Thursday, July 31, 2008

The reality is I am not achieving much sleep, my body is changing, I am super bitchy, I am tired, and I looked at the place in Oakland Last night near Berkeley and close to Lake Marriet, and the mcauthor BART station, and close to the freeway as well.

I accidently turned off my early am alarms but was out the door in time per say. MUNI Metro this morning was acting up with major outbound delays, I also am sending in some of the Texas DPS paper work for the title and other actions. I also canceled the voluntary surrender for the repo of the ranger, a poor and hasty choice.

Sometimes I disagree on the rights in the 7am church street meeting and general chaos, and also my sponsor does not want to discuss things not related to my primary purpose. I also was deeply offended by someone suggesting not to have contact until I get help, and go to the loony bin. Maybe that person has a problem with his gender indemnity, but not being over judgmental. On the other hand, having someone not to come back for a service commitment, when I have been keeping it sometimes earlier than her.

The fact is that meeting is not healthy mike was allowed around for too long, where we bitch each other out, and those actions from two individuals were wrong, and overjudgemental, yes I can be co-depddant, yes I carve drama and attention, yes calling the police was wrong.

The reality is that is not healthy to new comers per say. The reality is its wrong when folks with 1 year or more to 6months and up and many years of sobriety are fighting with each other. his morning the alano club was very relaxing, for the first time in 3 months I felt GOOD after leavening the meeting, I took my sponsors advice and yada dada it worked!

I go too early morning meetings due to the fact they usually contain individuals who have what I want, and I need to be positive to get positive results in my life, and surround myself around good infualcnes in sobriety, life and overcoming my own Gnosticism and fear of the unknown.

I must do what My part is and what is correct for me, My own personal hell would be allowing someone to take care of me, and co-depdancey, and fear. Well that’s what I present, quite frankly I’ve reached a point where I don’t give a fuck or rats ass about what others think of me, I am tired of being someone I don’t feel I need to be, I am tired of being decimated for sexual orientation, gender idnieity, religion past and current, political views, and general bullshit.
Furthermore, I took My wonderful sponsors Saudi S. Advice and did not attend the meeting on church street, I went to another meeting and ran into other folks at their formerly from Our Lady Of Safe way, I went down to church street and ate some grilled potatoes, onions and garlic.

Have an appointment later at the Transgender Law center, have some documents to print before hand, and a few other tasks for myself, others and general taking care of business. I have a client today, and also might visit high noon.

I also make some progress and am going to do the service commitments at high noon, right now I need two meetings a day, and a break from our lady of Safeway.

I talked to DLG a bit and PMG, left a message with MLS to not much avail guess she is out of town, The place I looked at was near Shattuck and 56th street in Oakland that was not too shabby, I also talked to a few other folks about life.

I also composed and uploaded more code, for my site, the house cat loved me as well. I furthermore continue to grow prosper and in my spiritual path to enlighten and inner peace, and sanity.


Ciao.
--
Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
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