue simular to what a old friend used to drive. And got knocked across the street, which I got hit by one when I was 17 prior also. During my frist time in trouble with the jefferson parish sheriffs office, and kept me legit, redneck, and doing my ways, and doing right by unhappy.
Sometimes I see my future unreachable, my wrongs, un fixable, and fear going to get help but told my therpsit I would go over to MHMRA elgalbilly center on monday, and will see her on thrusday. The more she pushs me the less I want to go, even though I need to follow the white rabbit and just do it already, The bitch switch and emo switch is off.
I am huritng because, I know I am wrong, but am afrid I will be locked up and have the key thrown away, and must do it outside the loony bin given I dont have health coverage and dont need homelessness or lossing my truck or what Little I have left. Anyway one day at a time, I might go to the engine room tonight or someplace, else but I am not certain.
I am so very depressed and I am not myself, today I am a bit happyer I talked to brandi into the wee hours of the morning on the phone, and rested I am sore from the accident last night took a hot shower and felt better. I am unhappy because I am someone I am not, but Have to work toward transition through soberity, one day at a time, and first things first.
A OLD POST GOOGLEING MYSELF
Gay - Kathryn Mcinnis Gay, On Tuesday 10-23-2001 . Mother Of Mcinnis Lee Gaetjens, Sister Of--
Daniel L. Gay And Martita L. Smith, Daughter Of Patricia Mcauliffe Gay And Of The Late James M. Gay.
She Was A Native And Lifetime Resident Of New Orleans. Arrangements For Cremation Handled By All Faiths
Funeral Home. Masses Appreciated.
Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 66471
Houston, Texas 77266-6471
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment