The reality of enlightment for myself, and inner peace is slow, hard and painful though the good bad and ugly. I know as of late, I have been a utter, cold hearted bitch, but at least, I manged to keep my pain under some type of control, but alas I am sliping and moving forward.

I feel as if socitys over judgemental, hate, AND insane librials do much, not to say I am not libral in my own ways, just there comes a point of well takeing action.

Anyway I was successful in fileing my paper work and the bay area reporter will publish such documents in compliance with legal bull shit.

I ate sort of ok, and need more water but for the most part am doing quite well and plauable.\

I went to my meeting, have a few errands to run, and also have a few other spots. The blackouts, confusion, and irritabely are not as bad. I look forward to getting a MRI & CATSCAN, I feel as if my medical condtion at birth has worsened. I feel as if I am slipping. I want the insane things to end. I also feel very alone, and helpless, and don’t want pity or someone to do for me. I don’t like asking for help, but I don’t want to drink anymore, I want recovery and some of us are sicker than others, I want the pain to end, I want recovery and healing and inner most enlighment.

I want more for myself, and life, and enlightment and inner most peace, and want more and more recovery, and want more of a soul, and enlightment for my innerself.

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Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
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