Friday, September 12, 2008

Slept good last night, awoke this morning, and had to take my medicine for my ear infection. Slept very soundly, but not overly tired.. Have to call the California Department of Insurance brokers this morning. To shop for California auto insurance. (because my policy has more lit med coverage in California, Mexico, New York and Canada) and its expiring soon, I also have to send in some regular documents to the insurance company as well.

Furthermore, I have a few places I may start applying for part time work. Or I might wait till I have my truck, Leigh Might be the messenger, courier, deliver girl again. I might even trade my truck for a moped, or motorcycle and let someone else take over the loan. (I doubt Ill let my baby go) That truck has been through two terms of George w bush, it’s been driven though in Texas, Louisiana, Arizona, Mississippi California, New Mexico, Nevada, Origen, Washington Sate and into British Columbia, and Nevada Leon Providences, Of Mexico and Canada.

I have a bond with that truck; I also had my spiritual awakening in the driver’s seat. That is priceless, as Charlton Hesston once said, Over My cold dead hands.
Self-Assessment
1.) Work On being so overly judgmental
2.) Work on being less of a bitch
3.) Work on my self-hate and hate of others
4.) Work on my controlling and dominating personality
5.)
Gratitude List
1.) Grateful that I am learning more about myself
2.) Grateful that I have drive and can remain focused and disciplined in a place where it’s easy to lose focus
3.) Grateful that I know about myself..
4.) Grateful That I can talk about my suppressed feelings and child hood expanses and have understood I want to use my pain, suffering and drama to help others going through similar experiences (Its why I started blogging in the first place I’m Out the closet and public with my life to help others)
5.) I am grateful to have finished with my name change, social security change, Have my new social security card, and Have my new California Drivers License.





As Of Late I’ve felt and through about going home to New Orleans for the holidays. To visit folks, and maybe drive to Houston Perhaps. On the other hand, maybe I’ll wait. I have not been home since 2005, I have not really visited it’s been a long, time and I have changed in many ways more than you can probably, understand.


I also know why my father and I have such hostility; in 2006 or 2007, we had bad blood between us. When I got drunk at the pride fest prior. I also figure out some individuals and I just don’t get along, or like each other or are healthy.
Furthermore I’ve thought about long term in life what I want, need and sacrifices I am willing to make to achieve what is right for me at any cost within reason.
Spirituality, I’m going to start staking 15 minutes a day again to mediate and relax, and clear my head I have a location in mind.


My resentment toward myself, guilt, shame, and anger toward past transgressions hurts. My racism, hate, self-hate and homophobia also hurts dearly, but I build grow and prosper, I need to stop being the fucking victim. I know eventfully Ill make it through this, I know I am a strong person spiritually, emotionally and physically I keep myself fit.
--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
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