Sunday, September 21, 2008

Why I left Houston, and the power of faith, the dark side or resentment

I moved to Houston in 2005 with bright hopes and prospects for Transition, change and getting away FROM my family so I could work on my true self.

I left in shame, guilt and having the clarity of how wrong, I was. I left for spirituality, to raise the bottom in a controlled affirming manner. I left for a new life, and the California dream, and American dream. I left foot the right reasons. I often wonder what if, but that is dwelling on the past.

Moving onward, I have a bit to do in the next few weeks. I have to see about my grant, for going back and getting my CDL again, I also have a few other things, talked to Mark E, yesterday as well.

I am so much like my mother, I look like her we have some of the same defects of personality; I like being alone and a bit of a hermit when mobile. It’s not that I don’t meet people; I just actually enjoy for the most part being alone and doing the right thing. I know I could be amazingly popular, and problem am but I’m sort of a woman of mystery.
Life, and daily thoughts
Slept good last night, awoke early this morning. Had coffee ate good this morning, met with PV this morning to take care of a few affairs and work I’m going to do for PV. I also printed a letter, yesterday foolishly gave into my addiction of food, and anorexia, at a chili cook-off.

Had a nice hot shower this morning, ate hash browns and coffee for breakfast. Wrote this letter studied a bit the CDL study guide for the written part of the exam, I still want to get on with SF MUNI. I don’t know why, I like the hours, the grueling task of working in a male dominated industry the fitness, the future long term of being a diesel dyke, and the open road, miles of intrastate cumbrance, ports, cities, and seeing the united states of America.


I also spoke to someone in the program, or my programs
AA, Debtors Anonymous, Food Addicts Anonymous, Bulimics Anonymous, Gamers Anonymous, Internet addicts anonymous. The Further discovery of myself, and life and self-awareness of my inner sprit and self.

Gratitude List.
1.) Grateful for the fact I have a life, and am building one
2.) Grateful for being able to express my feelings
3.) Grateful to be able to be of service, and less of a selfish bitch
4.) Grateful to be Honest, Loyal and committed in my programs and dealings with others
5.) Grateful to be able to be sober, and have physical, emotional and mental clarity
--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
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