Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Slept well last night, awoke this morning about 1:30 am, out of bed by 3 am. Went out a bit this morning, had an idea. Have the event to go to this morning as well. I also have a few other things to do this morning.

I’ve been thinking about my program its crap, I mean I’m sober but not always emotionally sober, or emotionally secure. By allowing my inner bitch to hold on to my resentments, shame, guilt in Houston & New Orleans I suffer with anger, pain, and agony, as well as what happened in Dallas, and Austin.

I need to just fucking get over it already, I allow my hurters and abusers to win, by reliving the past with my inner most bitch and drama. My own homo-phobia, hate, and self-hate hurt me. I hurt and burn with anger and well need to fucking focus on today.

I am fucking great looking, in great mother fucking health, and a goddamn good-looking person, and continue to grow. Spoke to Tammy a bit today, going to a meeting in a little while. Moreover, recently I discovered the power of a higher power, and forgiveness.

Nevertheless, it does bother me from a biblical standpoint; the signs are there ninety percent of Americans do not understand how serious the turmoil, war, police state, crash of the markets, and other current events are.

It bothers me to see the biblical end of the world events happening, co-dependence on china, we as human beings have destroyed the plants ecosystem, and are in the process of destroying ourselves.






Going to a meeting.

Gratitude List.

1.) Glad to be sober
2.) Glad to have a plan
3.) Glad to be emotionally strong, and decided toward sobriety
4.) Glad to be in a place where I can be open, and honest towards others
5.) Glad to be myself
6.) Glad to have my own personal Jesus
7.) Glad to have aa
8.) Glad to have folks whom care about me
9.) Glad to be out the closet and who I am
10.) Glad to know what I want out of life.




--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
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(713) 578-0016
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