Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Tuesday, September 30, 2008
The reality of myself and further development of life.

Slept rather well, going to look at the place in Oakland. Spoke to Mark yesterday a bit by e-mail.
Gratitude List
1.) Grateful I can move on from my Mormon past
2.) Grateful I can move on from my resentments in Texas
3.) Grateful that I am sober
4.) Grateful to have food, clothing, housing and shelter
5.) Grateful to have my needs met
6.) Grateful to be alive




Ate ok this morning, hung out with a few friends, meeting a friend later in Berkeley later today, Have my doctors appointment this morning

also have a good lead on a sober room ate in Oakland close to 19th street and lake Marriott on the east side.

I'm meeting a friend later, in Berkeley in the afternoon. an older trans-woman.




400.00 for my half of the rent, plus 55 in pg&e.



Id like to set up a place we could meet over the weekend. do you know where the B rooz cafe is in Oakland? the one on Piedmont ave. near the 4300 block.

I dropped of applications like crazy this week also sent you some copies to hold on to of id documents, and my name change, ill send a copy of a few more things, and when I draw up the will this week later.


I might appoint you a medical trustee in power of atty., in addition I might promote a friend Mark Peterson Estrada a transman whom is probably my best confidant in the city and assertive medicine healer and my confidant.


I have another good photo of me I like here


I might go to the noon meeting at AA






--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Monday, September 29, 2008

Monday, September 29, 2008

Slept well, my old drinking friend became sober saw her this morning, all the way in San Francisco from Houston Texas. Furthermore, I contained to grow; she looked a mess but might have a chance at clarity.

I updated my resume this morning, went to a meeting.


Gratitude List.
1.) Grateful to be sober
2.) Grateful to have a lead on a good sober roommate in Oakland
3.) Grateful to have a few good employment prospects
4.) Grateful to have seen my father and able to respect his wishes.
5.) Grateful to be loved, and have people who care about me
6.) Grateful to have the good times


Received an email from my father, which I understand and will not post, lost it a bit last night with someone but know what I must do.
--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Leigh in San Francisco- and my so called life

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Slept rather well again, last night. Woke up a bit late for Sunday morning. Perhaps I am becoming a bit lazy, labial, in San Francisco. Who likes to bitch, and a lazy American.
Furthermore, I think most and 90% of Americans are lazy, liberal trash. People are so co-dependant and know little of sacrifice, suffering, and make such and depend on others to solve the problems; we have no radical freethinker ideas. Consumerism and Capitalism is killing us.
Have a few things I need to do very important today such as laundry and other issues, to further reflect from my father, I need to agree with him that HJM could have been a drunk, I also admit my mother could have been I also remember the time the three of us hugging in the kitchen in Richmond.
I also understand its best if we keep apart, and hope my dad is still sober, and clean. He didn’t look to well, but my dad is somewhat of a lazy liberal even given that I am, and can be, and am quite liberal and my father and I might agree on some issues.
I feel badly for my president or future one, if Obama whom I like is elected, I worry he will become another JFK, I don’t think some people are ready for a African American President and Hate might endanger him.
Furthermore, I also have some issues with the California DMV, I have to shoot an e-mail to DLG about some things with PMG. I think its awesome that my father remembered my uncles birthday, perhaps I am wrong about him, I hope we can overcome our fear, resentment, and distrust of each other in the future.
AS far as my father suggesting I leave the bay area, I am here to stay. I am not going anywhere. I think my father is well scared, I am sorry I sent hateful correspondence, with him. I feel bad, I feel angry at my fucked up childhood.
I also was thinking I have someone I have known for 10+ years whom is attracted to me after transitioning in New Orleans; I could become married or partnered, do the metro sexual thing. Nevertheless, It won’t work, This person is very codependent, doesn’t understand what it means not to drink, and is a wasted talent of a brilliant person much like my mother.
I also have someone I have been seeing in the south bay, perhaps, we met once that could work out on some degree.



Gratitude List
1.) Grateful to have met my father for the first time in 10 years.
2.) Grateful to have people who Care about me In San Francisco, Houston and New Orleans
3.) Grateful to have a life, friends and to be in control of my life, and actions.
4.) Grateful to have faith in a goddess of my understanding
5.) Grateful to be sober
6.) Grateful for the weather
7.) Grateful to live somewhere where I have to be worried about being treated fairly if I am abused, sexually assaulted or harassed again.
8.) Grateful to live in a city, state and county that has legal protections againt sexual orientation and gender identity
9.)





Furthermore, I discovered that My father and I are best apart, However I distrust him somewhat, for example, I think I will make mike aware of the situation for our safety.

Sent an email asking for a chance in Houston,

Off to start my day

Leigh










--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Saturday, September 27, 2008
Today I slept well, awoke attended our woman of Safeway at 7am, Martin Gaetjens (My Father) which we Visited this morning, and gave me some unhappy but news I understood. I know sometimes it is not good for us to be together or family members or people who might have resentments.
I shall back away from his usual meetings and service commitments, I was worried about my father due to he looked like he might have slipped. I suppose he was angry, or scared. We talked and right now, we need to be apart. I also say he if needs to see me, we can be together but I shall respect his boundaries.
MY dad was a critic of myself, and rightfully so, I think I should work in what I know best addiction, and GLBT issues, why not get paid to carry the message to others, and eventfully have a mid life crisis and become a diesel dyke.

Furthermore, I am glad he faced his fear, and it felt good. I also am glad I was humble enough to face him. In addition, do whets right for me. I lost my grandmother, and my mother died as well. He told me some things about my mother that I believe
I am angry about but I see them now that I understand myself. I hope one day, we could see each other more.
Gratitude List for today
1.) Grateful to have hugged my father
2.) Grateful to be able to express my feelings honestly.
3.) Grateful to be sober and alive
4.) Grateful to have support circle in san Francisco’s glbt community
5.) Grateful to have people in Houston, New Orleans and the San Francisco bay area whom care about me (family, friends, etc)

I love you dad
--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Friday, September 26, 2008

Friday, September 26, 2008

Slept good last night, awoke around3am out of bed by 3:30 am showered till 4:00 am, out of door by 5am. Have a place I’m going to look at in South Berkeley. I also made some further arrangements with my Truck and Transport to California.
I’m not going to attuned the Affirmation Conference in the city of angels this year. However, perhaps Next year I'll drive down to sunny southern California, and also visit west Hollywood, Santa Moni8tca, and Brentwood and maybe even check out the diner were pulp fiction was filmed in south central Los Angles.
Furthermore I have a commitment to keep to Clair fairly, as well as a few other individuals. I also did some grooming and other factors this morning. Tuesday next week, I have my doctor’s appointment north of Piedmont, and some commitments in Montclair.
Thursday, next week I also have to go to the Legal Office to take care of my Medical and Burial Power Of Atty, to amend some things, and my last will was done in 2003, I mainly want to make some changes, and possible chartable contrubptions if DLG is no longer alive.
My Grandmother died, On Sunday, I am grieving, I also corresponded a bit with Tim Brookenver about Christen and Lilly. It’s a rough year and tough time for Houston and Texas. Perhaps 2008 will bring more prosperity when Obama gets elected, if McCain gets selected not elected.

Gratitude List
1.) Grateful for the weather
2.) Grateful to live in a city, state and county with legal protections for gender identity and sexual orientation which Uncle Sam needs to wake up and smell the coffee where here and we are queer to stay.
3.) Grateful to have made amends with my grandmother before she died.
4.) That I am in control of my life and have faith in a god of my own understanding.
5.) Grateful to be able to express my feelings and emotions sober in a positive mannerhe
--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Had a semi productive day, defragged the servers HDD, and did some routine naissance on my system. Continued to grow as an individual met someone special this morning, as well. Attended High noon today, went out a bit, have some employment things to do for clair.
Also might have a very very good lead on a place in the east bay which makes me very happy given its Berkeley as well. Or south Berkeley near the pacific center which is a double woot,
Furthermore, and sadly My grandmother was taken off the venletor today, and slowly quit breathing, as her body shut down. I miss her, dearly, but know shes looking after me above.
Furthermore, I wonder if she was in an in-between state. As I was on January 26, 2007 when I had a spiritual experience. Moreover, made changes in my life, and self-reformed my life.
I also could have ousted someone today, but didn’t. I also am going to attempt to converse with an individual whom I think should stand up for herself in more of a degree, but learned enjoying the séance is more progressive to Trans-Phobia sometimes, not every battle should be won.
Nor, is every battle worth fighting for, even if its hate.
I as of late struggle to get and let go of my inner terror, and demons and trauma. I also wonder if I will ever have a live and be secure again, I have a plan for some spirituality in my self today, perhaps I could be productive for myself.
Ive been locking individuals out, and being alone, and that’s just not cool. But I can’t have fun or enjoyment, I feel empty, lost and meaningless.


Gratitude List
1.)I am grateful for to be able to work on coping with pain and loss of my grandmother
2.) I am grateful to be sober
3.) I am grateful for clothing, shelter, and food
4.) I am grateful to have made amends with my grandmother before she died
5.) I am grateful to have reached out back to Houston or attempted to.
6.) I am grateful to have family, friends in San Francisco, Houston, Dallas, Austin, New Orleans, Berkeley, and Oakland whom care about me.
7.)I am grateful to attempt to overcome past trauma, and transgressions

Accountbality
1.) Mail
2.) Applications
3.) Meetings
4.) Greif
5.) Spiritualiy
6.) Application and security for inner self
7.) Job hunting, and follow-ups
8.) Morning
9.)
--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Slept rather well last night, Awoke this morning showered groomed, talked to DLG, my grandmother is still the same as far as I know. Went to a meeting at 6pm at the San Francisco Alamo club last night. I also might go to an evening meeting; I need a change in scenery.
I also did some research for a student yesterday who is one of my good clients, I shopped for California Auto Insurance. I spoke to a friend in the east bay as well, and another in the south bay. I ran into an old drinking friend again from Houston and Chances Bar whom is very badly messed up.
I feel very bad for her, she seems to understand aa is the place, to stop. However, she doesn’t have any humbmility, and is so much like me, Had coffee and hash browns this morning. I did a flyer for a restraint in the east bay, I designed it in Publisher, and Word, and Photoshop.
I also feel bad for RAP , I hope he is doing well, taking better care of his-self and better and finds a place and moves out of with his mother post Katrina. Roy obtained a dell Laptop as well. The date I was supposed to travel is now canceled due to my grandmother’s illness.
I started a new financial commitment as well. I also shopped. Had a good meeting with driver Doug, with the San Francisco Municipal railway, and also with for my grants to go back to college. I also further discovered more about the CDL, and got my new Costco card in my new name, and ran into a former MUNI driver that we were friends
I found out yesterday, that Now I know AC Transit is hireling for par transit drivers which I could quickly get licensed for and might conceder. Before going up to a class B with combination, air brake and passenger endorsements.
MUNI is an interesting transit agency to work for, you drive safe, mind your own business, don’t piss off the pimps, hustlers, thieves, gang bangers, drug dealers, homeless, etc and you keep your head high, safe, and mind your own damn business and you do ok for yourself. Ideally, the 90 or the 22 owl would be ideal routes for myself personally. My friend and blind date stood me up again, blah. Life stinks, and so does love.
Furthermore, I discover myself



The List.
1.) Doctors appointment
2.) Mailbox, us mail.
3.) Print papers, mail
4.) Call Insurance shop around.
5.) Perform Research for client and transmits data to server.
6.) Finish list for DLG & Duckworth / Sacco and e-mail data
7.) Mail further documents for AAA Texas.\
8.) Meet with Clair Today.
9.) Print PDF forms for Florida, Louisiana, Texas, and California.
10.) Send data to trucking company, and transport and moving and storage.






Gratitude List
1.) Grateful for being sober in mind, sprit and body.
2.) Grateful for being able to express my feelings
3.) Grateful to be able to let go of my past, and un butch and express my feelings and admit defeat.
4.) Grateful to be spiritual
5.) Grateful to know My grandmother soon will be in a better place
6.) Grateful to know I am a good person
7.) Grateful to have a life
8.) Grateful to be working the step
9.) Grateful to have prospects and a plan to better my present cirmstances.
10.) Grateful to admit fault in my transgressions and change my demeanor.










--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Life in San Francisco and a new happy chapter in my life

Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Slept good last night this morning, have an appointment about obtaining a grant to go back to school. Also going to clear up my IRS issues this week for tax estimation, a happier chapter in my life begins. My grandmother went officially into cartiric arrest, and is in a coma, with little chance of ever being alive in this world. She’s in a breathing machine.
Ate a yummy veggie side salad Jack in the box has awesome vegetarian salads. The best in San Francisco for the buck. Have to go pick up my inscriptions at the drug store as well. Slept well.
I miss being able to call my grandmother and tell her I love her. She lived to be eighty-five, and doesn’t want to live on a breathing machine. I also added some code to my site yesterday. In addition, the front page of the San Francisco Chronicle, speaks MUNI Accidents Cost S.F. Dearly. Which all the law suits, bad drivers, and poor reputation of the San Francisco Municipal Railway. We also ranked 2nd as the greenest city, we scored last for risk of disaster in the united states.
San Francisco ranked last due to the following reasons
1.) Traffic
2.) Lack of affordable housing.
3.)
Like Hurricane Ike, it’s a bad time to be in San Francisco when threes an earthquake, the same way it’s a bad time to be on Galveston island during a hurricane, and it’s for a non alcoholic a good time to be on bourbon street in New Orleans enjoying a hurricane at jimmy buffets Margaretville.

Gratitude List
1.) Grateful that I made amends with my grandmother
2.) Grateful that I have people in San Francisco, Houston, New Orleans, Berkeley, Oakland that Care about me
3.) Grateful That I am sober
4.) Grateful that my dreams are starting to become a reality
5.) Grateful to have a good support and social circle
6.) Grateful to have come to California on Jan 6th 2008
7.) Grateful to be sober from July 13, 2007

The List
1.) Mail
2.) Appointment today
3.) IRS
4.) Drug Store
5.) Write code, do step work, meeting




My Goals
1.) Be more adherence to my vet diet
2.) Cut back drastically on my coffee and iced tea consumption
3.) Drink a fuck of a lot more water
4.) Attend more bulimic anonymous, debtor anonymous, and overeaters anonymous, anorexic anonymous, video game anonymous, interned addicts anonymous, online game anonymous meetings
5.) Be kinder to others with service
6.) Read the big book more





Furthermore Discovering more about myself as an individual I continue to live, long, grow and prosper as a wonderful individual.
--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Monday, September 22, 2008

Monday, September 22, 2008

Today I got news, my grandmother is very sick, she’s on a machine. She lived to be eighty-five years old. My aunt lived to be ninety. She has been out seince yesterday, we improved our relatshionship massively. I spent more time with her growing up than I did my mother. It’s very painful and hurting.

I also received a call from CHP and The identification bureau which scares me, given it’s the equilvant of the Texas Rangers. I wonder what I did or if something’s wrong. They want to ask me some questions about my recent application for a driver’s license. It makes me wonder dearly if I am going to be discriminated against again.

Further I sent a message to an individual that I ran from in fear from Texas and Houston. I hope I am able to square things away with the damage I created in the community, I’m home sick. Yesterday and late last night I watched some of my favorite movies Reality Bites, Man Of the House, Black Dog, No Country for old Men, along the lines.

Doing laundry today, Might have a (wood!) date today, might not. Going to meet a friend visiting for a doctor’s appointment from Hayward. I also have an upcoming appointment at the Transgender Law Center amongst other items

I need to follow up for my application for employment at the Castro street HRC Store. I also need to follow up a few other items. I also applied for other items. I contained to grow, prosper, and move my life onward.

I also applied for a few social work positions in the East Bay. I also am meeting with a friend visiting today as well.




Gratitude List

1.) Grateful to be sober
2.) Grateful to have a program
3.) Grateful to know I don’t have to drink over fear
4.) Grateful to be able to face fear
5.) Grateful to be honest and committed to sobriety and spirituality.


The List
1.) Mail
2.) Meet friend(s) & Date
3.) Print & Mail Documents
4.) Banking
5.) Drugstore
6.) Shopping
7.) Call sober people
8.) Work steps
--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Why I left Houston, and the power of faith, the dark side or resentment

I moved to Houston in 2005 with bright hopes and prospects for Transition, change and getting away FROM my family so I could work on my true self.

I left in shame, guilt and having the clarity of how wrong, I was. I left for spirituality, to raise the bottom in a controlled affirming manner. I left for a new life, and the California dream, and American dream. I left foot the right reasons. I often wonder what if, but that is dwelling on the past.

Moving onward, I have a bit to do in the next few weeks. I have to see about my grant, for going back and getting my CDL again, I also have a few other things, talked to Mark E, yesterday as well.

I am so much like my mother, I look like her we have some of the same defects of personality; I like being alone and a bit of a hermit when mobile. It’s not that I don’t meet people; I just actually enjoy for the most part being alone and doing the right thing. I know I could be amazingly popular, and problem am but I’m sort of a woman of mystery.
Life, and daily thoughts
Slept good last night, awoke early this morning. Had coffee ate good this morning, met with PV this morning to take care of a few affairs and work I’m going to do for PV. I also printed a letter, yesterday foolishly gave into my addiction of food, and anorexia, at a chili cook-off.

Had a nice hot shower this morning, ate hash browns and coffee for breakfast. Wrote this letter studied a bit the CDL study guide for the written part of the exam, I still want to get on with SF MUNI. I don’t know why, I like the hours, the grueling task of working in a male dominated industry the fitness, the future long term of being a diesel dyke, and the open road, miles of intrastate cumbrance, ports, cities, and seeing the united states of America.


I also spoke to someone in the program, or my programs
AA, Debtors Anonymous, Food Addicts Anonymous, Bulimics Anonymous, Gamers Anonymous, Internet addicts anonymous. The Further discovery of myself, and life and self-awareness of my inner sprit and self.

Gratitude List.
1.) Grateful for the fact I have a life, and am building one
2.) Grateful for being able to express my feelings
3.) Grateful to be able to be of service, and less of a selfish bitch
4.) Grateful to be Honest, Loyal and committed in my programs and dealings with others
5.) Grateful to be able to be sober, and have physical, emotional and mental clarity
--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Life from the Lone Star State to the Sunshine State and beyond, the road ahead

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Upon awaking this morning, I had an awakening in myself, and heart and soul. With a self-discovery of life, and why People fear what they don’t understand.

Last night I witnessed the lynching of a Trans-woman. A verbal and threat of ass kicking, people sometimes even forget I am Trans. Which the for mentioned Trans-woman was not behaving in an appropriate demon or and horribly insecure. It worries me in the next few days I may see a hate crime.

I see the positional, plus the trans-woman who is a bit Goth, blond and call is very uh insecure and treated to lash back and knife other women, and scared them and also threatened to do other things. But the other women also retaliated similar. I hate to get caught in the middle of this.

Gratitude List
1.) Grateful I am secure in who I am
2.) Grateful to be sober and have physical, emotional, and mental clarity
3.) Grateful to be able to express my anger and resentment in a positive manner
4.) Grateful for the wonderful San Francisco weather
5.) Grateful to have Friends, family, aquaintances and support in Houston, San Francisco and New Orleans whom care genuinely about me.

The list
1.) Mail send documents
2.) Make plans for delivery of truck
3.) Forward information to Insurance company (AAA texas)
4.) Finance/ passport/ other issues
5.) Write Letter(s) & Code


Slept good, ate really good last night and this morning. Also sent code out. Wrote a few lines, and uploaded some new xhtml, and html to my web server as some php, and sql as well and java script

Posted a few photos, did some work in Photoshop, and word, and publisher for some personal projects and one of my clients. I also added a new search option and added a new intranet or two for others to use

Earlyer this week I met steve jobs














--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Friday, September 19, 2008

Life of a diesel dyke born again, in San Francisco and beyond

Friday, September 19, 2008

Busy day today, awoke early slept rather well. Took care of business today. Worked on the NO on 8 Campaign today. Printed some documents checked mail, my California drivers license came in today. Saw someone slick as a snake taking advance of those less fortunitneate and manipulating them for their capitol, when I had to get some documents printed at the social security office.

There are trouble times, ran into some religious nut jobs in civic center, which wanted me lynched. Also very busy tomorrow morning, took a nice long hot shower this morning and that felt very good and groovy. I slept quite well. Stuffed envelopes for another campaign I am active in.

Talked to Clair yesterday. Also mailed a few things, ran into mark Peterson Today. I also went to a good speaker meeting this morning at church and market, I might go there tomorrow or the the alano club.

Gratitude list
1.) To live and have a drivers license in a state where I have protections for decimation
2.) To be out, proud and uncensored despite at times being a bit radical
3.) To be able to talk to my grandmother and say I love you and not fight about our political differences.
4.) To be sober
5.) To be able to understand what I knew in Houston all along people care, I just have a resentment and left Texas because of that and not wanting to hurt others anymore so I did a geographical for both parties sanity.






Texas & Houston, Chris, and others.

I realized my bad blood, between those in Texas was due to the fact of being hurt, hurting inside and resenting what I did despite the fact Christen Williams, and Lilly roddy both understand. I left because I felt it was better for those that don’t/.
I needed humilinity and gratitude to I walked away, I left in pride to make a life for myself. I shall return as a diesel dyke when the time is right and old wounds have healed with me and others, and people ask lee who?

I’ll give notice, and go to lambda center and pick up my gold. Ill invite Lilly, Chris, and even Phyllis Frye. I do this because I care I want to give back to Houston, I also want to help others. I also want to have my record expunged. But that’s years down the road.
--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Kick Start my Faith and own personal jesus, and grattuide of life of 27 years young

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Slept good last night had a very hot shower this morning went to bed around 5pm, woke up at 3am, very recharged and refreshed today. Went walking this morning, burned some fat, going to take care of something difficult in the next few days.
Glad to still be sober, Ill post more about my experience it further involves the San Francisco Police commission, perhaps Ill even get to meet infamous Teresa sparks( again I met her a few years ago before she was president of the commission at pride), whom I admire and have followed her carrier for a long time.

Yet part of me is missing, I find it difficult for gratitude. I find it difficult to readjust to a normal civilian life, but its easier. I don’t want the drama of my past.

Just thinking of some of the famous individuals, I have met and shook hands with I’ve lived a respectable life so far the past 3-4 years of my life have been fast paced, with its ups and downs, drama, fear, horror, good choices and bad mistakes and poor judgment.

Interesting observations & current projects
Sometimes when Out and about, people out me as a transsexual woman, or a shim. Or whatever. Ill be posting my Bay Area shit list of trans-phobia individuals, businesses and other groups, or public service wall of shame. That’s sure to be some pride and un-censorship the database I am working on for my personal project. And its bound to piss a few people off, which doesn’t bother me, fuck yeah bring it on.

In the other factor I

1.) Bill white Mayor of Houston and former Entergy secretary under Bill Clinton
2.) Mayor Ray Nagin Mayor Of New Orleans
3.) Phyllis Frye famous transsexual atty. And lobbyist.
4.) Monica Lewinsky who gave bill Clinton one of the most famous blow jobs, I met her at a book signing
5.) Ray Hill famous for his bust of the dog food scandal, and the supreme court ruling (Houston v. Hill) which abolished “interfering with police procedure” which was often used to harass media, protesters, etc.
6.) Sgt Julia Oliver HPD who works in 911 emergency operations center in Houston emergency management Famous Transsexual Police Sgt
7.) Teresa Sparks President of the San Francisco Police commission famous transsexual police officer that does internal affairs
8.) President Bush (both of them) during storm recovery work
9.) Elder former president bush during Katrina recovery
10.) Former President Clinton doing during Katrina recovery
11.) Senator Clinton before she ran for president I met her during recovery operations
12.) Chelas Clinton in San Francisco once doing service work, I shook her hand
13.) Massena Davis director of the San Francisco Transgender Law center
14.) Lawrence as in (Lawrence-v-Texas) whom outlawed anti-some laws and gay sex or danced in Harris County Texas by the Untied States Supreme Court when George W Bush was running for office.
15.) Gavin Newsom Mayor of San Francisco 2 years ago I shook his hand in city hall when visiting San Francisco as a tourist
16.) Tom Delay former crook and mixed up in the Enron scandal in the court House in Houston
17.) Ken Lay former coo of Enron in the courthouse in Houston
18.) Andria Yates once in the Jail when I worked as a vendor & contractor inside
19.) Clarian Harris Once when In the Harris County Jail when I worked as a contractor and vendor inside
20.) Various seniors, and elected officials council members and others in the Texas political scene when I used to go to democratic and republican fundraisers when I drank, I can’t think of them all, in better times, and also heavy drinking and when I used to make border runs foolishly as a coyote, and a firearms smuggler and even sometimes worked for elected officials in dirty political deeds ( I sometimes solved problems, or ruined a few people) views which I retain anonminity about my shady contacts. I got out that line of work and retired.


Yet despite not being anyone noteworthy, but likening money, power, influence and drama, and meeting people and being kind with my southern hospitality. I am still unhappy, I feel part of me in not there or I don’t have what I want out of life, I make it, and I will survive but I feel I am in need of better, and want more and won’t give up hope, pride, power and determination.

I find I don’t want to drama, adrenaline rush even though nothing is more sexually erotic than high speed, drama, running and having fear I prefer not to have it, I choose not to.



The list for today
1.) San Francisco Police Commission
2.) Mail check and send documents to Houston & New Orleans & San Francisco, Oakland, Berkeley
3.) Make doctor’s Appointment
4.) Write Letter and apply for jobs
5.) Rest, eat well lots of water, meditation and AA meeting




Gratitude List
1.) Grateful that I have a plan in life
2.) Grateful that I know what I want out of life
3.) Grateful to be twenty-seven years young
4.) Grateful to be sober
5.) Grateful to have been able to be out and started my path young


--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Had a rough night, had a productive day at the doctor in Oakland yesterday. Mailed some of the documents for the settlement with a few issues in Austin and Dallas. Still miss Houston, I feel like I should be where the action is and right now that’s Houston.

The further I grow in my spiritual program in my inner self, I further enlighten my soul, spirt mind and soul. I have a understanding of myself, and further self, growth. I understand what I need not fear the unknown, and what I am powerless over.


Slept some, had a rough night in for a rough day today. Have some errands to run today. Have to get an earnings printout for the IRS I also have a few other matters to tend to as well. As well as doing a few other things this week



Gratitude List.
1.) I am Grateful for being sober
2.) I am Grateful for being able to call friends when I need to
3.) I am Grateful to be able to express my feelings
4.) I am Grateful for being honest with myself.
5.) I am Grateful for being able to restrain myself in poor choices





--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Life in the bay area, and powerless over other people, places and things

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Gratitude List
1.) Grateful to be free, sane, and in control of my life
2.) Grateful to have people who care about me
3.) Grateful to be alive
4.) Grateful to be sober
5.) Grateful to be able to be kind to others with charity and service

Slept as a rock last night, woke up early had 7 hours of sleep, recharged, my back is a bit better. I also have a lot to do today, Have my doctor’s appointment in Oakland today. I also have a few errands to run in Berkeley.
Spoke Karen today, she is a bit busy on hold on one of those automated service things. I also grew more spiritually.

Furthermore I understood within myself, more that I need to try and work harder on my inner soul and spirit. And faith of a god of my own understanding and innerpersonal faith, spirt and soul of the heart, mind and body.
Sunday, September 14, 2008

Step One
Question #1 What does it mean to admit something?
1.) That I am powerless over it
2.) That I have to be honest
3.) That I have to be willing to let people into my life
4.) That I cannot keep isolated and alone
5.) To admit it with the 100% truth and NOT Lie or make things up




Question #2 What does powerless mean to you?
1.) That I don’t Have any control over it
2.) Shit Happenings
3.) Things, people and places beyond my control
4.)








Question #3 - what does unmanageable mean to you?
1.) Chaos.
2.) Disorganized
3.) Panic
4.) Not working the steps
5.) Not going to meetings
--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Monday, September 15, 2008

Monday, September 15, 2008

Had a rough night last night continuing to grow, and prosper. Made a mad choice in a text message.
As follows.
Hi,

It's If some of you have received text messages from Leigh that appear to be suicide notes, rest assured that she is alive, if not well, as SFPD has found her and should be doing what is right for her.

If you call SFPD's nonemergency number--415.553.0123, you might be able to find out Leigh's status. She has what I believe to be a case number: 3677. You may be able to...actually, I just found out she's at SF General Hospital, and not in jail. (So it probably doesn't matter at this point but the officer involve was Ofc. Daugherty, *123.

Thanks for reading.

My text messages where a cry for help, I needed to talk to a friend and fell asleep and had a rude awakeing by SFPD

Anyway I am ok. 12 hours later.
Furthermore, I continue to grow and prosper, have a long trip to my electrolysis tomorrow. I also received a letter today from the department or rehabilitation today as well. Moreover, the San Francisco housing authority.
Furthermore I continue to grow as an individual and prosper, I had a spiritual awaking more today. I also feel my blood pressure was down again, and my salt. I took my HRT as well and continued to grow as an indidividual. Have an appointment with Clair on Wednesday.


Ate good today, going to a meeting this eveing. And than to bed,
--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Slept a bit late last night, awoke about 3, was out a bit, doing some applications and working on my resume. Ate ok this am, going to turn in early today given I am tired, and worn out and supposed to be resting.
Furthermore, I have a letter I am composing to Mayor Gavin Newsom about some suggestions for reform and change in the city’s policys .

Furthermore, I also have been dreaming of more and leaveing this body and earth. And sfo.















Gratitude List
1.) Grateful for the chilly weather
2.) Grateful to try and open up and end from the isolation which is making me more depressed
3.) Grateful for being able to talk about my feelings
4.) Grateful about being able to be honest
5.) Grateful for being able to ask for help?





--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Saturday, September 13, 2008

fear of the unkown, and my own personal jesus, peak-a-boo!

Saturday, September 13, 2008
Myself
Woke up this morning about 2am, out of bed by 3am. Slept Ok, a bit lost, in my soul today. I have a difficult road ahead and a difficult next few months, as well as the harsh pacific coast winter up coming.

Last night after dinner, I took the mission bus down to the mission district. I walked by the infamous Lexington club. I saw someone I am acquainted with but nor like or dislike tossed or intimated out of the Lexington club.
Trans-phobia is a bitch, but she does not really act or carry herself to well. It hurts right now given I stopped my journey for a year some for reasons within my control some for reasons beyond my control. Furthermore, I have a few other things I need to do.

I also observed that I am so resentful and hateful of a individual in Houston, I did everything I could to hurt her, now I’m in similar suction and did not repeat past mistakes. I know she and others do care, Maybe I need my space, and to get through my steps, My heart lies in Houston dearly. I miss Texas a lot, a hell of a lot, but I left per suction, anger, and also resentment. Maybe I felt a living geographical amend was best, perhaps I should let time, and not seeing me around the community would heel old wounds.

Its PISSES ME the FUCK OFF some individuals out me, I am open about myself, people just have to ask, people gwaak at me, maybe I need to change locations a bit, or geographicly relocate. I duno. Ill figure it out, had a good meeting this morning, and made progress, going to visit a prision with a friend as a visitor next week.


Observations

She draws unwanted attention to herself, and I hate to say it needs to work on her appearance, and demeanor. Moreover, she also does the Goth thing, which I have, but it doesn’t look good on her, it draws extra unnecessary attention to herself.
Doing more to take better care of myself, eating less, moving around more, and quit bitching about life, fear, and fear of the unknown. Ive also become a bit more careful as to who I let in my life, and worked on my spiritual meditation.


Dreams

Last night I dreamed of rolling thought the California country side, I won the lottery, and purchased a big F350 king ranch long bed crew cab with a power stoke diesel engine, and 4x4 and the FX4 level II off road package, and a 40 foot 5th wheel with double slides travel trailer with washer and dryer and on board generator and took up residence in the hills in a rv resort and became a plantphriust, and started my own nonprofit and PAC. Moreover, pumped a lot of money into San Francisco, Houston, and New Orleans with grants, fundraisers. In addition, became independently wealthy over night.

I dreamed I got my grandmother a cook, and driver to help her out through her later years, and bought her a brand new Volvo on a custom chassis with a long wheelbase and a custom console for her to put her things in the back seat. And a bright lamp for her bad vision so she can read, or watch tv, or listen to the radio with her own private partition so its easy for her to enter and exit, and she can be comfortable for the rest of her life

The list
1.) Meeting
2.) Check Mail
3.) Print AAA Texas documents and mail
4.) E-mail POTs / DLG
5.) Update files on server
6.) FEDEX Documents to RAP & CRM
7.) Call California Auto Insurance brokerage
8.) Update name and info on title with finance company, and paperwork
9.) Fill out lambda stuff and send documents and donation
10.) Send Letter to Center




























Gratitude List
1.) Grateful for the fact I don’t have to drink or go to bars to feel happy or enlighten or meet people.
2.) Grateful to be sober
3.) Grateful to have the tools to cope and to be alive Lambda Center Saved my life from suicide.
4.) Grateful to be able to be honest and open up more
5.) Grateful to be able to express my feelings
6.) Grateful to know what I want and where I want to go
7.) Grateful to be in good health
8.)



What I would Like to see with the Next President of the United States of America

1.) I would like to see the united states change tariffs to encourage domestic union manufacturing similar to the expired chicken tax of imported light trucks
2.) I would like to see universal healthcare
3.) I would like to see more private and public retirement plans, and benefits
4.) I would like to see us as Americans quit fighting for people whom don’t even agree on a country, push Iraq to be more divided as it once was and make a deal where everyone gets oil, and start withdrawing and be more of a peace keeping on border, and keeping forging fighters out. In addition, allow the Iraq people, which is a war we should have not even started. The Bio wepons and WMD's are long gone to the black market.
5.) I would like us to improve our relations with mother Russia. In addition, missile defense, maybe offer joint control of the system to enable us to stay ON GOOD terms, maybe even allow the UN access to the global missile control system or star wars.
6.) I would like to improve our labor relations with china, and get our union jobs back. Moreover, break up wall-mart as a monopoly.
7.) I would like to kill NAFTA it’s going to kill our infstructirue, union jobs, and hurt Profession Truck drivers and Intrastate commetice
8.) I would like to the the United States department on Entergy spend more money on magnetic accelerator research, and next generation fuel and power plant technology.
9.) I would like to see Transgender federal protections against discrimatnion for any reason, and GLBT marriage bill and non discrimination for federal employees, and active duty armed forces.
10.) I also think we need to improve our domestic transportation such as mass transit, high speed rail, freight trains, and repair roads, rest areas, and offer tax substadys for converting existing autos to duel fuel or alternate fuel, or hybrids.
11.) I would like to see more funding for public transportation
12.) I think we are overdue for reform of social service systems, and also change drug laws to decriminalize users, however have massive penalties for those who endanger others such as injecting.
13.) We need to tighten up our customs loop holes
14.) I think we should have a 50 state amendment of the right to bear arms
15.) I think collages should allow students and teachers, and employees bear arms if they are registered with campus police
16.) I think we should have more immunity from prosecution from protecting our property with firearms from junkies, drugs dealers
17.) I think we need immigration reform, and not amenity but allow those here to have a fair chance to pay off back taxes and work and also capitalize on people who want to work, the union jobs we desperately needs, tradesman, people with skills to build the countries new rail and decaying interstates, us highways, and destruction of natural daystars and clean up from hurricanes, fires, floods, etc.
18.) We need harsher penalties for human trafficking, drug smugglers, and slave labor domesticly and abroad.
































--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Friday, September 12, 2008

Friday, September 12, 2008

Slept good last night, awoke this morning, and had to take my medicine for my ear infection. Slept very soundly, but not overly tired.. Have to call the California Department of Insurance brokers this morning. To shop for California auto insurance. (because my policy has more lit med coverage in California, Mexico, New York and Canada) and its expiring soon, I also have to send in some regular documents to the insurance company as well.

Furthermore, I have a few places I may start applying for part time work. Or I might wait till I have my truck, Leigh Might be the messenger, courier, deliver girl again. I might even trade my truck for a moped, or motorcycle and let someone else take over the loan. (I doubt Ill let my baby go) That truck has been through two terms of George w bush, it’s been driven though in Texas, Louisiana, Arizona, Mississippi California, New Mexico, Nevada, Origen, Washington Sate and into British Columbia, and Nevada Leon Providences, Of Mexico and Canada.

I have a bond with that truck; I also had my spiritual awakening in the driver’s seat. That is priceless, as Charlton Hesston once said, Over My cold dead hands.
Self-Assessment
1.) Work On being so overly judgmental
2.) Work on being less of a bitch
3.) Work on my self-hate and hate of others
4.) Work on my controlling and dominating personality
5.)
Gratitude List
1.) Grateful that I am learning more about myself
2.) Grateful that I have drive and can remain focused and disciplined in a place where it’s easy to lose focus
3.) Grateful that I know about myself..
4.) Grateful That I can talk about my suppressed feelings and child hood expanses and have understood I want to use my pain, suffering and drama to help others going through similar experiences (Its why I started blogging in the first place I’m Out the closet and public with my life to help others)
5.) I am grateful to have finished with my name change, social security change, Have my new social security card, and Have my new California Drivers License.





As Of Late I’ve felt and through about going home to New Orleans for the holidays. To visit folks, and maybe drive to Houston Perhaps. On the other hand, maybe I’ll wait. I have not been home since 2005, I have not really visited it’s been a long, time and I have changed in many ways more than you can probably, understand.


I also know why my father and I have such hostility; in 2006 or 2007, we had bad blood between us. When I got drunk at the pride fest prior. I also figure out some individuals and I just don’t get along, or like each other or are healthy.
Furthermore I’ve thought about long term in life what I want, need and sacrifices I am willing to make to achieve what is right for me at any cost within reason.
Spirituality, I’m going to start staking 15 minutes a day again to mediate and relax, and clear my head I have a location in mind.


My resentment toward myself, guilt, shame, and anger toward past transgressions hurts. My racism, hate, self-hate and homophobia also hurts dearly, but I build grow and prosper, I need to stop being the fucking victim. I know eventfully Ill make it through this, I know I am a strong person spiritually, emotionally and physically I keep myself fit.
--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Life

`
http://signingforsomething.org/blog/?p=255
www.leemcg.com

Thursday, September 11, 2008
Spiritual

Today I felt a spiritual experance with something more and more. I continue to grow and prosper and blossom as an individual. I am by no means perfect, but am
Personal

Today is alas a bit of a personal day, for me. Seven Years ago Terrorist attacked the world trade center, 14 days later on September 25, 2001 I lost my mother on my uncles birthday, I had the displeasure on October 22, 2008 I discovered my mother’s badly decomposed body.

I am a patriot. I love this country, On the other hand I don’t like liars, cheaters, rapists, those who abuse animals, women, children, child molesters, murders, those who have produce against sexual orientation, gender identity, sexuality, race, religion, police views.

Polical

San Francisco is an intersecting place where anything goes. Nevertheless, it seems so separatist, but most of society and America is, full of being so overly judgmental, stereotypical, and less well open. Even San Francisco and California in some manners is this way.

Furthermore, I feel even though San Francisco is not much of a firearm culture, groups as if the Pink pistols here have good taste. The reality is San Francisco’s outrage to taxpayer subsided Drug Use with liberal harm reduction, is bullshit.

So Called Harm Reduction treatment programs are garbage they hurt the people in AA / NA who really want help individuals abuse the system. With Taxpayer Subsides, drug use. At the experience of business owners.

We need more Jails, prisons and courts for individuals, I am no angel myself. But its where I got sober, I allowed a resentment to build. Moreover, I took the law into my own hands, fell into vodka, beer, and whine. And occasional whiskey.

If people don’t want to help themselves, lock them up. I also think needle exchange is a bad idea, as well as people who shoot need treatment and committal it is a public health hazard for children, and non junkies.

I support San Francisco’s Sanctuary city policy, I think I think the San Francisco Chronicle has badly covered it, there are many good people and the federal government needs to reform Labor, wages, and also give Americans who are here legally as well as those who want to work and build America a fair chance but also allow them to pay taxes, and become documented without fear of a double cross.

Gavin Newsom has his eyes on Sacramento, as well as other ideals. The Idea for a tenderloin court for public newsuances and committals is much needed. The Infamous Hibernia Bank Building it will be interesting to see who bought it with the real estate downturn. But his disgrace to the ID Card program something I don’t need to do. Given I now have my California driver’s license.

I FEEL AS if calling me a thief is like raping me, which Is why I am so angry.

Gratitude

1.) I am grateful for having people who care about me
2.) I am grateful for the weather
3.) I am grateful for having a good program and resources to come
4.) I am grateful for having a good leadership skills and working on my defects of charter.
5.) I am grateful I had the courage to come forward to the police commission and soon to the San Francisco FBI Field office, I am going to report the hate crime & sexual assault and what Happened to me in Texas to bring closure.
6.) I am grateful to be sober
7.) I am grateful to be in good health
8.) I am grateful to be in good physical shape
9.) I am grateful to be out the closet and proud
10.) I am grateful that I can share my experiences, stringent and hope with the world.


To do
1.) Therpey today
2.) Laundry
3.) Pick up items
4.) Print documents for AAA texas and mail
5.) Mail documents to client, upload to server
6.) Mail check for ID Card
7.) DMV
8.)



Family

I feel less conncted with my family, maybe San Francisco and California is a good place to find yourself. I lost my father due to my drinking, and being a bitch to him. I fell less conncted to my southern right-wing nut job roots.

Inner-self

Ive found more about myself, and self-discovery for who I am as an individual and continue to grow and prosper. Ive found I don’t like crowds.


I also have found I would like to take my life-experiences and try to help other individuals maybe save a life, soul, or two, which is hurting.

I am accountable for my actions, past and present, current and far, and future. I am cleaning up my shitI allowed to build.
--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Life on the run in San Francisco and beyond on the go

1.) Call auto Insurance Broker for obtaining California Auto Insurance--



Wednesday, September 10, 2008

It turns out the reason I have been so sick and irritable, little did I know I had a major sinus infection and ear infection. I am taking penicillin right now and cold medicine for a massive ear infection in my left ear that started to spread to my right ear.
Had a semi productive day, talked to my sponsor and have to shop for a new one I have been sponsor less and I have good coping skills. Enjoying listening to rockabilly today. Elivs, Jerry Lee Louis.

The other factor of late, I dreamed last night of hiking up the San Bruno Mountain, or hiking in the winter in Lake Tahoe. Alternatively, snowboarding. The idea of fitness. And extreme sports Today is my 2nd day veg again. And also I start coffee again this morning much to LS disappointment.
Wish List
1.) To be able to make amends with my father one day.
2.) Finish Paying off debits and making amends
3.) Make amends to Christen Williams, Lilly Ruddy, Dayna Gilbert, Carolyn Bosnia, Chris Tux, Others I hurt in the Houston GLBT community and the New Orleans GLBT Community and the San Francisco GLBT Community
4.)

Gratitude List
1.) Grateful to be able to work on my life and inner self and to be living in San Francisco
2.) Grateful to understand that I’m angry at god and I need to work on that and my spirituality post Latter Day Saint (un-realistic of coming back)
3.) Grateful for the cold weather and to be living in San Francisco
4.) Grateful for being nice, kind, and understanding.
5.) Grateful to have finished my DL-328 , SSN changes, name change, gender change
6.) Grateful to have started my transition young
7.) Grateful to have friends and family in Houston, The Bay Area and New Orleans area
8.) Grateful to be out the closet



The List
1.) Mail Letters and Documents
2.) Take written test at DMV, Obtain California Drivers License
3.) Study for written test at dmv
4.) Mail complaint to ethics board
5.) Print AAA Texas documents and mail for insurance
6.) Mail copies of registration and Texas Drivers License and court order for name and gender change for Interstate Transport from Harvey, LA to San Francisco, CA
7.) Call California Auto Insurance Broker to shop around for insurance, obtain AAA membership given séance transitioning last time I had a hard time changing a tire on my big butch truck and also given I have a few conferences I want to go to in LA and might even conceder moving to LA (at some point) given it’s similar to Houston but California.
8.)

I also am grateful I didn’t see christen while she was here, perhaps I think too much, It’s a can of worms I don’t want to open in a metaphor manner of speaking.

I also thought of a quote for today “try not not hard, but the answer is to do first things first, and keep it simple and don’t think too much smarty panties”

I have some work to do on my web server in the upcoming week and weekends.

Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Tuesday, September 09, 2008
The Reality of my life is clear I need more spirituality in myself, and outside in my side.
I need to strut my stuff less. (I get hit on a lot by guys)

Gratitude List.
1.) Grateful for the fact I don’t have to drink today
2.) Grateful for the fact of the wonderful cold weather
3.) Grateful for not having to leave Houston for IKE
4.) Greatful of having folks who care about me
5.) Greatful of knowing what I need to do to work the steps



Further more I have to contact a few places today and go back to the dmv soon. And to do a few other things also for some financial matters as well. I have more and more to do for my life. I have more to do for myself and to continue to grow and prosper.

This morning being powerless over other people palces and things was around some guy smoking stuff, and drunk. Kept on the dry path,

UH not much else to discuss. Later caio.


Talked to a few folks back in space city on IM, Tim Brookenver, and elly as well, maybe Im only starting to find myself at 27


The list
1>) Post Office,
2.) eat
3.) spirtuali
4.) make appointment
5.) mail / package tracking





--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Life on the run in San Francisco and beyond on the go

Sunday, September 07, 2008

Feeling better today, slept good last night, was very hot. Nevertheless, made out ok. Felt a bit icky but ok this morning, ran into TLM as well. I also am a little less of a bitch as of late.

Feeling good. Spiritually I felt bad, but I feel a bit better now, or somewhat better than I did earlier. My back is bent back more into proper posture as well. My shoulders feel a bit less sore. I also walked this morning and caught MUNI as well.

Life is rough, but I’m ok, though a bit tattered around the edges sometimes. However, I do ok for myself, and as an individual. Never did I think in Jan 2007 my experiences between then and July 2007 when I quit drinking. Would my life change, My life is starting to improve.

I also never through I would overcome my resentment toward christen as I did. I mostly resent myself, and my insanity and stupidity.

As far as finances right now things are bad, but could be a fuck of a lot better, my current projections to be on target for what I need to do, is moving on, and I’ll have to change some things, regardless I feel like anyway it could be for the better.

I have someone I massively dislike that doesn’t respect me and double crosses me that I have a few business relatshionships with that are a bit uneasy and disgust me. I continue to grow and prosper as well. I also know more about myself and whom I am as a n individual what I will stand for and alas what I will not as well.

I grow more and more daility spiritually. I also have been doing and working my 4th step more and more, like in the midnight hour she wants, and desires and continues to prosper


I also observed my and continue to work on my domnateing, negative, narcissitic personality and defects as an individual.









Gratitude List

1.) Grateful for being able to manage my faith
2.) Grateful for being loved by others
3.) Grateful for the weather
4.) Grateful for having faith
5.) Grateful for being ok

1.) To drop off items to MS
2.) Print documents / banking/ finance
3.) Finish project in excel / money / quickbooks
4.) Finish resting prep work
--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Saturday, September 6, 2008

I have found some reason to my recent sadness, and reality check. I want more than anything for the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints to open its doors for me. I want more, and miss church, and it hurts my faith is un-welcoming to me, and also leading the fight against prop 8.

I also have been sick my blood pressure and sugar are a bit low and obscure as well Im tired of hurting and so sick and tired of being sick and tired.

I also know that why I am sad, Its sucks to be young and preety and transgender, maybe I have resentments on my life, how I came out, accepted myself, events in Houston, San Francisco, New Orleans.

I miss Houston quite a bit, but I have no place to go, and no one I would turn, to maybe I feel I should crawl under a rock and hide. I also feel guilt shame, and embarrassment over some things I rembered I did when I drank, and I don’t quiet know how to process the information and overload of clarity.
I also know I am a natrul born leader and likeable when I work a good program in life. But the truth be told, I also enjoy it with my power driven, economicly, power, capitalist-ruthless cut-throat bitch personality.

I like power, money, the finer things in life, control, influence and dommnation of the world, people fear me because I don’t fit gender sterotypes so individuals whom are afraid of me. I don’t like the fact that Im not an agel, but a theif or a laptop theif I am not. I don’t like the fact that I feel my ass is being kissed, and people think I stole a laptop and I did not steal, it nor do I know who did it.

I don’t like the fact that SFPD was down my ass in this, and I might be in trouble for something I didn’t commit, I don’t like the fear of being charged for something I had no part in, nor do I know who has the laptop.

Its upsetting to me, that I am implyd in dishonesty, or theft. Its upsetting in me, that I would not even call Houston or Phyllis for help, or even could ask for such in some matters, and I think christen might be headed to SFO to double-cross me.

I don’t trust many individuals, and fear of my world crashing down is not very pretty for me. I dislike law enformcent very much, my beef with SFPD is their mistreatment in Jan& feb 2008, mistaken visual idneity and abuse and mistreatment. And also lack of equil treatment in wanting to file a report and being denied the right to do such. I also am tired of being discrmainated in health care access or If I am very forthcoming to law enfrocment the possibility of being abuse given present cirmstances.
--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger
Saturday, September 06, 2008

The reality of what I need to do is clear, service, step work and recovery. I cant let go of my pain as of late, I don’t know why I get so crazy and do a pos, program. But its happening, I don’t have the entergy as of late, maybe Im depressed or nervous or want these things to run through.

Went to a meeting at 8am at church and market at our lady of safeway as we call it in San Frnacisco. I also called Karen as well, and kept working, got hit on by 3 guys this morning and two girls before noon. I also spoke to someone else more recently as well.

Grattuide list
1.) Greatful to be sober, and be able to talk about my pain
2.) Greatful to be able to face reality, and not be overly concered with people pleasing
3.) Greatful to be more securie with myself
4.) Greatful to know what I want out of life
5.) Greatful to be alive, clothed, fed, sober, and bankrolled

To do
1.) Rest relax
2.) Eat sleep rest and recover
3.) Read big book
4.) Compose code, for a clinet and e-mail proofs
5.) Send information of backround to another client



I realsed something, I am so angry the chapter for employers which I read at the meeting this morning spoke out to me in tears. I need to study my big book more. I have to also study for my California Drivers test.

The thought of just running into christen Williams scares the hell out of me, if she truly is comeing to San Francisco. Is it for vacation, does she want to ruin me, does she want me jailed in Texas, I feel afraid, But Im not over her. I feel inferior as she told me things might happen, and I ruined my life, or whats left of it.

The thought of relapse when I see her is foolish as I have to choose to relapse, I go to meetings daily because I know I will if I hang around slipperly people places and things which I am right now due to events beyond my control.
--
Leigh "LEE" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Friday, September 5, 2008

Hatfield quotes a former Yale classmate who told him: "George W. was arrested for possession of cocaine in 1972, but due to his father's connections, the entire record was expunged by a state judge whom the older Bush helped get elected. It was one of those 'behind closed doors in the judges' chambers' kind of thing between the old man and one of his Texas cronies who owed him a favor ... There's only a handful of us that know the truth."

I feel ashmed using peoples good name to get myself out of bad trouble, I did various victimless crimes and did time, and bit the dust. But the truth is I hold shame, reality sucks bush and I have something in common. Using connections to save my ass, sometimes from being arrested at all.
--
Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger
Friday, September 05, 2008

Had a nightmare last night even years later, I lost my mother this month shortly after 9-11. I also had my bottom begin until my spiritual experience with my auto accident in Jan of 2007.

Yesterday, I went to the California DMV did the DL-328, Applied for a drivers license, and got my name from McInnis Lee Gaetjens to Leigh McInnis Gaetjens as I am now known by The State of California, The DMV, IRS, Social Security Card, the county of alameda, The city and county of San Francisco, and the Federal government now knows me as Leigh McInnis Gaetjens a 27 year old female. It’s legal.

Around the end of October 2008 I will have my 4x4 out here Ideally and go back to messenger work. I’ve thought about Clair’s suggestions. For example, I might go back to doing messenger work, I also found out at the DMV my truck will have commercial plates required by California law for personal pickup trucks in the bay area, and get a extra 30 mins free parking, and can park in loading zones.

Furthermore, I will attach an e-mail from a confessional and to family and friends for notoriety reasons, and I leave my history in my blog. Maybe my blog and website is sort of like having children.

my biography one day, which is what my Blog domain LEEMCG.COM will become my bio in cyberspace, and the depths of Google and the internet from New Orleans, to Houston, to Dallas, to Austin to San Francisco to New York city, to Los Angles and more and beyond

Gratitude List
1.) Grateful that I am sober
2.) Grateful that I finished my DL-328 and other issues
3.) Grateful I finished my gender change and name
4.) Grateful that I have gratitude in life again
5.) Grateful that I am able to work on my shortcomings


The list
1.) Study DMV Stuff
2.) Post Office
3.) Laundry
4.) Work steps
5.) Do research / bookkeeping and compose paper



Furthermore, I have more other tasks I need to finish soon, I’ve been thinking about life. I also talked to someone with “connections” supposedly Obama is very Transgender friendly for all civil rights but doesn’t want to admit it publicly until in office.

The fact of having basic federal civic rights and being recorded by all local, county, state, and the federal government is good in it self. The fact is I hate being taboo, a taboo subject and people hate me.

Furthermore here is an email I sent out.
--
Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger
Friday, September 05, 2008

Had a nightmare last night even years later, I lost my mother this month shortly after 9-11. I also had my bottom begin until my spiritual experience with my auto accident in Jan of 2007.

Yesterday, I went to the California DMV did the DL-328, Applied for a drivers license, and got my name from McInnis Lee Gaetjens to Leigh McInnis Gaetjens as I am now known by The State of California, The DMV, IRS, Social Security Card, the county of alameda, The city and county of San Francisco, and the Federal government now knows me as Leigh McInnis Gaetjens a 27 year old female. It’s legal.

Around the end of October 2008 I will have my 4x4 out here Ideally and go back to messenger work. I’ve thought about Clair’s suggestions. For example, I might go back to doing messenger work, I also found out at the DMV my truck will have commercial plates required by California law for personal pickup trucks in the bay area, and get a extra 30 mins free parking, and can park in loading zones.

Furthermore, I will attach an e-mail from a confessional and to family and friends for notoriety reasons, and I leave my history in my blog. Maybe my blog and website is sort of like having children.

my biography one day, which is what my Blog domain LEEMCG.COM will become my bio in cyberspace, and the depths of Google and the internet from New Orleans, to Houston, to Dallas, to Austin to San Francisco to New York city, to Los Angles and more and beyond

Gratitude List
1.) Grateful that I am sober
2.) Grateful that I finished my DL-328 and other issues
3.) Grateful I finished my gender change and name
4.) Grateful that I have gratitude in life again
5.) Grateful that I am able to work on my shortcomings


The list
1.) Study DMV Stuff
2.) Post Office
3.) Laundry
4.) Work steps
5.) Do research / bookkeeping and compose paper



Furthermore, I have more other tasks I need to finish soon, I’ve been thinking about life. I also talked to someone with “connections” supposedly Obama is very Transgender friendly for all civil rights but doesn’t want to admit it publicly until in office.

The fact of having basic federal civic rights and being recorded by all local, county, state, and the federal government is good in it self. The fact is I hate being taboo, a taboo subject and people hate me.

Furthermore here is an email I sent out.
--
Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Tuesday, September 02, 2008


The further reality and self-discovery of me, and inner personal enlighten for peace, and my quest to find peace, joy and happiness, moves a bit closer. Hurricane Gustiav it appears from some inside sources, web clips and it helps to have sources close in Search and rescue missions, an d recovery operations has spared mostly my folks damage.

The city and state largely overreacted but the threat of one worse than Hurricane Katrina hurts more, and was largely successful; in allowing proper evacuation. Furthermore My gratitude grows as I compose this on the BART this morning on the way to my appointment, a few prospects for temp work, and a few other matters as well.

I spoke to another individual whom I had been corresponding with for a while back in town, CW also will be in town also I think and that worries me, Perhaps I will keep a low profile for the next few weeks. I do want to see her, but I must respect her boundaries and continue to grow into further enlighten and self-discovery to myself and future

Gratitude list
1.)grateful that I have the ability to find humor in life’s shortcomings
2.) grateful that I am working a good program
3.) grateful that I have the ability to put things into my own personal Jesus.
4.) Grateful that I am in San Francisco and moved on from my past in Texas & Louisiana
5.) Grateful that I was able to put my truck into a higher power.


This morning now, I am composing this before my 10 Am doctor’s appointment in Oakland I have that appointment to take care of business, I have not had much word on my truck which might have been flooded by the hurricane outside New Orleans but only time will tell.




--
Lee McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger

Monday, September 1, 2008

Monday, September 01, 2008

The reality of life, and myself discovery of myself. Continuing to grow. I had a awakening of gratitude this morning as follows, the reason my Anger, resenentment and shame builds and was lashed out at an Individual whom has 10+ years sober, is with and as a result of my own shame, of becoming what I resented and vowed to never join the ranks.


Furthermore, I discovered more about myself, and interpersonal enlighten, my pickup truck might be destroyed by gusto, possibly, amongst other issues. Which is going into faith in my higher power?

Gratitude list
1.) Grateful for being able to grow spirituality
2.) Grateful for being able to let go, and put my truck and hurricane gusty to my higher power
3.) Grateful to have a ok program
4.) Grateful to be clothed, fed, and sober
5.) Grateful to be realistic, and honest.


The list
A.) Laundry
B.) Bills
C.) Planning for tommmorow
D.) Rest, and taking care of myself
E.) Being more disciplined in myself.

Today went ok, had a good 7am meeting, also took care of other things like laundry. Have to shop for a backpack soon

Took care of a few other affairs, some finance affairs, have a huge busy and stressful day tomorrow, and much to achive today in prepration for it.
--
Leigh "Lee" McInnis Gaetjens
Ind Contractor / Web Mistress leemcg.com
PO Box 425081
San Francisco, CA 94142
mcinnisleegaetjens@gmail.com
(713) 578-0016
http://mlgaetjens.livejournal.com (blog)
http://mlgaetjens.photobucket.com (photos)
http://www.leemcg.com/ (Website)
http://www.transitioningfemale.com/ (blog simulcast untill transfered to moveable type)
mlgaetjens- yahoo messenger
mlgaetjens2038 - aim/aol messenger