fear of the unkown, and my own personal jesus, peak-a-boo!

Saturday, September 13, 2008
Myself
Woke up this morning about 2am, out of bed by 3am. Slept Ok, a bit lost, in my soul today. I have a difficult road ahead and a difficult next few months, as well as the harsh pacific coast winter up coming.

Last night after dinner, I took the mission bus down to the mission district. I walked by the infamous Lexington club. I saw someone I am acquainted with but nor like or dislike tossed or intimated out of the Lexington club.
Trans-phobia is a bitch, but she does not really act or carry herself to well. It hurts right now given I stopped my journey for a year some for reasons within my control some for reasons beyond my control. Furthermore, I have a few other things I need to do.

I also observed that I am so resentful and hateful of a individual in Houston, I did everything I could to hurt her, now I’m in similar suction and did not repeat past mistakes. I know she and others do care, Maybe I need my space, and to get through my steps, My heart lies in Houston dearly. I miss Texas a lot, a hell of a lot, but I left per suction, anger, and also resentment. Maybe I felt a living geographical amend was best, perhaps I should let time, and not seeing me around the community would heel old wounds.

Its PISSES ME the FUCK OFF some individuals out me, I am open about myself, people just have to ask, people gwaak at me, maybe I need to change locations a bit, or geographicly relocate. I duno. Ill figure it out, had a good meeting this morning, and made progress, going to visit a prision with a friend as a visitor next week.


Observations

She draws unwanted attention to herself, and I hate to say it needs to work on her appearance, and demeanor. Moreover, she also does the Goth thing, which I have, but it doesn’t look good on her, it draws extra unnecessary attention to herself.
Doing more to take better care of myself, eating less, moving around more, and quit bitching about life, fear, and fear of the unknown. Ive also become a bit more careful as to who I let in my life, and worked on my spiritual meditation.


Dreams

Last night I dreamed of rolling thought the California country side, I won the lottery, and purchased a big F350 king ranch long bed crew cab with a power stoke diesel engine, and 4x4 and the FX4 level II off road package, and a 40 foot 5th wheel with double slides travel trailer with washer and dryer and on board generator and took up residence in the hills in a rv resort and became a plantphriust, and started my own nonprofit and PAC. Moreover, pumped a lot of money into San Francisco, Houston, and New Orleans with grants, fundraisers. In addition, became independently wealthy over night.

I dreamed I got my grandmother a cook, and driver to help her out through her later years, and bought her a brand new Volvo on a custom chassis with a long wheelbase and a custom console for her to put her things in the back seat. And a bright lamp for her bad vision so she can read, or watch tv, or listen to the radio with her own private partition so its easy for her to enter and exit, and she can be comfortable for the rest of her life

The list
1.) Meeting
2.) Check Mail
3.) Print AAA Texas documents and mail
4.) E-mail POTs / DLG
5.) Update files on server
6.) FEDEX Documents to RAP & CRM
7.) Call California Auto Insurance brokerage
8.) Update name and info on title with finance company, and paperwork
9.) Fill out lambda stuff and send documents and donation
10.) Send Letter to Center




























Gratitude List
1.) Grateful for the fact I don’t have to drink or go to bars to feel happy or enlighten or meet people.
2.) Grateful to be sober
3.) Grateful to have the tools to cope and to be alive Lambda Center Saved my life from suicide.
4.) Grateful to be able to be honest and open up more
5.) Grateful to be able to express my feelings
6.) Grateful to know what I want and where I want to go
7.) Grateful to be in good health
8.)



What I would Like to see with the Next President of the United States of America

1.) I would like to see the united states change tariffs to encourage domestic union manufacturing similar to the expired chicken tax of imported light trucks
2.) I would like to see universal healthcare
3.) I would like to see more private and public retirement plans, and benefits
4.) I would like to see us as Americans quit fighting for people whom don’t even agree on a country, push Iraq to be more divided as it once was and make a deal where everyone gets oil, and start withdrawing and be more of a peace keeping on border, and keeping forging fighters out. In addition, allow the Iraq people, which is a war we should have not even started. The Bio wepons and WMD's are long gone to the black market.
5.) I would like us to improve our relations with mother Russia. In addition, missile defense, maybe offer joint control of the system to enable us to stay ON GOOD terms, maybe even allow the UN access to the global missile control system or star wars.
6.) I would like to improve our labor relations with china, and get our union jobs back. Moreover, break up wall-mart as a monopoly.
7.) I would like to kill NAFTA it’s going to kill our infstructirue, union jobs, and hurt Profession Truck drivers and Intrastate commetice
8.) I would like to the the United States department on Entergy spend more money on magnetic accelerator research, and next generation fuel and power plant technology.
9.) I would like to see Transgender federal protections against discrimatnion for any reason, and GLBT marriage bill and non discrimination for federal employees, and active duty armed forces.
10.) I also think we need to improve our domestic transportation such as mass transit, high speed rail, freight trains, and repair roads, rest areas, and offer tax substadys for converting existing autos to duel fuel or alternate fuel, or hybrids.
11.) I would like to see more funding for public transportation
12.) I think we are overdue for reform of social service systems, and also change drug laws to decriminalize users, however have massive penalties for those who endanger others such as injecting.
13.) We need to tighten up our customs loop holes
14.) I think we should have a 50 state amendment of the right to bear arms
15.) I think collages should allow students and teachers, and employees bear arms if they are registered with campus police
16.) I think we should have more immunity from prosecution from protecting our property with firearms from junkies, drugs dealers
17.) I think we need immigration reform, and not amenity but allow those here to have a fair chance to pay off back taxes and work and also capitalize on people who want to work, the union jobs we desperately needs, tradesman, people with skills to build the countries new rail and decaying interstates, us highways, and destruction of natural daystars and clean up from hurricanes, fires, floods, etc.
18.) We need harsher penalties for human trafficking, drug smugglers, and slave labor domesticly and abroad.
































--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger