Saturday, September 6, 2008

I have found some reason to my recent sadness, and reality check. I want more than anything for the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints to open its doors for me. I want more, and miss church, and it hurts my faith is un-welcoming to me, and also leading the fight against prop 8.

I also have been sick my blood pressure and sugar are a bit low and obscure as well Im tired of hurting and so sick and tired of being sick and tired.

I also know that why I am sad, Its sucks to be young and preety and transgender, maybe I have resentments on my life, how I came out, accepted myself, events in Houston, San Francisco, New Orleans.

I miss Houston quite a bit, but I have no place to go, and no one I would turn, to maybe I feel I should crawl under a rock and hide. I also feel guilt shame, and embarrassment over some things I rembered I did when I drank, and I don’t quiet know how to process the information and overload of clarity.
I also know I am a natrul born leader and likeable when I work a good program in life. But the truth be told, I also enjoy it with my power driven, economicly, power, capitalist-ruthless cut-throat bitch personality.

I like power, money, the finer things in life, control, influence and dommnation of the world, people fear me because I don’t fit gender sterotypes so individuals whom are afraid of me. I don’t like the fact that Im not an agel, but a theif or a laptop theif I am not. I don’t like the fact that I feel my ass is being kissed, and people think I stole a laptop and I did not steal, it nor do I know who did it.

I don’t like the fact that SFPD was down my ass in this, and I might be in trouble for something I didn’t commit, I don’t like the fear of being charged for something I had no part in, nor do I know who has the laptop.

Its upsetting to me, that I am implyd in dishonesty, or theft. Its upsetting in me, that I would not even call Houston or Phyllis for help, or even could ask for such in some matters, and I think christen might be headed to SFO to double-cross me.

I don’t trust many individuals, and fear of my world crashing down is not very pretty for me. I dislike law enformcent very much, my beef with SFPD is their mistreatment in Jan& feb 2008, mistaken visual idneity and abuse and mistreatment. And also lack of equil treatment in wanting to file a report and being denied the right to do such. I also am tired of being discrmainated in health care access or If I am very forthcoming to law enfrocment the possibility of being abuse given present cirmstances.
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Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
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