Sunday, July 13, 2008

Today is my birthday, for AA, one year ago I phoned up Ray Hill the same ray hill of the prison show, and hill vs. Houston supreme court. I went to LAMBA Center in Houston and went to a meeting. I have been through hell.

I came to San Francisco January 6th 2008. A bit more than 6 months ago, maintained continuous sobriety, went through co-depeandanctsas, got “86ed” for one year, and 86ed “until further notice from another AA establishment.

My worst AA day recently was a day when I got 86ed form two meetings, and ended up going to 8 meetings in a day, I was tired and had a blackout in San Francisco in 2006 Remembered. This morning after showering and getting nice, I noticed my eyes are blue and as pretty as ever before, I am back down to about 150 lbs and getting slimed and nice.

I attended the TG support group at the pacific center, I also started back therapy, and going to a another counseling program and exploring options, I have a few more sessions at my electrosisit, and this week I get my name and gender change and a few cosmetic options done, I also go get the results of my Hormone Levels.

I had the spiritual awaking of what I did to members of HACS, The Houston Transgender Community, and The remembrance of what UI did at the Day Of remembrance event, the unity bouquet, and various parties I crashed.
I remember various trips to The Houston City Jall, The ICE Immigration and deportation center, The Harris County Jail, The New Orleans Police Sub Station, The San Francisco Sub Station, an Austin Substation, and a Dallas Substation. A Texas DPS I Substation, a California Highway Patrol Sub Station, an LAPD Substation, a NYPD Substation.

I remember being detained for Disorderly Conduct, Lude Conduct, Lying to the police, Suspicion of Murder, Patriot Act, Terroristic Threat, Resisting Arrest, failure to comply with law enforcement officer, evading arrest, abuse of 911, filing a false police report, drunk and disorderly, detained for lineup and being a suspicious person, hold for ITERPOL check, and NCIC.

I remember breaking legs for a Loan Shark, my shady connections a few people I know in various cities have become killed recently by the police, are in jail or prison, or committed suicide.

I admit various things and transgressions to my 10th sponsor and the charm, someone who is a tough and butch as me, pretty and bi-sexual. This morning I had a woman make a pass at me, not the first time, was groped and fondled by surprise I had to end it, it put me in a compromising posit, and the time and place was very inappropriate.

I had a guy this week propose to marry me, I sort of like being the mystery woman, I choose my friends, some try and choose me. I am a good judge of charter; I get up in the wee hours of the morning to attend this meeting because I need to be around positive people and individuals to be more affirming and in good company and spirits.

I want better, I met someone in the program who is Intersexed, I suspected she might be or TG, I do care about her, I didn’t know she was taken or whatever, but I respect others boundaries, Its obscure in California there’s less monogamous realtishionships.

I also had someone start making out with my feet, obscure. I am going walking this morning to the meeting and getting more of a work out, more and more for myself. I also made some friends, and have obtained a Transition mentor I think.
Gratitude List
1.) Grateful for being able to do a honest 4th step
2.) Grateful to be making a living amends tribute to past resentments
3.) Grateful for being alive, sober and aware and in control of my actions, in-actions and emotions.

Im ok, and feel well. Ill be ok and going to a meeting in a bit, Im just a bit tired, bitchy and need my space.
--
Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
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