The chapter to my own gnosticism I discovered more about my inner child, and soul. I also have opened a dark chapter to my past, that needs to be closed, even if not the most progressive manner for myself, I must face the fire and beast of my past.
I hurt dearly and want the pain to end, I know by my action and inactions, I have the right and soul to do and act and be honest and humble even if not the best for me myself, and I. I want the nightmares and dreams and suffering to end. I'm going to be honest with statement I am preparing for the San Francisco FBI Field office for my side of what happened, even facing the outcome, I am tried of struggling with my pain and suffering and portrayal and care to give my side of what happened roughly.
Maybe Justice for my sins, the sins of others toward me, and the philosophy of the factor that I am the wife who's husband came home and hit me, so I smack the kid and the kid kicks the dog, I want truth to be on record even if not pretty, the need for a EDNA and protections for gender and transender folks, the failure of EDNA and why Dennis for president is the only major candidate who drooped out that wanted a national transgender bill of rights, HRC to some degree portrayed us and failed us.
I feel failed by the actions in the Houston Transgender community, I feel hurt and portrayed by what I did but also being swept to the floor, and Chris being more concerned with her job, and outreach rather than the fact I went off the deep end, I was struggling with my transgender issues, my religion at the time ( latter day saint / Mormon) and work, a new city and overcoming my homophobia and trans phobia.
I also was bad for what I did, but I did not desire to be lacked medical care when I was sexually assaulted, I was laughed at when I attempted to report my abuse by my co-workers John, Victor, Henry, Enrique, carl, James,Roswell, elmadean, Tino. I did not desire what happe3ned to me, and I lashed out with my defensive actions.
While the tapering in 2007 saved my life I did not deserve to be tazered over and over again while in handcuffs and beaten in a cluster of patrol cars, I hit my hed, and have suffered memroty loss, I was tazered into signing a medical waver when I asked to go to the hospital, I tragedy to take out the window in the patrol car, I didn't know who I was or how I got there, the device was mis used and abused by the Houston Police department, and as a result I may have suffered nuriligoia damage.
I also feel as if I owe Christan amends, and finical amends to the community I terrorized, I also want to sue civilly given My momron bishop I confided in the abuse at work, and other factors. I feel also the abusive co workers who lived or visited my apartment complex, and terrorized me at home work and I begin drinking and abusing myself and holy temple of a body.
I feel also that I owe some blame, but also the Law enforcement agency's, HPD, Harris county constable, and sheriffs office as well as City of jersey village, and belair police owe some blame as well as some of the hospitals I attempted to seek help, town & country hospital memorial hermian, west houton general hospital.
I feel as if the tizagem and the HPD lt did not respect me as I asked to be called with the proper pronoun, I was wrong in the ways I did my transition and the implication from a community leader that is supposed to be compassionate, and given my massive memory loss from the tazer device and head trauma.
I remember parts and was able to sober up enough to leave, I was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder from server rape, abuse, and panic and stress. As well as depression. I seek help and deal with my issues with my therapist as well.both in my prior county or Harris (Texas) and here In San Francisco, CA
I do have a airline ticket my only intent at the present is to travel to retrive my pickup, truck and return to the san Francisco bay area and go back to school, get back in the work force, transition and start my life over, I was born here, I have a aunt (adopted) in Oakland who is and was close to my dead mother, and I hurt more so and onward for my chapter to my recovery even if dark and depressing.
I also confided in my past and history with some members and my therapist and docot r of the local Trans gender and GLBT community, I am not proud of what I did, but its part of me I dot brag about but I do share with those I close to me, its also very painful, looking at myself in the mirror, I have some injures to my body as a result of I feel the failure of the system, and portrayal also some parts in christens acco
--Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
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