Life and the progress in San Francisco

Thursday, July 24, 2008


Slept well last night, today working on a few projects for a client, also have therapy today and a few other errands, have a few doctors appointments also, and some research to perform for myself and a few clients.

Had another nightmare last night, I figured out why it’s around the third anniversary of Katrina, talked to DT recently about Louisiana Politics, Katrina, Harvey, and crime and geographical and economic change. Also discussed becoming older, wiser, and being alone. Moreover, hurt and sick.

The past few days the San Francisco Chronicle, The Street Sheet, SF Guardian, Sf weekly have had articles about un-accountability, extreme poverty and homeless and life in general and the seeder sides of areas like SOMA. Tenderloin, Castro, mission, western addition.

My paper work is safe lucky for me, having off site digital document storage, a file room and access to a co-op and other various arrangements, laundry is on the agenda, I also am washing a few things for a client as well as some dry cleaning.

The affirmation LDS GLBT conference for Mormons is coming up or former such in September on the city of angels, a good drive down the coast, as well as some job hunting, and the fact I might have a Transgender Man or a Queer female to go with and roommate at the conference hotel, or maybe get a motel on the outskirts of los Angeles, and split fuel expenses with the trip between us, in my 4 wheel drive tailgate.

I hope things start to go through soon, which they are in partial fashion, the conference could maybe wait till next year as well.



It mind boggles that such and so many GLBT folks , and average Jill and Joes could spread so much hate and tensions in Americas most labial city is so divided and open-minded and over intellectualized. I also feel as for my own political views, and personal reasons, jail or such could be an option, I hate this country, state and would not mind pleasing no congest to a bank robbery, but no weapon, no violence and a note, and spend the rest of my life in jail for Transgender equity, deny parole and repeat over and over. I would be willing to Scarface my life for what I believe, and who I am and for others. Not even attempting to get way, I would want deportation to some place willing, I would surrender peacefully.
That is insanity and crazy talk and would likely never become a reality.

I am a noble person, honest, grateful, outgoing, and stave for independence, I talked to DT yesterday on the phone about if I ever grew old, senile or ill and lost my impedance, I don’t ever want to be in a home and have someone take care of me, financial matters or other affairs.

I also know my narcissism, pain, and drama and inner bitch is not healthy, and nor is my vigalantisim and playing the fucking victim, I even need some accountability for my own actions, life and present cirmstances.

The meeting this morning was good, mike came in again, we had two throw two people, out the police were called, and I had a bad morning, and the nightmares around the anverssy of Katrina, my recovery work on the gulf coast. Lately the nightmares are horrid. I still remeber spending time in New Orleans Pre, Post, Katrina, reliant park, minute maid park and other locations in Space city. I remeber assisting in transport of ammunition to New Orleans for The New Orleans Police Department, working search and rescure in 2005/2006 in Houston a bit for a missing child during the holidays, and also becoming and joking the drunk paaty around that time from being an al-anon.

I called my good aquances ray hill (Houston v. Hill) head of the prison show on KPFT which is occaonaily broadcast in the bay area on KPFA, came to san Francisco Jan 6, 2008 with six months of soberity lived with a friend, than lost it all when they left, I have had hard times but I am sober, and attempting to rebuild my life.

I am greatful today on
1.) Being able to express my feelings, ask for help, respect others boundaries, and also draw the line at myself
2.) Being able to deal with others sickness in a positive affirming manner
3.) Being able to do what I need to do and not bitch about it and choose to surround myself around positive individuals.

I dislike bureaucracy, government and the way of system, but I know how to work through red tape, given my customer service, leadership, and ocd, and desire for protection and being an over-achiever.

I know I try too hard, I just have so much I want to do in life, and never want to grow old, I’ll be 30 soon, but don’t look it, yada.

Anyway duty calls.









--
Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger